Sermon

A Husband's Duty of Sacrificing

Maranatha Baptist Church of Columbus, OH - Latest Messages

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  1. First, let me thank again all of those who have over the months memorized different parts

  2. ! of Ephesians and then have willingly come to the front here and with all humility recited

  3. ! for us. We have been blessed by the wide diversity of individuals that have tackled that

  4. challenge. Agreed? And probably more than once, as others have done it, you've thought to yourself,

  5. oh, I respect that, and I'm glad somebody else is doing it. I bring this up because we are,

  6. I am going to encourage one more pass at the book of Ephesians, and I want you to know already

  7. that Ephesians chapter 1 has been taken, and I understand that there is a small group that is

    Ephesians 1 chapter mention

  8. working behind the scenes to pull this off. Remember, you don't have to do it solo. We've

  9. had a number of different groups do it different ways, and I appreciate the diversity, but we have

  10. Ephesians chapter 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 that still remain to be taken for one last pass. And I bring

    Ephesians 2 chapter mention

  11. this up to encourage you to prayerfully think of whether or not this is something that you

  12. can talk someone else into doing.

  13. Do you follow me? So husbands could say to their wives, honey, I've been praying about this, and I

  14. think it's a great idea for you. Ah, I'll be in trouble. But I'm just encouraging you, just giving

  15. you a heads up that we're going to be looking for people that are willing to take, willing to give

  16. their best and work at Ephesians chapter 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 in the last pass. And I trust that I will be

    Ephesians 2 chapter mention

  17. just absolutely swamped with volunteers so I don't have to ever bring it up again in the next week or

  18. two. Now, that being said, I want you to turn in your Bibles this morning, but before you do,

  19. I want you to hold it up like this. I want you to hold it. Some of you are holding up phones.

  20. I saw a most touching video, little clip, this week. Someone posted it on Facebook

  21. of believers in China receiving their first copy of the Scriptures.

  22. came in a suitcase. And these believers opened up. They were waiting in this room,

  23. and they opened up the suitcase, and they took out their Bibles for the first time, their own copy.

  24. And some of them kissed the Bible and opened their Bible and wept.

  25. Oh, how I love thy law. It is my meditation all the day.

  26. Now, I don't know about you, but I can't help myself sometimes.

  27. I kiss this book, not because I love this book, but because I love the Lord Jesus,

  28. who this book is all about.

  29. And this book has been one of the principal ways He has blessed me,

  30. not only with salvation, but by progressive sanctification.

  31. I want you to turn in your Bibles this morning to Ephesians chapter 5.

    Ephesians 5 chapter mention

  32. And we are going to be looking together at Ephesians chapter 5, verse 26 through 30.

    Ephesians 5:26–30

  33. Begin in 25, because that's actually where the thought picks up, but let me read it to you.

  34. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

  35. that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word,

  36. so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing,

  37. that she might be holy and without blemish.

  38. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies,

  39. He who loves his wife loves himself.

  40. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it,

  41. just as Christ does the church.

  42. Because we are members of His body.

  43. Father God, this morning,

  44. we are blessed by the undeserved privilege of prayer.

  45. And as the author of Hebrews instructs us,

  46. we are to come boldly before the throne of grace,

  47. that we may find help in time of need.

  48. And we come this morning with humility,

  49. confessing the frailty of our flesh,

  50. the fickleness of our hearts,

  51. the effect that the culture we live in has upon our thinking.

  52. And we ask that Your Word would be opened unto us,

  53. and that we would see the glory of Your wisdom,

  54. and that we would know the power of Your grace,

  55. and that we would grow in our walk

  56. for the testimony and the glory of Christ.

  57. And I am mindful, Father, this morning,

  58. that preaching is not merely the exercise of a human heart and will,

  59. but it is also a dependent discipline

  60. upon the enabling of the Spirit of God.

  61. And this morning, I need Your help.

  62. And Your people need Your help.

  63. And we plead with You to answer our prayer.

  64. In Jesus' name we pray.

  65. Amen.

  66. Let me start out by kind of getting to the end

  67. and helping you see what is really going to be the heart of our lesson this morning.

  68. I want you to put your finger,

  69. or even if you are so bold,

  70. go ahead and underline two little words.

  71. They are in verse 29.

  72. And they are translated various ways in the English.

  73. Tish, I think she used the word feed.

  74. In verse 29, feed and cherish.

  75. In the ESV, it is translated as nourish and cherish.

  76. And it is actually, I think, probably a more accurate rendition of the text.

  77. And I'm in no way belittling the translators,

  78. but the more accurate way to handle that word

  79. is over in Ephesians 6, verse 4,

    Ephesians 6:4

  80. where it says,

  81. Fathers, don't provoke your children to wrath.

  82. But then it says,

  83. But bring them up.

  84. That translation, that word, bring them up in the Greek,

  85. is the same word that is used over in 29,

  86. where it says,

  87. Nourish.

  88. We'll get to that later.

  89. So I want you to circle those two words,

  90. Nourish and cherish.

  91. And what I want to announce this morning

  92. on the authority of the Word of God

  93. is that a Christian husband is responsible

  94. for the spiritual development of his wife.

  95. In fact, God's intent

  96. is that he

  97. is to be the most significant instrument

  98. apart or second to the Spirit of God.

  99. And so,

  100. if you are at the point

  101. where you can nudge your husband

  102. and say,

  103. You've got this.

  104. Let's go home.

  105. Go ahead.

  106. Or you may think,

  107. Well, maybe a little refresher course.

  108. I mean, I've got this.

  109. It's basic.

  110. But it's all right.

  111. We'll sit and listen.

  112. I want you to know that Satan's a liar.

  113. And really,

  114. he doesn't care

  115. which lie

  116. you are affected by

  117. so long as

  118. he can lead you away

  119. from the wisdom

  120. and the grace of God.

  121. God intended from creation

  122. that many of his blessings

  123. should flow through marriage.

  124. And through the respective roles

  125. that he has appointed

  126. for a husband and a wife,

  127. and Satan,

  128. knowing God's plan

  129. and God's purpose,

  130. has done his very level best

  131. to lead men and women

  132. away from God's wisdom

  133. into their own inclinations

  134. and into his lies.

  135. I mention that

  136. because what we're going to learn

  137. this morning

  138. from God's Word

  139. about a husband's role

  140. is really at odds

  141. in a very sharp way

  142. with our contemporary culture

  143. and its virulent feminism.

  144. But unless we get carried away

  145. with the idea,

  146. Well, things are a whole lot

  147. worse today

  148. than they used to be.

  149. I want you to understand

  150. that what is written here,

  151. written almost 2,000 years ago,

  152. was as much at odds

  153. with the culture of that day

  154. as it is on this day.

  155. Guess what?

  156. When Jeremiah penned the words

  157. in 17.9

  158. that the heart is deceitful

  159. above all things

  160. and desperately wicked,

  161. he wasn't just talking

  162. about ancient Israel.

  163. He was talking about,

  164. guess what?

  165. Me, you.

  166. We all struggle

  167. with the reality

  168. of our own heart.

  169. And so while we

  170. would have to confess

  171. that the pendulum

  172. has swung

  173. from one extreme

  174. to the other,

  175. nevertheless,

  176. it is not where

  177. God wants

  178. our thinking to be.

  179. And so this morning,

  180. we with humility

  181. must take up the text

  182. and say,

  183. what is God saying

  184. to us

  185. that reflects

  186. His wisdom

  187. and His will

  188. and His goodness?

  189. The ancient world

  190. often viewed women

  191. as primarily valuable

  192. for producing

  193. legitimate offspring,

  194. caring for domestic order,

  195. or for man's

  196. personal entertainment.

  197. I'll put it

  198. in a little more

  199. crass vocabulary.

  200. The idea was

  201. that she's good

  202. in the kitchen,

  203. she's good

  204. in the laundry room,

  205. and she's good

  206. in the bedroom.

  207. That was the attitude

  208. of the ancient world.

  209. Now,

  210. we'd have to say

  211. that the modern world

  212. may have made

  213. some minor

  214. amendations to that,

  215. but the truth

  216. of the matter is

  217. is that the modern world

  218. really has

  219. not a radically

  220. different view.

  221. And so I want you

  222. to imagine

  223. just for a moment,

  224. just stop and think

  225. with me,

  226. of how unbelievably

  227. challenging it was

  228. to become a Christian

  229. as just a classic

  230. pagan in the ancient world

  231. and discover that God

  232. had some pretty pointed

  233. things to say

  234. about your marriage.

  235. I thought getting saved

  236. was just about

  237. going to heaven.

  238. And here's God

  239. telling me

  240. as a Christian man

  241. that I have some

  242. profound responsibilities

  243. in relationship

  244. to the wife

  245. that I have.

  246. And so I want you

  247. to understand

  248. as we take up

  249. this passage

  250. that here is the point

  251. that the Scriptures make.

  252. It is made

  253. on the authority

  254. of the Word of God.

  255. The Christian husband

  256. is responsible

  257. for his wife's

  258. spiritual growth.

  259. If the idea

  260. was unusual

  261. in the ancient world,

  262. let me tell you,

  263. it's unusual

  264. in the modern world

  265. as well.

  266. I wouldn't deny

  267. that there are men

  268. who probably

  269. have some idea

  270. that they have

  271. some responsibility,

  272. but when it really

  273. comes down

  274. to the practice,

  275. I don't see much

  276. of it.

  277. My experiences

  278. in premarital counseling,

  279. in being involved

  280. in marital counseling

  281. and just general ministry

  282. for over 30 years

  283. do not,

  284. by any stretch

  285. of the imagination,

  286. provide a final authority

  287. on the subject.

  288. One of the things

  289. I did this week

  290. was I checked

  291. with Amazon.

  292. I mean,

  293. that's the final authority

  294. after all.

  295. And I went to Amazon

  296. and I checked

  297. on how many books

  298. have been printed

  299. or have been authored

  300. by Christian authors

  301. about parenting.

  302. And can I tell you

  303. that, you know,

  304. on the little scroll

  305. down at the bottom

  306. it says,

  307. one, two, three,

  308. dot, dot, dot,

  309. and you know

  310. how it goes on?

  311. I got the read

  312. from that

  313. and I just kind of

  314. paged down,

  315. and you know

  316. how it is.

  317. I had a couple

  318. extra minutes

  319. and so I thought,

  320. wow, there are people

  321. that are cranking out books

  322. on how to be a good mommy

  323. and a daddy

  324. by the bunches.

  325. And a lot of women

  326. have done a reasonably

  327. decent job

  328. about writing

  329. how to be a good

  330. godly wife.

  331. Can I tell you

  332. that the number

  333. of books

  334. that are written

  335. about being

  336. a godly husband,

  337. in particular,

  338. in relationship,

  339. now track this,

  340. to being the spiritual

  341. leader of the home,

  342. are not very many.

  343. In my Sunday school class

  344. several weeks ago,

  345. I asked the question,

  346. we have a well-informed

  347. body of believers

  348. for the most part.

  349. I probably nag you

  350. incessantly about

  351. what does the Bible teach,

  352. you know,

  353. but for the most part,

  354. pretty reasonably

  355. informed scripturally.

  356. And I remember asking

  357. the question

  358. in my Sunday school class,

  359. how many of you men

  360. in here

  361. were trained explicitly,

  362. you grew up

  363. in a Christian home,

  364. I said,

  365. how many of you did?

  366. The majority of the guys

  367. in the class

  368. grew up in a Christian home.

  369. How many of you men

  370. were trained explicitly

  371. at the responsibilities

  372. of being the spiritual head

  373. and leader of your home,

  374. not a one of the men

  375. raised their hand,

  376. oh yeah,

  377. my dad worked at that.

  378. So I want you

  379. to understand that

  380. while we've heard,

  381. I'm not going to preach

  382. a passage that you guys

  383. have heard

  384. for the first time

  385. this morning.

  386. You've heard it many times.

  387. But I want you

  388. to understand that

  389. it is not a passage

  390. that is applied

  391. or practiced.

  392. And God has a clear word

  393. for us.

  394. So let's take up

  395. the text

  396. and mark what it says

  397. as I did in reading

  398. that in verse 25

  399. it says,

  400. husbands,

  401. love your wives.

  402. Oh yeah,

  403. right,

  404. I do.

  405. So,

  406. well,

  407. do it like Jesus.

  408. Oh.

  409. And Jesus in His love

  410. for His wife,

  411. He was willing,

  412. as it says there,

  413. to give Himself

  414. for her.

  415. And so what I would like

  416. us to do this morning

  417. is understand

  418. the broad flow

  419. of what Christ's model

  420. in love looks like.

  421. I mean,

  422. when the Bible says,

  423. husbands,

  424. love your wives

  425. like Jesus did,

  426. if you're sitting there

  427. and thinking that

  428. Jesus is like the neighbor

  429. next door,

  430. you're thinking,

  431. well,

  432. I'm doing what He's doing.

  433. In fact,

  434. maybe I'm a little upstep

  435. on Him.

  436. I'm better.

  437. Love your wife like,

  438. we better know

  439. what Jesus' love

  440. is like.

  441. So I want you to understand

  442. that Christ's love

  443. for the church

  444. meant,

  445. as we see in verse 25,

  446. that He was willing

  447. to die in her place.

  448. He was willing

  449. to die in her place.

  450. He was willing

  451. to take the wrath of God

  452. and suffer the punishment

  453. that we deserve

  454. so that our defiled

  455. and filthy lives

  456. can be covered

  457. and made clean

  458. with His blood.

  459. Man,

  460. we are blessed

  461. beyond our imagination

  462. at the love of Christ

  463. that was willing

  464. to die

  465. for our sins.

  466. His love also

  467. means,

  468. as we find in the text,

  469. that He set her apart

  470. for a special purpose.

  471. I like the passage

  472. that John read earlier

  473. where Jesus,

  474. in His high priestly

  475. prayer,

  476. He commented

  477. on the fact

  478. that I sanctify myself

  479. so that she might

  480. be sanctified.

  481. He was willing

  482. to take upon Himself

  483. a special purpose

  484. for the sake

  485. of the one

  486. that He loved

  487. to make her special.

  488. I want you to understand

  489. that to sanctify something

  490. is to take something

  491. that in Scripture

  492. is really pretty common

  493. and ordinary

  494. and to set it apart,

  495. particularly in the context

  496. of the Bible,

  497. for God's glory

  498. and for His purposes.

  499. So,

  500. Christ's goal

  501. in dying for the church,

  502. in addition to our salvation,

  503. was to make us special

  504. for the sake of God,

  505. to make us valuable

  506. to the one that He

  507. so dearly loves.

  508. And He did this

  509. with His own blood.

  510. Now,

  511. in verse 26,

  512. it says that He,

  513. let me read the passage,

  514. He might sanctify,

  515. having cleansed her

  516. by the washing of water

  517. with the Word.

  518. And let me just kind of

  519. give you the short story

  520. on this one.

  521. There are some

  522. who look at this

  523. and believe that it means

  524. baptism.

  525. I don't buy that at all.

  526. And for several

  527. different reasons.

  528. For one,

  529. I do not find in Scripture

  530. that baptism

  531. is something

  532. that precedes conversion.

  533. I had an individual

  534. not long ago

  535. who said,

  536. would you baptize me?

  537. I said,

  538. absolutely.

  539. Once you know Christ.

  540. This morning,

  541. after our sermon,

  542. we are going to have

  543. the privilege

  544. of hearing one young lady

  545. share her testimony

  546. of faith

  547. and then following that,

  548. I'm going to baptize her.

  549. It would be my privilege.

  550. Her family is down here

  551. somewhere near the front,

  552. I think.

  553. But that baptism

  554. in the Scripture

  555. follows.

  556. It's like putting on

  557. a wedding ring.

  558. It's a declaration.

  559. Hey,

  560. I know Jesus!

  561. It's what it is.

  562. And I want you

  563. to understand

  564. that when it says here

  565. the washing of the water

  566. by the Word,

  567. I believe what it's saying

  568. there is that

  569. the way in which

  570. people come to Christ

  571. is through the ministry

  572. of the Word of God.

  573. How shall they hear?

  574. Paul asks

  575. in Romans chapter 8

    Romans 8 chapter mention

  576. unless,

  577. actually it's 10,

  578. how shall they hear

  579. unless someone is sent?

  580. How beautiful

  581. are the feet?

  582. The fact of the matter

  583. is that our understanding

  584. of the depravity

  585. of our heart

  586. and the desperate condition

  587. of our soul

  588. takes place

  589. through the preaching

  590. of the Word of God,

  591. through the announcing,

  592. here's what God says

  593. about your condition

  594. and here is the solution

  595. in the blood of Christ

  596. that's been shed for you.

  597. to summarize then

  598. what we see

  599. in the Scripture

  600. here in this passage

  601. that he died

  602. for the church

  603. to save her

  604. and to sanctify her.

  605. Now woven into the text,

  606. I believe in verse 25

  607. and 26 in particular

  608. is the idea

  609. that his work

  610. of sanctification

  611. in part

  612. is positional.

  613. There is a sense

  614. in which you and I

  615. are never going to be

  616. any holier

  617. than we are

  618. by virtue

  619. of the blood of Christ.

  620. Do you understand that?

  621. We are declared,

  622. we have,

  623. get fancy here

  624. with words,

  625. but we are given

  626. the righteousness

  627. of Christ

  628. and it is attached

  629. to our account.

  630. Do we earn it?

  631. No,

  632. we receive it

  633. by faith

  634. and so there is

  635. a sense in which

  636. his salvation

  637. sets us apart

  638. from the moment

  639. of our salvation

  640. and puts us

  641. into this relationship

  642. and puts us

  643. into this state.

  644. I do want you

  645. to understand,

  646. however,

  647. that his salvation

  648. also does a work

  649. of sanctification

  650. that is progressive.

  651. In other words,

  652. it continues

  653. to move us forward

  654. in spiritual development.

  655. I love,

  656. I love,

  657. I love

  658. being able

  659. to say to people

  660. when I'm sharing

  661. the gospel,

  662. I've got incredibly

  663. good news for you

  664. after I've announced

  665. the fact

  666. that they are condemned

  667. in the eyes of God

  668. for their own sin.

  669. I say,

  670. good news,

  671. Jesus died

  672. to pay the penalty

  673. for your sins

  674. and he is ready

  675. to forgive you

  676. for all of it.

  677. And then I like

  678. saying this,

  679. and by the way,

  680. you don't have to

  681. stay the way you are.

  682. I love that!

  683. And the scriptures

  684. make it clear

  685. that one of the marks

  686. of genuine conversion

  687. is that we stop

  688. the way we used to be

  689. and we begin changing

  690. to be more like Jesus.

  691. Isn't that right?

  692. One of the things

  693. that I did this week

  694. as I was studying

  695. and praying for you,

  696. I was reviewing my heart,

  697. the lives of a number

  698. of you who I have known

  699. as a pastor

  700. and as a shepherd

  701. and one of the things

  702. that I took comfort

  703. and encouragement

  704. was saying,

  705. man,

  706. I've seen that change.

  707. I like that.

  708. That makes sense,

  709. doesn't it?

  710. I think about the passage

  711. over in Philippians 2,

    Philippians 2:12

  712. verse 12 and 13

  713. where Paul says,

  714. work out your salvation

  715. with fear and trembling

  716. for it's God.

  717. What?

  718. What?

  719. It's God that works in you

  720. both to will.

  721. Do you know what changed

  722. my want to?

  723. It was Jesus.

  724. Both to will

  725. and do His good pleasure.

  726. If you're sitting here

  727. and there hasn't been

  728. some touch to your will

  729. and your doing,

  730. you probably ought to

  731. roll out the birth certificate

  732. and double check.

  733. Whoa, do I really know Jesus?

  734. Because genuine conversion

  735. brings a change.

  736. And it's important

  737. that we understand

  738. here at the beginning

  739. that Christ's work,

  740. yes, it saves,

  741. but it also brings about

  742. progressive sanctification.

  743. So, with that as background,

  744. and I'm kind of pressing together

  745. verses 25, 26,

  746. and a little bit 27, okay?

  747. Make holy and without blemish.

  748. I want you to go now

  749. to 28.

  750. And in 28,

  751. the apostle is just kind of

  752. giving us some understanding,

  753. some application,

  754. moving it forward

  755. so we can make the connection

  756. for the real zinger.

  757. Do you know what

  758. a real zinger is?

  759. It's a fast hardball

  760. driven by the batter

  761. right at the pitcher.

  762. So, they're starting to wear

  763. these dorky helmets.

  764. Do you follow that?

  765. I mean, they're not going

  766. to wear them, trust me.

  767. But anyway, here we go.

  768. Let's look at the verse.

  769. In the same way,

  770. what's that saying?

  771. That's saying,

  772. hey, Bubba,

  773. since you said I do,

  774. you took on some responsibility

  775. here, guy.

  776. In the same way,

  777. like Jesus,

  778. husbands should love their wives

  779. as their own bodies.

  780. He who loves his wife

  781. loves himself.

  782. For no one ever hated

  783. his flesh,

  784. but nourishes and cherishes it

  785. just as Christ

  786. does the church.

  787. Now,

  788. woven into this whole thing

  789. is the idea

  790. that a Christian husband,

  791. I'm not talking to people here

  792. that don't know Christ.

  793. I want you to know that.

  794. This sermon is not

  795. for any man

  796. who is here

  797. who doesn't know Jesus.

  798. It just doesn't work.

  799. First thing is,

  800. come to Christ.

  801. Not that I'm dismissing

  802. the evangelical call

  803. to a person's salvation,

  804. but this is for Christians.

  805. And by the way,

  806. it's for Christians

  807. who are filled with the Spirit.

  808. Do you get that?

  809. That's Ephesians 5.18.

  810. Okay.

  811. So let's understand

  812. Christ's model.

  813. Let's fit it in.

  814. Verse 28 announces,

  815. love your wives like Jesus.

  816. That's in essence

  817. what it's being said.

  818. Follows along,

  819. and we find in the passage,

  820. care for your wife

  821. like Jesus cares

  822. for his own body.

  823. It's very interesting.

  824. The Holy Spirit

  825. puts a great deal of emphasis

  826. on this in verse 28 and 29

  827. so as to dispel

  828. the husband's natural tendency

  829. of being self-deceived.

  830. What do we mean by that?

  831. You ask the average husband

  832. in a Christian circle,

  833. do you love your wife?

  834. What is the Bible answer

  835. supposed to be?

  836. Yeah.

  837. Duh.

  838. I hired on for that job.

  839. Yeah, I love her.

  840. Do you really?

  841. And what I want you to do

  842. is ask yourself this question.

  843. I want you to be honest

  844. with the Lord.

  845. Do you love your wife

  846. like Christ loved the church?

  847. Question.

  848. The answer,

  849. Christian man,

  850. is found in whether or not

  851. you fit this model

  852. that we have in this passage.

  853. Does that make sense?

  854. That's what we're reading,

  855. and that's what we're discovering.

  856. Do I love my wife

  857. like Christ loved the church?

  858. And so we understand

  859. that caring for your wife

  860. is like Jesus cares

  861. for his own body,

  862. and he uses an analogy

  863. from human life

  864. that we all understand.

  865. Look at that just for a little bit.

  866. In the passage,

  867. it says that,

  868. sorry,

  869. it says that a man

  870. should love his wife

  871. as his own body,

  872. and by the way,

  873. when you're cold,

  874. what do you do,

  875. man?

  876. We have two choices.

  877. We either turn the thermostat up,

  878. and your wife says,

  879. oh, it's awful hot in here,

  880. you know,

  881. but we either turn the thermostat up,

  882. or what do we do?

  883. We go get more clothes.

  884. Am I right?

  885. We're hard.

  886. When you're hungry,

  887. what do you do, guys?

  888. I don't love my body.

  889. You know,

  890. just suffer.

  891. I'm not eating.

  892. I don't love my body.

  893. No,

  894. we take care of ourselves,

  895. right?

  896. Now,

  897. kind of stretch this out a little bit.

  898. I want you to understand

  899. that loving your wife properly

  900. is reasonable and rewarding,

  901. and when you take care of your wife,

  902. like you take care of your own body,

  903. you're paying attention

  904. to the things that are,

  905. and follow this,

  906. because this is tricky,

  907. the most important,

  908. okay?

  909. It says here,

  910. he who loves his wife

  911. loves himself.

  912. Now,

  913. let me take a little bit

  914. on this.

  915. This passage,

  916. because one of the things

  917. I have,

  918. now,

  919. do you know what it means

  920. to go apoplectic?

  921. No,

  922. you don't.

  923. It means to get really

  924. kind of irritated.

  925. Now,

  926. pastors aren't supposed

  927. to do that.

  928. You follow that?

  929. I mean,

  930. pastors are supposed

  931. to be very calm

  932. and kind of,

  933. you know,

  934. naturally sweet people.

  935. That's not me,

  936. but I'm trying.

  937. I'm working at it.

  938. So,

  939. when I have people

  940. in my office

  941. and I say,

  942. so what's your problem?

  943. And they say to me,

  944. well,

  945. I don't love myself.

  946. I say,

  947. what?

  948. Where did that come from?

  949. I really don't get that animated,

  950. but,

  951. you know,

  952. and the truth of the matter is

  953. I've never had a person

  954. in my office

  955. that wasn't room temperature.

  956. How many of you understand

  957. what room temperature means?

  958. Dead.

  959. I have never had anybody

  960. in my office

  961. that wasn't room temperature

  962. that really didn't love themselves.

  963. Paul is using a comparison.

  964. He's saying,

  965. guys,

  966. you're on it

  967. when it comes to

  968. taking care of yourself,

  969. right?

  970. What's the difference

  971. between a man and a boy?

  972. You know that answer?

  973. Price of his

  974. toys.

  975. You knew that?

  976. Guys,

  977. take care of your wives

  978. the way you take care of yourself.

  979. And he says,

  980. in verse 29,

  981. he says,

  982. for no one ever

  983. hated his own flesh.

  984. I mean,

  985. you hit your thumb

  986. with a hammer,

  987. what do you do?

  988. I mean,

  989. everything in life

  990. comes down to this

  991. little index

  992. or digit right there

  993. and there you are.

  994. Honey,

  995. I hurt myself.

  996. So,

  997. I want you to understand

  998. that

  999. the practical part

  1000. of what Jesus

  1001. is saying here

  1002. and the Spirit

  1003. is saying is

  1004. when you give yourself

  1005. away for Christ,

  1006. you're blessed by Christ.

  1007. That's what it means

  1008. when it says,

  1009. husbands,

  1010. if you love yourself,

  1011. you're loving your wife.

  1012. It works out

  1013. that giving your love away

  1014. brings back benefit.

  1015. Now,

  1016. I want us to really focus

  1017. on how Christ loves

  1018. and a husband should love.

  1019. And so,

  1020. we come down

  1021. to verse 29

  1022. and this is

  1023. very,

  1024. very important.

  1025. How Christ loves

  1026. and a husband should love

  1027. really is focused in

  1028. on these two words,

  1029. to nourish

  1030. and to cherish.

  1031. Actually,

  1032. a more accurate

  1033. translation of the text

  1034. would be to say

  1035. bring up.

  1036. The Greek word,

  1037. I'll give the Greek

  1038. here to you,

  1039. but the Greek word

  1040. is only used twice

  1041. in the New Testament.

  1042. It's actually used

  1043. a number of different times

  1044. where the Greeks

  1045. translated the Hebrew

  1046. Old Testament

  1047. into Greek.

  1048. I'll get bored with that,

  1049. but the word

  1050. appears often

  1051. in the Old Testament

  1052. in the Greek rendition.

  1053. And it's a word

  1054. that speaks about

  1055. nurturing someone

  1056. on an upward path.

  1057. Okay?

  1058. That's the reason

  1059. in Ephesians chapter 6,

    Ephesians 6 chapter mention

  1060. 4,

  1061. it says that fathers

  1062. are to bring up

  1063. their children.

  1064. Now,

  1065. husband,

  1066. if you're hearing

  1067. from the Spirit of God

  1068. this morning,

  1069. what it's saying

  1070. is that as you're

  1071. driving home,

  1072. don't say to your wife,

  1073. hey,

  1074. I'm in this

  1075. to help you grow,

  1076. but think it.

  1077. In fact,

  1078. if you have the nerve,

  1079. go ahead and say it.

  1080. Here's what the Bible

  1081. is driving the point

  1082. towards.

  1083. The Christian husband

  1084. nurtures

  1085. when he cares

  1086. for the spiritual development

  1087. of his wife.

  1088. That's your job.

  1089. He has implemented

  1090. divine order

  1091. and he has charged

  1092. the man

  1093. with being

  1094. the spiritual head

  1095. of his home

  1096. and he is responsible

  1097. for the spiritual leadership

  1098. of the home

  1099. and the wife

  1100. that he gives,

  1101. that man.

  1102. The wife's principle

  1103. spiritual encouragement

  1104. and enrichment

  1105. should come first

  1106. and foremost

  1107. from her husband.

  1108. A pastor

  1109. should be a helper.

  1110. A godly woman

  1111. should be a helper.

  1112. And I've been here

  1113. long enough

  1114. that when women

  1115. in our church

  1116. call me

  1117. and ask me an opinion,

  1118. guess what I often do?

  1119. That first question is,

  1120. so,

  1121. have you talked

  1122. with your husband?

  1123. What are his thoughts?

  1124. I want to encourage

  1125. that mindset

  1126. which is biblical.

  1127. biblical.

  1128. I want you to understand

  1129. as you look

  1130. at this passage

  1131. that it is not

  1132. an exception

  1133. to a Bible rule.

  1134. There are two different

  1135. things that I bring

  1136. to your attention

  1137. that make it clear

  1138. in God's economy

  1139. and God's thinking

  1140. that the husband

  1141. is to be the spiritual

  1142. developer

  1143. of his wife.

  1144. Two passages

  1145. come to mind.

  1146. One is in Genesis

    Genesis 2 chapter mention

  1147. chapter 2

  1148. where God

  1149. gave to Adam

  1150. instruction

  1151. that was literally

  1152. spiritual death

  1153. or life.

  1154. How many of you

  1155. are aware of that?

  1156. Eve was the one

  1157. who sinned

  1158. as it says

  1159. but Adam was the one

  1160. who received

  1161. the instruction

  1162. when God said

  1163. to Adam,

  1164. listen,

  1165. y'all don't be

  1166. eaten of that tree.

  1167. I mean,

  1168. he made the point,

  1169. don't do this.

  1170. Who did he tell?

  1171. He told Adam.

  1172. And when sin

  1173. came into the garden,

  1174. who did God address?

  1175. He addressed Adam.

  1176. There's another passage

  1177. I want you to take

  1178. a look at

  1179. just for a moment.

  1180. Turn over in your Bible

  1181. to 1 Corinthians

    1 Corinthians 14:35

  1182. chapter 14

  1183. verse 35.

  1184. Now,

  1185. by the way,

  1186. hey,

  1187. everybody look up.

  1188. I'm just the mailman.

  1189. How many of you

  1190. understand what I just said?

  1191. What's my job?

  1192. Deliver the mail.

  1193. If it gets put

  1194. in your box,

  1195. somebody else sent it.

  1196. 1 Corinthians 14

  1197. 35,

  1198. look at the passage.

  1199. It says,

  1200. if there's anything

  1201. they desire to learn,

  1202. let them ask their husbands

  1203. where?

  1204. At home.

  1205. For it's shameful

  1206. for a woman

  1207. to speak in the church.

  1208. Now,

  1209. I believe that has

  1210. application in particular,

  1211. and we find other passages

  1212. in relationship

  1213. that's over in

  1214. 1 Timothy chapter 2,

    1 Timothy 2 chapter mention

  1215. but I believe

  1216. that the particular

  1217. application is

  1218. characteristic

  1219. of the learning

  1220. style and structure

  1221. that took place

  1222. in the church.

  1223. And a lot

  1224. of the teaching

  1225. methodology

  1226. was more interaction,

  1227. Q&A,

  1228. and challenging.

  1229. Oh, yeah?

  1230. Where did you get

  1231. that idea from?

  1232. You know,

  1233. there's a pastor

  1234. up there teaching,

  1235. and, you know,

  1236. a woman raises her hand

  1237. in the church

  1238. and says,

  1239. hey,

  1240. where did you?

  1241. And Paul,

  1242. and by the way,

  1243. who told Paul

  1244. what to write?

  1245. Does anybody know?

  1246. Was it his culture

  1247. or was it the Holy Spirit?

  1248. What's the answer?

  1249. It was the Holy Spirit

  1250. that said,

  1251. hey,

  1252. you have a question,

  1253. ask your husband.

  1254. And by the way,

  1255. a lot of husbands,

  1256. including back then,

  1257. they'd come from

  1258. pagan backgrounds,

  1259. so when the husband

  1260. was asked the question

  1261. at home,

  1262. guess what he had to say?

  1263. Same thing that probably

  1264. some of you should be saying,

  1265. well,

  1266. let me do some research,

  1267. I'll get back to you.

  1268. I can tell you,

  1269. a lot of times

  1270. I don't have answers,

  1271. but I do know

  1272. the resource

  1273. to try to lie on.

  1274. And so,

  1275. here we have

  1276. the apostle saying,

  1277. hey, listen,

  1278. the husband is responsible

  1279. for the spiritual development

  1280. of his wife.

  1281. The second word

  1282. that is used there

  1283. says that he is

  1284. to cherish.

  1285. And that is

  1286. a very interesting word

  1287. that we probably

  1288. benefit from

  1289. just understanding.

  1290. It means to really,

  1291. to be affectionate

  1292. of her.

  1293. Can I say that again

  1294. slowly?

  1295. I just want the men

  1296. to look up.

  1297. Just the men.

  1298. To be affectionate

  1299. of her.

  1300. Well, I'm not really

  1301. into affection.

  1302. I'm not into

  1303. the warm fuzzies.

  1304. I want you to turn over.

  1305. Remember,

  1306. I'm delivering the mail.

  1307. That's what we're doing here.

  1308. 1 Thessalonians 2,

    1 Thessalonians 2:7

  1309. verse 7.

  1310. Actually,

  1311. this word cherish

  1312. that we find

  1313. in Ephesians 5,

  1314. 29,

  1315. appears one other time

  1316. in 1 Thessalonians 2,

    1 Thessalonians 2:7

  1317. verse 7,

  1318. where it says this,

  1319. Paul,

  1320. we were gentle

  1321. among you

  1322. like a nursing mother

  1323. taking care

  1324. of her own child.

  1325. Do you have any idea

  1326. what a nursing mother

  1327. is like?

  1328. Like,

  1329. they're all over it

  1330. when it comes

  1331. to that little child.

  1332. Am I right?

  1333. And having watched

  1334. my wife care

  1335. for four of our children

  1336. and nurse all four of them,

  1337. and I don't say that

  1338. because I'm a member

  1339. of La Leche League.

  1340. I just happened to say it.

  1341. But here's the deal.

  1342. I mean,

  1343. now I'll tell you,

  1344. cleaning bottoms,

  1345. that's one thing,

  1346. but nursing,

  1347. I mean,

  1348. that was a moment.

  1349. She had to have

  1350. a special place.

  1351. There's a lot

  1352. that went into that.

  1353. And she just loved,

  1354. loved, loved, loved,

  1355. loved that child.

  1356. Paul says,

  1357. hey, husbands,

  1358. you're responsible

  1359. for the spiritual upgrade

  1360. of your wife's life,

  1361. and you're responsible

  1362. to be affectionate,

  1363. to be,

  1364. man,

  1365. you're to wrap up in her.

  1366. I know one young man said,

  1367. well,

  1368. I'm afraid I love my wife

  1369. too much.

  1370. What?

  1371. How close are you

  1372. to doing it

  1373. like Jesus does?

  1374. Well,

  1375. I'm not there.

  1376. It's all right.

  1377. You've got room to go.

  1378. Go for it.

  1379. Okay?

  1380. Paul says,

  1381. look at the passage,

  1382. a husband is to care

  1383. for his wife tenderly.

  1384. So,

  1385. and I'll close with this,

  1386. if you're a Christian

  1387. husband today,

  1388. and the Holy Spirit

  1389. is speaking to your heart,

  1390. you understand that

  1391. he is not asking you

  1392. if you'd like to do this.

  1393. This is not a suggestion.

  1394. It's a command.

  1395. And it is one

  1396. that I find profoundly humbling

  1397. and drives me to prayer.

  1398. I,

  1399. Tim Kenoyer,

  1400. am responsible

  1401. for my bride's

  1402. ongoing

  1403. sanctification.

  1404. You,

  1405. husband,

  1406. are responsible

  1407. for your wife's

  1408. ongoing

  1409. sanctification.

  1410. salvation.

  1411. And all God's people

  1412. said,

  1413. amen.

  1414. Let's enjoy

  1415. our baptism.

  1416. And John,

  1417. come and lead.

  1418. Amen.