Sermon

A Godly Father's Charge

Maranatha Baptist Church of Columbus, OH - Latest Messages

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  1. Let me at the beginning here, first of all, just thank the Massaro small group for their

  2. ! willingness to do that memory work. We have been blessed in our series through the book of Ephesians

  3. ! with one person and group after another reciting various chapters of the book of Ephesians. It's

  4. been our blessing, hasn't it? The wide diversity of individuals that have been willing to kind of

  5. step up and do that very difficult, hard thing. I do want you to know that we are looking for one

  6. more person, couple, group, family, whatever, to tackle Ephesians chapter 4. That is the only one

    Ephesians 4 chapter mention

  7. remaining in the current iteration, and I am...and you have Ephesians 4. Is it three that I'm looking

  8. for? Well, it's my first mistake of the day. Okay. I'll try it this way. I need one other person,

  9. family, etc., to volunteer to do whatever chapter I haven't decided needs to be done. Yes! But thank

  10. you, Tom. It has been a great blessing, and so I need one other person, group, etc., to tackle that.

  11. Second thing, we are taking care of some preliminaries. This is...I'm going to preach this

  12. morning from Ephesians chapter 6 verse 4, which is God's explicit instruction to those who are fathers

    Ephesians 6:4

  13. that says, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and

  14. admonition of the Lord. That being said, from the text, this book is an excellent, excellent, excellent

  15. book. You want the title? What every man wishes his father had told him by Byron Forrest Yon.

  16. What every man wishes his father had told him by Byron Forrest Yon. Okay? And I would encourage you

  17. strongly to get the copy and read it and take it to heart. This copy belongs to Tim Bauer, and I want to

  18. be sure that you get it right there. Yeah. Or what every woman wishes her mother? Father. Okay. Have you

  19. started on that one yet? I have a copy of that one as well, but I will tell you, listen, what's it say in

  20. Ecclesiastes of the making of books there is no end? Something like that? This is a good book, and it's a

  21. good book with broad application. You know, there are some times that I recommend in my earlier life when I

  22. was younger, I used to recommend some books that most everybody else said, yeah, I'm glad you're a

  23. person. I'm glad you're a good book. I'm glad you're a good book. I'm glad you're a good book.

  24. You know, but this is an excellent book. You'll be blessed by it. Now, take your Bibles and open in that book.

  25. And go to Ephesians chapter 6 verse 4.

    Ephesians 6:4

  26. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction

  27. of the Lord. Let's pray.

  28. Father God, this morning as we take the Word in hand, we're reminded that

  29. that your Word is a lamp and a light, that your Word is settled in the heavens,

  30. that your Word is the express declaration of your purpose and your will, and that it is the means

  31. whereby your children may receive abundant blessings. We also understand, Lord, that

  32. the comprehension and apprehension, the process of taking the Word and letting it sink into our life

  33. and then letting it produce behavior that brings glory to Christ is not something that happens

  34. just because we decide we're going to think about it for a while, but it happens because of the work

  35. of the Spirit of God. Now, we want to be yielded to you. We recognize that you have things to say that are

  36. supremely important, and we need to hear it.

  37. And I pray, Father, this morning that as the Word is being preached, that your Spirit would drive it

  38. firmly home in the hearts of all of those who are men and fathers today.

  39. And those that are sitting here, perhaps, that do not know Christ, even as they listen to the wisdom

  40. that you have for fathers, practical as it is, that your Spirit would be drawing them to recognize

  41. the desperate condition of their soul, and they would call out upon the name of the Lord Jesus and be saved.

  42. And we ask this in Jesus' name and for His glory. Amen.

  43. Amen. It's kind of interesting that I would begin by recommending a book.

  44. And it's a good book, but I want to tell you that that book is nothing compared to this one.

  45. And this book gives us 20 short words that are absolutely at the heart of what it takes to be a godly father.

  46. You get these 20 words right, you don't need forest yawn.

  47. Now, am I saying that you wouldn't benefit?

  48. In the multitude of counselors, there is safety, as the Proverbs recite.

  49. There is benefit in hearing what God is doing in other people's lives.

  50. But let me make this clear.

  51. Get these 20 first and let them be etched upon your heart.

  52. They are critical.

  53. They're essential.

  54. They're foundational.

  55. And I want you to understand this morning that God is speaking explicitly and pointedly

  56. to every one of you who are fathers here today.

  57. Every one of you.

  58. So let me begin by making the point as we look at the passage.

  59. Dad, God's talking to you.

  60. He's talking to you.

  61. And I want you to understand, as I have often said,

  62. that really the heart of preaching is making God's Word clear

  63. and putting people on the spot of saying yes or no to God.

  64. At the end, when you walk out of here, one of the things that I trust has taken place

  65. is that the Spirit of God has taken the Word of God

  66. and He's driven it clearly into the hearts of you who are men

  67. and you are saying, yes, God, by your power and through the work of the Spirit of God,

  68. I will do these things.

  69. And when it's settled and it's done and my day comes to an end

  70. and my life comes to a conclusion,

  71. I want it to be said I did not do the things I shouldn't

  72. and I, by your Spirit, did what I've been called to do.

  73. So, in one sense, if I am faithful to my calling,

  74. as you who are fathers are driving home,

  75. your interested wife could kind of touch your shoulder or whatever

  76. and say, honey, so what are you going to do?

  77. And what you ought to say, as a man who has been convicted by the Spirit of God

  78. and prompted by the clarity of the Word of God,

  79. you say, hey, I got it, I got it, I am not going to provoke

  80. and I will bring my children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

  81. And from the back seat, some of you kids, go ahead,

  82. you can say, hey, Daddy, what are you going to do?

  83. And Dad should say, I'm glad you asked.

  84. I want you to know I was listening, I even was taking notes,

  85. and I'm not going to provoke.

  86. And I'm going to bring you up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.

  87. A little note to sell for you who are women, ladies in particular,

  88. probably before you ask him that question,

  89. you probably ought to kiss him on the lips and blow in his ear

  90. and run your fingers through his hair and say,

  91. honey, by the way, Pastor coached me.

  92. I wouldn't be doing this otherwise, right?

  93. But, hey, what are you going to do?

  94. I mean, you know, hey, guys, get to it.

  95. And so if she misses the boat and she misses it,

  96. get her the CD, you know, make her listen to this and say,

  97. hey, get with me, help me here.

  98. Now let's get to the point.

  99. What we find here in this passage in Ephesians 6, verse 4,

    Ephesians 6:4

  100. is God giving fathers an explicit command.

  101. And words are important.

  102. And the word that is used here in verse 4 is different than the one that is used in verse 1.

  103. I want you to look back just for a moment.

  104. It says, children, obey your what?

  105. Parents.

  106. Parents.

  107. Now parents generally, what we're talking about when we talk about parents?

  108. We're talking about a daddy and a mommy.

  109. We're talking about both parties in this process.

  110. But in this case, the Scriptures explicitly speak to fathers.

  111. And I want you to understand that while mothers play a very important role in the lives of children,

  112. she is not the one that God holds responsible first.

  113. She is not the one that God looks to first.

  114. The first responsibility for what happens in the lives of children in a Christian home falls on the Father.

  115. By the way, I was thinking earlier this week as I was studying about the process whereby,

  116. where Moses, towards the end of his ministry, he recited the law to the nation of Israel.

  117. And one of the things that they would do is he would say,

  118. cursed is the man that does blah, blah, blah.

  119. And then guess what people would say at the end of that?

  120. What would they say?

  121. It was a Baptist amen.

  122. Okay?

  123. By Baptists.

  124. I mean, Baptists are very reserved and hold those in abeyance.

  125. You know, it's like we don't say amen very often.

  126. But what, do you know what amen means, by the way?

  127. It means what?

  128. Right on.

  129. That's what it means.

  130. Yeah!

  131. That's it.

  132. And so we're looking at this passage, and I want you to understand that God is speaking,

  133. and He's saying, dads, fathers, this is your responsibility.

  134. And all the men in the congregation that are fathers said,

  135. right on!

  136. That's me!

  137. I hear it!

  138. I got it!

  139. It's for me.

  140. So to put it bluntly, God says, Christian dad, you're the one who is first responsible for

  141. your child's upbringing.

  142. That means that the Christian father cannot be passive, wussy.

  143. He is going to be called to account, and he will not be able to say, well, I want you

  144. to understand that I was out there banging the door, making it work, and doing my responsibilities.

  145. I will never forget.

  146. A number of years ago, I was in a funeral home, and I knew the family moderately well,

  147. relatively new.

  148. This was my first ministry, and I went to this calling hours, and here is this dear lady lying

  149. in the casket.

  150. She was a godly, wonderful woman, and the husband was standing there doing the thing

  151. that normally goes along, and he says, I want you to know that my wife was responsible

  152. for the spiritual well-being of our home.

  153. Now, what's a pastor supposed to say in a moment like that?

  154. I did my best to act like, yeah, right.

  155. But I thought to myself later on, let me tell you something.

  156. At the end of the day, God expects men to be the spiritual leaders in their home, and He

  157. expects you, fathers, to be the one who care for the well-being of your home.

  158. While there are certain other expectations that fathers are given by God, such as, it

  159. says in 1 Timothy that a man that does not provide for his household is what?

  160. Worse than an infidel.

  161. God expects a father to be the one that provides for his family.

  162. But I want you to understand that in this passage in Ephesians, it is quite evident that Paul

  163. the apostle, as he knew what was going on in the church, he recognized we've got a bigger,

  164. a more significant problem, a greater challenge to the well-being of the bride of Christ than

  165. daddies who aren't showing up and doing their work.

  166. We're concerned about what's happening spiritually.

  167. And so he says, fathers, I've got some instruction for you.

  168. And so I want you to think about this, dads.

  169. You can write it on your notes.

  170. I will give an account for obeying or disobeying a direct order from God.

  171. Do you understand that?

  172. This is a direct order from God.

  173. He is saying to you as a father, here's what I expect.

  174. 20 words, not much.

  175. So let's look at it particularly.

  176. Number one, don't provoke.

  177. We're given a negative command first.

  178. And provocation must have been enough of a problem that Paul recognized that something

  179. need be said about it.

  180. And in the ancient world, I want you to understand that provocation and cruelty was the norm.

  181. You didn't have the children's services or anything like that to call on neighbors and

  182. say, I think so-and-so is being unkind to his children.

  183. In fact, in the ancient world, particularly in the Roman world, the father was the absolute

  184. final authority.

  185. When a child was born, that child was laid at the father's feet.

  186. And if the child picked it up, or if the father picked the child up, that child was adopted

  187. or brought into the family and accepted as his own and had the shelter and protection

  188. of that dad.

  189. All that a father had to do was not pick that child up.

  190. And that child was then taken and placed outside and could be abandoned or left to be turned into

  191. a slave or whatever else.

  192. Did you know what the early church did?

  193. The early church went into the marketplace and picked up a lot of those babies, and the

  194. first orphanages were Christian homes.

  195. And in the ancient world, cruelty and unkindness was normal, part of life.

  196. And so Paul says here, he says, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath.

  197. That word provoke means to stir up anger and inner resentment.

  198. And in this case, it really is something that flows out of a father's ungodly behavior and

  199. attitude.

  200. Now stop just for a moment.

  201. Could the most perfect father in the world have children that grow up angry and resentful?

  202. And the answer is yes.

  203. God the Father had offspring among whom I am one and you are one, who have had no problem

  204. with anger and difficulties associated with it.

  205. And the truth of the matter is, is that a perfect dad could create or have a child that

  206. was angry and upset.

  207. But Paul is concerned in particular that dads who are Christians, who are spirit-filled,

  208. understand that they are not to be contributors to the child's difficulty.

  209. And so mark also that the word here in the text, it says stop provoking.

  210. You know what that's saying?

  211. Dads were doing it.

  212. It was going on.

  213. So let me begin by helping you understand in the larger context of what we're looking

  214. at.

  215. Christian dads provoke children to anger most often when they're not spirit-filled.

  216. Will you not forget that?

  217. This passage is really about what spirit-filled living is.

  218. And I trust that one of the things you do when you walk out of here is that, you know,

  219. dad doesn't say to himself, I'm going to write on the chalkboard a hundred times, do not

  220. provoke your children.

  221. Do not provoke your children.

  222. No.

  223. No.

  224. The first thing that you do is say, hey, I need to be spirit-filled.

  225. I need to be spirit-filled.

  226. I need to be spirit-filled.

  227. Because if I'm spirit-filled, I will not provoke my children to wrath.

  228. Let's think here practically about some of the ways that we may provoke children to wrath.

  229. Number one, by being an angry and threatening dad.

  230. By being an angry and threatening dad.

  231. Let me read a couple passages to you.

  232. And some of you sitting here may even know some of these passages from Proverbs.

  233. So you may want to mark these down.

  234. For one, Proverbs chapter 15, verse 1 says, a harsh word stirs up anger.

    Proverbs 15:1

  235. Say that slowly.

  236. A harsh word stirs up anger.

  237. So if you are one of those bellowing, belligerent, angry, stompy, grumpy, you know, kind of attitudinal

  238. dads, sooner or later your child will kind of tire of being intimidated by your attitudes,

  239. and eventually you're going to raise a child like that.

  240. proverbs 15 or 15 1 a harsh word stirs up anger let me have you look at another one proverbs chapter

    Proverbs 29:22

  241. 29 verse 22 a man of wrath stirs up strife and one given to anger causes much transgression

  242. isn't that a good verse to memorize let me let me give you the recitation again so you can look it

  243. up on your own proverbs 29 verse 22 oh i know that verse i don't need it a man of wrath what stirs up

    Proverbs 29:22

  244. strife and one given to anger causes much transgression so as you are driving home and

  245. your wife says what are you going to do and you're going to say i'm not going to provoke

  246. i will bring them up you may also later on when the kids have dissipated you may say to your wife

  247. if you have the nerve hey honey have you ever seen me be angry

  248. it's fair question isn't it ever have you ever seen me go off on the kids

  249. so i want to say to you fathers if you are here and and the truth of matter is is that you are one of

  250. those moody grumpy loud bangy dads listen to me you may terrorize your children for a period of time

  251. but you are building a bomb and the day is coming that it'll go up to your heartache well there's

  252. another way that we can provoke our children to wrath and that has that is be by by being passive and not

  253. a spiritual leader by being passive and not a spiritual leader now by the way is it easy for a

  254. for a dad and a father and a husband to be a spiritual leader and all men in here said what

  255. what'd they say it's not very easy it really takes the holy spirit's power because by nature

  256. everybody smile so i can say it to you all know that you love me uh hey by nature men are tyrants or

  257. cowards would you agree with that and this business of being a godly humble spiritual leader

  258. we don't get naturally we need help help help help

  259. being passive and not a spiritual leader i think about jacob yes the patriarch jacob you know what kind

  260. of dad he was he was not the best model that's one of the reasons why when i read in the scripture

  261. and says the god of jacob help you i think yes i need him because i'm jacob by the way jacob remember

  262. one of the cases is his daughter diana was raped and he didn't do anything he just kind of sat around

  263. well we haven't and his sons came home and guess what they did they took it into hand and solved the

  264. problem in a very negative way and it was a mess so dad if you sit around and be a wuss i gotta guarantee

  265. you eventually it's not going to work well i think about david when he found out that incest had taken

  266. place in his home and he wasn't willing to deal with it eventually absalom railed against him third

  267. a dad may provoke his children to wrath by being an absentee

  268. it's no secret that part of the rot in israel was found where men had no faithfulness and

  269. commitment to their wife just being a sperm donor to various women is not the same as being committed

  270. to one woman and staying with her and working with the process of raising godly children it takes a lot

  271. of work playing favorites that's another specialty remember joseph by the way what did his brothers

  272. dislike about him besides the fact that he had the coat of many colors he was his daddy's favorite

  273. and we know that playing favorites is something that will get you in trouble we find it in scripture

  274. and so dad if what you want to do is you want to create heartache for your children just go ahead

  275. and play favorites and can i tell you something i was thinking about this this morning um every person's

  276. different there will never be a duplicate of any of us i mean god is infinitely creative when it comes

  277. to snowflakes and people am i right and so you are who you are and so thinking to yourself well i really

  278. like my son that is you know six nine and can slam dunk he's my money child have you ever heard the

  279. phrase money child how many of you know what a money child is a money child is the child that you're

  280. hoping will make so much money that he will buy you a house and a car and a hummer and you know money child

  281. and so you happen to love on the kid that is you know he is the future doctor in your family and

  282. what's the other one well he may be a specialist in digging ditches and you're thinking that's not my

  283. kid you know don't play favorites by the way judith and i only had four of them and i can tell you

  284. every one of them is radically different

  285. there's another way and that is neglecting discipline neglecting discipline i pity the child

  286. i really do i pity the child who has been allowed to be sassy and disrespectful to their parents

  287. i wish i could tell you that i didn't see that in our congregation but i do on occasion i'm sad

  288. when i see parents that let their children go off and nothing happens and how do i know that nothing

  289. happens everybody smile everybody look at me so you know i'm talking to you

  290. the reason kids don't put their finger in the light socket over and over again is because somehow or

  291. another there's something that takes place between action and consequences with light sockets do you

  292. understand that in a previous life that means when i was younger i used to be a wallpaper hanger i hung

  293. wallpaper and uh one of the things that goes with hanging wallpaper is that occasionally you have to cut

  294. around a an outlet you follow an outlet and if you put your razor blade too deep into the outlet get

  295. what's guess what happens does anybody else know besides me

  296. electricity courses through that wet blade and the wet handle and it gets your attention

  297. you know and one of the things that i remember on more than one occasion is saying out loud to myself

  298. that was stupid and and i'll tell you there would be there would be days that would go by where i

  299. didn't have the same experience now when i see children do the same same same over and over and over

  300. i am figuring out that somehow or another the parent who is involved directly with that child is letting

  301. them go i gotta tell you you raise an angry child when you don't help them learn that they're not the

  302. center of the universe god expects parents to be the ones who deal with misbehavior and discipline

  303. their child when they're wrong i think about that passage in first kings where it talks about one of

  304. david's sons here's what it says it says his father had never told him no

  305. now there's some of you are saying well i'd say i'm no all the time you know how it is no don't do

  306. that no don't do no no no you know i i'm not talking about just saying the word i'm saying deal with it

  307. right and all god's people said that was really encouraging we got kind of 28 participation on it

  308. an amen okay well let's go to the nowhere we're dealing with this disciplining and anger

  309. disciplining and anger

  310. can repetitious misbehavior cause parents to become angry fathers in particular

  311. is there anybody that will rave their hand at me and said i had to deal with anger in my home i had

  312. to my anger earlier in my life i have to confess that as a young father my anger got the best of me on

  313. occasion later on what i learned was helpful is that when something happened i would say to my

  314. my children my sons seemed to be the ones that really tweaked me um i would say to my sons in

  315. particular go to your room and pray about this do you know what i was doing well what was i doing

  316. i was going to the room the other room i was like oh lord please let me let me be objective here let

  317. me think let me pray just uh because being angry doesn't take a specialist do you understand that

  318. it just takes listen to me carefully takes a fool a man who cannot control himself

  319. is worse than a city without walls and if your children would admit to your anger being part of your

  320. parenting style there is a spiritual problem going on in your life and the solution for that

  321. is first of all if you're a child of god to humble yourself and confess and forsake it and ask for

  322. the spirit of god to help you if you're here and you don't know christ you need jesus because nobody

  323. but jesus can change the heart well we understand don't provoke don't provoke don't provoke don't provoke

  324. well let's talk about bring them up it says there bring them up in the discipline and instruction

  325. of the lord god gives us a positive command and god expects fathers to do this work of bringing them

  326. up and i want you to understand that bringing them up involves more than feeding them and seeing to it

  327. that they're at the bus stop at the right time the way the spirit of god puts this is that christian

  328. fathers are the ones that are primarily responsible for their children's spiritual maturity and progress

  329. christian fathers are the ones that have primary responsibility for their child's progress

  330. should your wife help of course you should she is your helper that's her her divinely appointed

  331. responsibility but at the heart of it you're the one that god expects to be the one who does the work

  332. should teachers help yes should a family youth pastor help and the answer is what yes but let me tell you

  333. the way we are hardwired in this fellowship is that at the end of the day if there's something going on

  334. guess who's going to know about it it's going to be dead it's going to be dead and the one that is

  335. principally expected to be the one that works through that challenge is not the the pastor that does the

  336. counseling or or the the youth leader that works in the situation or or the teacher or the coach it's

  337. the dad that's the one that's responsible i want you to understand that a christian father is to nurture

  338. and admonish discipline is the other word that is used here and and the two words refer to a very robust

  339. activity that is demanding and really cannot be really delegated

  340. entirely let me give you three illustrations from the bible of how this plays out for one

  341. to nurture to discipline and admonish means to live the truth and teach in the flow of life turn

  342. over in your bible to one of the critical passages on parenting in the book of deuteronomy go back to

  343. deuteronomy chapter 6 we're going to look at it and by the way let me suggest dads if you're sitting here

    Deuteronomy 6 chapter mention

  344. this morning hey listen do christian fathers need to be encouraged and dealt with in this area and

  345. what do all of us say yes yes yes one of the things that i would do is encourage you to memorize this

  346. passage in ephesians chapter 6 verse 4 20 words you can do it with your eyes closed and then if you

    Ephesians 6:4

  347. want to kind of step up the food chain go to deuteronomy chapter 6 deuteronomy chapter 6 verse 4

    Deuteronomy 6 chapter mention Deuteronomy 6:4–9

  348. through 9 here is moses making a very interesting statement to the nation of israel he says here

  349. oh israel the lord our god the lord is one in other words god's talking to you buddy he has something to

  350. say you better pay attention verse 6 it says you shall or 5 it says you shall love the lord your

  351. god with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might so where is the starting point

  352. of being an effective father where is it it's loving god it's having a right heart towards god

  353. and loving him by the way if you love him will you be one of these frumpy stompy guys that's always

  354. bellowing and acting like he's a tyrant in his home what's the answer from all of god's people

  355. no if you're full of yourself and not full of god you're going to be a little demagogue in your home

  356. and a tyrant that temporarily your children will be afraid of but eventually guess what they grow up

  357. they leave and they say i've had it with that level of anger deuteronomy says this you love the lord

  358. and then you get this word in your heart and then you are to teach them diligently to your children

  359. and you shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk in the way

  360. and when you lie down and when you rise up what's it saying listen dad the best way to teach your

  361. children is to be living it so that as life plays out

  362. you take opportunity to help them understand what life with god looks like

  363. so how do you work to nurture and admonish

  364. well one you make certain that you are living the truth and that you're teaching it in the flow of life

  365. second you take advantage of teachable moments turn over in your bible if you would exodus chapter 12

    Exodus 12:26

  366. verse 26 you're in deuteronomy it's just a short jump but back in deuteronomy chapter 12 verse 26

    Deuteronomy 12:26

  367. after the uh the passover had been implemented god gives some instruction to fathers here's what it says

  368. verse 25 and when you come to the land that the lord will give you as he has promised you shall keep this service

  369. in other words when you're where you're going and i get you there and you're having the passover

  370. verse 26 and when your children shall say to you what do you mean by this service you shall say

  371. it is the sacrifice of the lord's passover

  372. do you understand that that teachable moments are going to happen in your home

  373. that's the way life is

  374. there are there you can sometimes lecture to your blue in the face and it doesn't make a whole lot of a sense

  375. but then something happens that kind of opens the window of opportunity

  376. and you have an opportunity to step in and say

  377. hey

  378. you know what

  379. here's how this connects and

  380. man

  381. this is

  382. this is important

  383. teachable moments take advantage of them

  384. third

  385. and i'm going to give you a broad survey of the book of proverbs can i tell you that i think proverbs is a very very very

  386. one more very good book for parenting

  387. by the way

  388. teach about people

  389. teach about relationships and teach about sex

  390. can i say that again slowly so you know i said it

  391. teach about

  392. people

  393. teach about relationships

  394. and teach about sex

  395. song of solomon and proverbs have a great deal to say about sexuality about purity about relationships about marriage

  396. god has all kinds of information there in the bible for you as a parent to rely upon and by the way listen to me

  397. if you decide that the appropriate time to teach your children about sex is when they're 16 and you give them the keys to the car and you say don't have a mess

  398. you're way too late

  399. you're way too late because the world has already filled their mind with all kinds of wickedness that has nothing to do with god's purpose

  400. you know who invented sex by the way

  401. everybody smile at me so you know i'm talking to you

  402. god planned it

  403. and he meant it for a wonderful wonderful thing

  404. and so it's not something that you as a father ought to say to your son the night before his wedding

  405. now son

  406. you know i've been holding off to talk to you about this

  407. but now here's something you need to know

  408. that's not it

  409. daddy

  410. you should be the one who talks in particular to your son about how god made you

  411. and he should have a clear understanding of the blessing of sexuality

  412. long before can i say this slow

  413. long before he begins to pay attention to little girls

  414. now do all boys pay attention to little girls at the same pace

  415. no

  416. so if you're kind of one of those absentee daddies or you're one of those absent daddies

  417. that every now and then just has these little solar flares

  418. you're missing the boat you need to pay attention to how god made your son

  419. and you need to be talking to him about relationships

  420. you need to be talking to him about people

  421. you need to be talking to him about sex that's your job

  422. it's not your place to be negligent on that area and let the enemy fill your boy

  423. or your girl with all kinds of ideas about what sex is that are not from scripture

  424. and not from god

  425. finally you look at the passage in ephesians chapter 6 4 it says this

    Ephesians 6 chapter mention

  426. of the lord

  427. what's that saying

  428. a christian father's ministry is under the headship of the lord

  429. where does it come from

  430. of the lord

  431. where did i get that idea

  432. that you as a parent should be the one teaching your children about sexuality

  433. where did i come up with that

  434. by the way it's not in the public school curriculum

  435. that says by the way

  436. we're going to leave the matter of human sexuality

  437. to godly parents to take care of instructing their children

  438. how many of you found anything like that in common core of the test going out

  439. no no no no no no

  440. they're not going to teach that

  441. they're going to teach we'll do that job for you

  442. god says

  443. hey

  444. dad

  445. it's the nurture and admonition of the lord

  446. i'm the one who's over all of this

  447. and you are there as my divinely appointed

  448. assistant

  449. that's your job

  450. so let me circle back

  451. preaching

  452. aims to make god's word clear

  453. and bring god's people

  454. to say yes or no

  455. to god

  456. so dad

  457. if you're a believer this morning

  458. whether or not

  459. i did it

  460. right or wrong

  461. in terms of

  462. the clarity

  463. let me make this point

  464. he expects you to obey him

  465. fathers

  466. do not

  467. provoke

  468. bring them up

  469. in the nurture

  470. and admonition

  471. of the lord

  472. and so you're a believer

  473. if you're here this morning

  474. and you're a believer

  475. and the spirit of god

  476. is taking the word of god

  477. and he is driving it

  478. firmly home

  479. you

  480. in righteousness

  481. would say

  482. lord

  483. listen

  484. i need your help

  485. and i'm going to go on notice

  486. when i'm driving home with my wife

  487. i'm going to say

  488. listen

  489. from here on in

  490. i'm going to work at this

  491. i need help

  492. i need prayer

  493. and i am going to improve

  494. in bringing my children up

  495. in the nurture and admonition

  496. of the lord

  497. i am not going to be an angry person

  498. now by the way

  499. wife

  500. if he loses it

  501. don't have a meltdown

  502. in front of your kids

  503. that's where you blow in his ear

  504. and kiss him on the lips

  505. and say

  506. honey

  507. you get another chance

  508. but dad

  509. you need to be humble enough

  510. to say

  511. i need god's help

  512. and i'm going to do it right

  513. and if you're sitting here

  514. this morning

  515. in this business

  516. of being a godly father

  517. there's just a disconnect

  518. it may be

  519. that the real disconnect

  520. is between you

  521. and the lord jesus christ

  522. the truth of the matter is

  523. is that he came into the world

  524. to save sinners

  525. and if you're sitting here

  526. and you do not know christ

  527. as your savior

  528. this business of relying

  529. upon the spirit of god

  530. to help you grow

  531. and change

  532. it's not going to happen

  533. it's not going to happen

  534. until you come

  535. with a broken heart

  536. and say

  537. i am a sinner

  538. who stands justly condemned

  539. before a holy god

  540. i am convicted

  541. of the blackness

  542. and the darkness

  543. of my own heart

  544. and i desperately need

  545. christ jesus

  546. to save me

  547. and i know

  548. that he

  549. hears the cry

  550. of a broken

  551. and contrite heart

  552. and i come to him

  553. and ask him for salvation

  554. let's close our

  555. eyes and bow our heads

  556. as we close

  557. our father god

  558. this morning

  559. as we take the word of god

  560. and we hear it

  561. speak to us

  562. explicitly

  563. and clearly

  564. we pray that we would be

  565. a people

  566. that say

  567. thank you god

  568. for loving us

  569. and making your word clear

  570. that fathers here

  571. would be convicted

  572. and with humility

  573. would cry out

  574. and say

  575. spirit of god

  576. work in me

  577. and help me

  578. to be the father

  579. that i need to be

  580. that those who are here

  581. that do not know christ

  582. would be drawn to the cross

  583. that today would be

  584. the day of conviction

  585. and repentance

  586. to the glory of christ

  587. we ask this in your

  588. precious name

  589. amen

  590. you