It's Okay to Cry

Hey, well, good morning.

I want to invite you to turn with me, if you would please, to Job chapter 3.

Job 3 · chapter mention

! We're continuing our study in this book, Job chapter 3.

Job 3 · chapter mention

If you're using the Pew Bible, it's on page 418.

Now, the challenge over the next six weeks is that we're going to cover 34 chapters in six weeks' time,

which means that we have a lot of ground to cover, and it means that we're not going to be able to go as deep as we would,

but we're going to cover these major themes that we see throughout this book

and try to address them as those who are also sufferers

and observe the things that were true about Job's life, the reason why his suffering was difficult for him,

and how we, as sufferers, can learn from his example and follow in the steps of God.

Now, those of you who used to sing old hymns may be familiar with the hymn by William Cowper that goes this way.

There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel's veins,

and sinners plunge beneath that flood, lose all their guilty stains.

A powerful song about the saving work of Christ,

and something that William Cowper, through this song, will testify,

happened for him, that the death of Christ, his giving of his body and his blood,

his death and resurrection that claimed for him or purchased for William Cowper,

and anyone who would come and confess their sins and believe in Jesus Christ as their Savior,

the same kind of hope of salvation and relief and freedom from the bondage of sin

and a future eternal life with God.

But in spite of those strong words of God's saving grace in William Cowper's life,

he was a man who experienced a turmoil of highs and lows of emotions.

He was born in 1731.

He died in 1800.

His father was the rector of a village church,

one of the pastors of a village church,

and his mother died when he was only six years old.

Just that crushing weight of loss as a youngster.

And as a result, his father sent him to boarding school,

which was a very negative time and season in William Cowper's life.

He was relentlessly bullied by the older students,

older boys in his boarding school.

When he finally left the boarding school and he embarked on his occupation at age 32,

he was about to be made the clerk of journals in the parliament.

This would have been an amazing career advancement for him,

but the pressure struck fear into William Cowper,

and as a result of it, he had a complete mental breakdown.

And he was committed to an insane asylum.

Years would go by, and six months into that stay,

Cowper would find a Bible.

A Bible that was lying on a bench that he read about the story of Jesus.

The story of Jesus, who you remember comes to the tomb of Lazarus,

and there is Mary and Martha,

and Jesus says to them,

I'm the resurrection and the life.

And as a result of the story of what Jesus had done in raising Lazarus to life,

there was hope in William Cowper's heart that there could be freedom from this,

this pressure and this bondage,

and really this emotional death that he faced himself,

and he could experience and enjoy this resurrection power as well.

As a result, he says in his journal,

he received strength to believe.

He saw God's sufficiency,

his shed blood in the fullness of his salvation,

what Jesus offered through his son Jesus.

Two years after Cowper would leave this institution,

one of the most important friendships that he would have would be formed.

A friendship with John Newton.

Newton was a pastor of a church that William Cowper would attend,

and Newton had lost his mother when he was six as well.

So this formed an immediate connection,

kindred hearts, as it were,

who experienced a lot of the same pressures.

And Newton, if you remember,

was the man who wrote the song,

Amazing Grace, How Sweet the Sound,

That Saved a Wretch Like Me.

He realized this, Newton did,

through his experience of growing up with his father

and being on a slave ship with his father

in this business of trading slaves.

When God rescued his heart

and liberated him from that occupation

and turned himself free to speak the word

and to preach to others.

Well, Cowper would go through highs and lows

through his life and experience

several more bouts of depression

where there would be times in his life

where he wanted to take his life.

And Cowper entered his fourth deep depression in 1786

and again tried unsuccessfully to take his life.

He becomes an example for us of a man

who while had experienced the saving work of Christ in his life,

he did also go through periods of deep emotion.

And maybe you can identify,

maybe you've been there.

We're going to look this morning

at the life of a godly man.

Matter of fact, not just the life of a godly man,

but in God's own commendation of Job,

we find there in the second chapter

that there was no one who was like Job.

There was no one on the face of the earth like him,

blameless and upright it says,

who feared God and turned away from evil.

And yet, and yet through all of the tragedy

that Job would experience,

we find the beginnings in Job chapter 3,

Job 3 · chapter mention

a heart that begins to express itself in raw emotion.

This suffocating sorrow and darkness

begin to cloud his heart.

In Job's case, this was a test of integrity,

a test of loyalty to God,

a test of devotion and worship.

Would Job remain true?

Of course, as we've looked at the life of Job,

I just want to remind you in chapter 1 and chapter 2,

up to this point at least,

Job has remained faithful,

his integrity intact.

Even after losing his property,

7,000 sheep and 3,000 camels,

and then 500 yoke of oxen and donkeys,

and then the massive tidal wave

of losing his family,

seven sons and three daughters.

This devastating blow

and the sorrow upon sorrow

that comes on Job's life.

And yet, at the end of Job chapter 1,

Job 1 · chapter mention

we find integrity intact.

Verse 21 says this,

Naked I came from my mother's womb.

Naked shall I return.

The Lord gave,

and the Lord has taken away.

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

And then this commentary,

In all this, Job did not sin

or charge God with wrong.

So in chapter 2,

we turn the page,

and Satan is unsatisfied.

He thinks that God is still holding out on him,

and that there's one more test

that Job needs to experience

before he will truly lose his integrity

and curse God and die.

Give me his flesh.

Let me inflict emotional and physical pain on him,

and then it will be over,

Satan thinks.

And so Satan does.

He's given permission by God.

He goes out and inflicts

this amazing disease on Job

with oozing sores,

infested with worms,

blackened skin,

swollen face,

emaciated figure,

unrecognizable to his friends.

And yet,

in Job chapter 2,

Job 2:10

verse 10,

we find integrity intact.

Shall we receive

good from God

and not evil,

he says?

In all this,

Job did not sin

with his lips.

Which also,

by the way,

means that Job did not sin

with his heart.

Because out of the heart,

the mouth speaks.

And so Job,

his integrity is intact.

But now,

in chapter 3,

we're beginning to see

kind of the cracks

beginning to form.

Job,

who on an appointed day,

his friends come

for a visit.

And this

prolonged struggle

and suffering

that he's experiencing.

And we're not given

the number of days

or weeks or months,

but we get some clues

as we look at

the rest of the book.

Job chapter 7,

Job 7:3

verse 3,

says this,

So I am allotted

months of emptiness.

Nights of misery

are appointed to me.

In chapter 29,

verses 2 to 6,

he says,

Oh,

that I were as

in the months of old,

as in the days

when God watched over me,

when his lamp

shone upon my head,

and by his light

I walked through darkness

as I was in my prime,

when the friendship of God

was upon my tent,

when the Almighty

was yet with me

and my children

were all around me,

when my steps

were washed with butter

and the rock poured out

for me streams of oil.

This was not

a short suffering.

This was a prolonged suffering.

And you can better believe

that God will get us

to our breaking point.

That's what he does

in order for us

to grow in our faith

and dependence upon God.

He gets us to the point

of breaking.

And for Job,

there was no man

like him on the earth.

You can imagine

that that prolonged suffering

would have taken some time.

Although we don't know

the duration of time

that we're talking about.

But we do recognize

that in especially

the first couple of chapters,

time has elapsed

very quickly.

So that even in one verse

we find that an entire week

has gone by.

And what's going to follow

is 34 chapters

and 740 verses

of this discourse

that's taking place

between Job and his friends.

And I want us to just

be reminded of the fact

that it's not like

we can just read through

the book of Job

and that would be the time

that it would take

for these discourses

to happen.

That there's some time

that's taking place here.

It's clear that the timeline

of Job is much slower

than just the course

of interchange

of counsel

back and forth,

the discussion that's happening.

And Job here

was near the Lord.

So the intensity

of his suffering

and the duration

of his suffering

would have corresponded

with his faith

and his integrity.

That's where we find

ourselves this morning.

We find ourselves

in Job chapter 3.

Job 3 · chapter mention

And so we shouldn't

be surprised

that now Job

at his breaking point,

now this raw emotion

is going to burst through.

And it's going to begin

here in Job chapter 3.

Job 3 · chapter mention

It's going to follow

its way until we get

to Job chapter 37

Job 37 · chapter mention

where God finally shows up

in chapter 38

and begins to help

inform this emotion

that has been so raw

and so real

and so out there

where now God

will come

in the midst

of his silence

and will help Job

begin to see

a better view

of himself.

So this morning

we're going to look

at Job's honest cry.

Job's honest cry.

And I want to begin

to, I want to try

to answer this question

for us this morning.

Is it okay to cry?

And we're going to see

through the course

of our time together

as we look at Job

Job 3 · chapter mention

chapter 3 in particular

that it is right.

It is good.

It is even godly

for us to cry

if we're crying

in the right way.

Let me read for us

the first 10 verses

as we jump into our study.

It says,

After this Job

opened his mouth

and cursed

the day of his birth.

And Job said,

Let the day perish

on which I was born

and the night

that said

a man is conceived.

Let that day

be darkness.

May God above

not seek it

nor light shine

upon it.

Let gloom

and deep darkness

claim it.

Let clouds dwell

upon it.

Let the blackness

of the day

terrify it.

That night

let thick darkness

seize it.

Let it not rejoice

among the days

of the year.

Let it not come

into the number

of the months.

Behold,

let that night

be barren.

Let no joyful cry

enter it.

Let those curse

it who curse the day

who are ready

to rouse up Leviathan.

Let the stars

of its dawn

be dark.

Let it hope

for the light

but not have any.

Nor see the eyelids

of the morning

because it did not

shut the doors

of my mother's womb

nor hide

trouble from my eyes.

This cry of anguish,

this cry of torment,

this raw emotion

that we see

as Job is crying

in front of his friends.

We're going to find

and look at two

specific ways

in which he complains.

First,

his first complaint

in verses 1 to 10

is,

I wish I was never born.

I wish I was never born.

Now,

depending upon

your generation,

you might see this

response of Job

here in chapter 3

in one of two ways.

Either you will see

this as a healthy expression

of one's real

emotional struggles.

We're coached

in our culture today

to let it all out,

to be true to yourself,

to make sure

you don't hold back

because we are

our emotions

and so we need

to let our emotions,

our true self,

be known.

That's what we hear

in our culture today.

Or,

maybe you're

coming from

a different perspective

and you see

this outburst

of emotion

as entirely

out of bounds.

Maybe a departure

from faith.

Maybe the emergence

of the cracks

in Job's integrity

or perhaps

even that Job

is expressing

opposition

to God's

clear purposes

in his life.

Now,

I want you to recognize

that bad emotion,

the opposite

of bad emotion

isn't no emotion.

Rather,

that God has designed us

and we're going to see

this in just a little bit

that emotion

is good.

Emotion

is godly

if it's

directing

our hearts

in a way

that helped

us strengthen

our faith

in God.

In these verses

we encounter

some strong emotion,

wouldn't you say?

Job lets it all

hang out.

He is speaking

as a man

who is under

incredible anguish.

Verse 1,

Cursed be the day

of my birth.

Verse 3,

Let that day perish.

Verse 7,

Behold,

let that night

be barren.

This word curse,

by the way,

is not the same word

for curse

that we've seen

in the previous

two chapters

but it's a different word

that draws attention

to light

and not the color light

but that to take

something to be light.

That it has no value.

That it's worthless.

It's the opposite

of glory

or worthiness.

It's that which

is worthless.

Let that day

be worthless.

It may not ever

be counted

or considered.

Of course,

this is easy

for us to understand.

Simply,

I wish

I was never

born.

And then he actually

backs up

at the end

of that verse,

verse 1

and he says,

actually,

let me take that back.

I wish

I was never

conceived.

I wish

I was never

even

existed

in any way.

Job

wants it

to be over.

It's clear.

So much

though

that he wishes

his life

never began

in the first place.

And it's clear

that he's

in utter anguish

and he describes

that anguish

now in terms

that we can see

where he talks

about light

and dark.

And from verses

4 to 6

he will use

darkness,

the word darkness

five times

and different

words for darkness.

Five different

terms for darkness

we see

to describe

the gravity

of the situation

that he's feeling.

In verse 4

he said

he longed

for the day

to be turned

to darkness.

Let that day

be darkness.

And then a different

word

in verse 4

or verse 5

it talks about

deep shadows.

Let gloom

and deep

darkness

claim it.

And then a different

word at the end

of verse 5

this word

for blackness.

Let the blackness

of day

terrify it.

And then in verse 6

thick darkness

that it would

seize the night.

Let thick darkness

seize it.

You know

it's significant

that Job

will use

and paint

this picture

between light

and dark

because

if you remember

going all the way

back to the

beginning of

Genesis

that by the way

wasn't written

yet for him

but this word

of God

let there be light.

And so Job

in saying

let that day

be turned

to night

essentially

is Lord

reverse

all of the

creative order

on that day

so that I don't

exist anymore.

Just undo it

entirely.

Let it be

forgotten.

Let it not even

be considered.

May light

my light

the light

of my life

be turned

to darkness.

This of course

is the way

that suffering

is often described

right?

We talk about

we can't see

the light of day

or we talk about

the glimmer

of hope

that's gone

or we talk

the darkness

that presses in

or we talk

about the dark

clouds of depression

that have kind of

taken over

taken hold

of us.

Here Job

expresses

what's on his heart.

and I want

us to understand

that while

he expresses

emotion

that is raw

and seemingly

unfiltered

and for those

of us

of the older

generation

might begin

to think

well Job

is just

kind of

losing it

right now

and he is

sinning

against God

but I want

you to recognize

that he has

not yet

accused God

of wrongdoing.

He's not

accused God

of wrongdoing.

He's not

blasphemed God

in any way

and we know

that especially

because of

the accounting

of Job's

life at the

end of the

book

by God

himself.

This raw

emotion

this deep

anguish

and it raises

some questions

right?

It raises

some questions

for us

is it

appropriate

to express

our emotion

in this way?

Did Job's

integrity

just take

a hit

because of

this raw

emotion

this outburst

of feeling

that comes

now out

into the

open?

And I want

to just

briefly pull

away from

Job chapter

Job 3 · chapter mention

3 to try

to answer

that question

what does

the Bible

say about

emotion?

What does

the Bible

say about

our emotion?

There's several

things I want

to work through

briefly this

morning but

we can't

cover it all

and I want

to just

commend to

you this

book I'm

going to put

a picture of

this book

on the screen

it's called

Untangling

Emotion

it's by

Alistair Groves

and Winston

Smith

we have a few

more copies

in the

resource center

I would

commend it

to you

it provides

a much

fuller

discourse

of this

subject

that we

can cover

this morning

but in

there

in this

book

we find

the clues

that we

find in

scripture

that help

inform us

in our

emotion

first

God made

us

as emotional

creatures

God made

you

and God

made me

as emotional

creatures

and

it teaches

that we

are the

indispensable

part

of our

human

nature

is that

our

relationship

with God

must be

built on

some kind

of emotion

we get to

the first

in great

commandment

right

we're gonna

get there

in just a

little bit

to love

the Lord

your God

with all

your heart

with all

your soul

with all

your mind

with all

your strength

your emotion

is a critical

feature

of your

relationship

with God

and that

should not

be a surprise

to us

because we're

made in

God's image

and so he

built in us

and wove

in us

this emotional

part

that is

meant

not to

take us

away

from him

but is

meant to

lead us

towards him

and not

just that

it's meant

to be

a comfort

and encouragement

to the people

around us

as we're

expressing

the kind

of right

godly

emotion

that reflects

the image

of God

to them

like we

rejoice

with those

who rejoice

we weep

with those

who weep

why do we

do that

because we

have a

weeping

God

we have

a God

who is

the God

of all

comfort

we have

a God

who cares

he was

moved with

compassion

we saw

that through

Christ's

ministry

and so

emotions are

an essential

way that we

bear out the

image of

God to

to this

world

now

I want

you all

to understand

that you

are an

emotional

person

and you

might

say

wait a

second

I'm

pretty

steady

I'm

kind

of

stable

I'm

not

an

emotional

person

except

when you're

behind

somebody

who cut

you off

who's

going

too slow

who's

not

making

the turn

who's

on

their

phone

they are

distracted

or they

went

through

the light

because

they're

not

paying

attention

and all

of a

sudden

emotion

comes

through

right

what

are

they

doing

now

it's

not

the

same

kind

of

emotion

perhaps

that

you

would

think

it's

not

the

weeping

or the

crying

or the

compassion

but it's

emotion

nonetheless

that frustration

that anger

that flash

of emotion

that you

might feel

fear

and anger

and frustration

and sadness

are emotions

too

along with

joy

and happiness

and gratitude

and love

and so

you are

an emotional

person

because

God

made you

that way

and so

it's not

to tamp

down

that emotion

but to

point that

emotion

in the

right way

and to

steer it

so that

God is

glorified

through

our emotional

responses

second

our emotion

needs to

be

evaluated

our emotion

needs to

be evaluated

you see

not all

negative

emotion

is bad

and not

all

positive

emotion

is good

for example

I just

quoted this

already

rejoice

with those

who rejoice

weep

with those

who weep

we might

consider

that weeping

is kind

of a negative

emotion

and we

don't really

want to

weep

we want to

kind of

pass over

that

but you

understand

that the

command

is in

place

so that

we can

not just

express

the heart

of God

towards people

who are

struggling

but so

that we

can

so that

we can

grow

in our

own

compassion

and

unify

the body

as you

are

sympathizing

with their

circumstances

it's a way

to unify

it's a way

to strengthen

the connection

that God

has made

among us

because of

the work

of Christ

you see

not all

negative

emotions

are bad

but they

can be

a signpost

to us

of

something

deeper

inside

and

just

the same

way

all

positive

emotions

aren't

good

that

sometimes

the fact

that we're

happy

about the

good things

that are

happening

in our

life

actually

distract

us

we think

about the

happy

things

the gifts

that God

has given

to us

rather

than thinking

about the

giver

of those

gifts

we can

celebrate

those good

things

those

great

promises

those

great

blessings

that we

enjoy

and they

can

completely

derail

us

from

thinking

about

the

giver

of

those

gifts

so

happiness

can

be

negative

as well

third

we need

to understand

that emotion

reveals

our

worship

emotion

reveals

what we

worship

emotion

really is

like

lights

on a

dashboard

those

of you

who

are

interested

in that

it's

meant

to

indicate

what's

happening

beneath

the

surface

and

that

emotion

whether

it's

good

or

bad

tells

you

what's

happening

deep

down

inside

it

is

that

indicator

that

helps

you

know

what

you

worship

what

you

enjoy

what

makes

you

afraid

what

you

value

and

so

every

emotion

that

you've

ever

felt

reflects

what

you

love

it

reflects

what

you

worship

and

that's

why

we

need

to

steer

our

desires

that's

why

James

talks

about

in

James

James 4 · chapter mention

chapter

4

it

talks

about

where

does

war

and

conflict

come

from

you

it

comes

from

the

desires

that

are

in

you

that

rage

against

yourself

and

so

those

desires

those

emotions

those

expectations

that

we

have

reflect

what's

truly

important

to

us

and

so

we

need

to

steer

that

emotion

that's

why

Deuteronomy

Deuteronomy 6:4

6

verses

4

and 5

hear

O

Israel

the

Lord

our

God

the

Lord

is

one

you

shall

love

the

Lord

your

God

with

all

your

heart

with

all

your

soul

and

with

all

your

might

and

so

as

we

steer

our

emotion

we

steer

our

loves

we

steer

our

affections

we

steer

our

desires

in

the

way

of

God

then

we

point

ourselves

to

the

kind

of

worship

that

exalts

him

that's

appropriate

that's

pure

that's

right

we

are to

the

mentality

of

our

being

which

includes

our

emotions

fourth

emotion

is meant

to lead

us to

God

emotion

is meant

to lead

us to

God

it's

meant

to

strengthen

your

faith

to

help

you

wrestle

with

your

feelings

and

put

them

in

alignment

with

the

truth

that

we

find

from

scripture

and

by

the

way

God

is

big

enough

to

handle

your

emotions

God

God

is

he

knows

what

they

are

anyway

!

And so

when we

express

our

emotions

to

God

he

is

big

enough

to

hear

them

and

to

respond

and

he

responds

of

course

through

his

word

right

so

even

those

strong

raw

and

unfiltered

emotions

that we

might

have

he

doesn't

expect

us

to

try

to

refine

them

he

doesn't

want

us

to

fix

ourselves

and

then

come

to

him

no

no

emotions

are

meant

to

lead

us

to

God

so

that

he

can

fix

our

emotions

he

can

help

direct

and

inform

our

emotions

it

is

God's

design

that

great

suffering

brings

great

sorrow

and

in

our

sorrow

in

our

suffering

that

emotion

is

meant

to

lead

us

to

the

only

one

who's

able

to

help

us

in

the

midst

of

sorrow

and

suffering

the

longer

the

suffering

the

harder

the

struggle

will

be

and

so

we

have

this

story

of

Job

and

finally

in

Job

Job 3 · chapter mention

chapter

3

Job

is

at

his

breaking

point

and

by

the

way

that

is

really

good

news

for

us

it's

bad

for

Job

it's

good

for

us

because

if

the

story

had

stopped

at

Job

then

the

rest

of

us

who

have

real

unfiltered

emotions

and

we

don't

experience

nearly

the

pain

that

Job

experienced

was

like

well

there's

no

hope

for

me

but

now

we

get

this

breakthrough

this

glimpse

of

what

really

truly

godly

people

will

do

at

times

and

Job

here

responds

in

this

first

ten

verses

I

wish

I

had

never

been

born

and

now

moving

into

verses

11

to

19

he

changes

it

a bit

but

it

has

the

same

outcome

I

wish

I

was

dead

I

wish

I

let me

read this

for us

it

says

why

did

I

not

die

at

birth

come

out

from

the

womb

and

expire

why

did

the

knees

receive

me

or

why

the

breast

that

I

should

nurse

for

then

I

would

have

lain

down

and

been

quiet

I

would

have

slept

then

I

would

have

been

at

rest

I

would

have

with

the

kings

and

with

counselors

of

the

earth

who

rebuilt

the

ruins

for

themselves

or

why

was

I

not

hidden

as

a

stillborn

child

as

infants

who

never

see

the

light

there

the

wicked

cease

from

troubling

and

there

the

weary

are

at

rest

there

the

prisoners

are

at

ease

together

they

hear

not

the

voice

of

the

task

master

the

small

and

the

great

are

there

and

the

slave

is

free

from

his

master

Job

continues

this

raw

emotion

and

he

sees

that

death

is

the

answer

in

his

mind

he

believes

that

if

he

were

not

to

be

alive