Whole Singleness

Well, good evening. Thanks so much for coming.

We're in the second of our Real Asianships series.

Last week we looked at friendship. That was a struggle.

This week we're looking at singleness.

And that eclipsed last week's difficulty.

Writing a biblical talk on friendship paled was easy compared to putting this together.

I hope it's helpful to all of us.

That's been my prayer. I've redrafted this talk five times.

And the first three went in the bin and started again.

So I hope that it's been refined rather than diluted as it's gone through its many iterations.

Singleness is a tricky subject to write on for a great number of reasons.

I read about seven books this week on the Christian view of singleness.

I would say six of them were basically dating advice for single people clothed in Christian language.

It's hard to write on because single status encapsulates a wide variety of people.

Those that have never been married, those that are divorced, and those that are widowed are all at present single.

It also encapsulates a wide range of ages.

I'm sure there are different struggles if you're single at 20 than if you're single at 70.

I also think there's a difference in gender.

I think perhaps single women think differently about their singleness to single men.

I can't say that for sure, having only got one perspective in my life.

Singleness also varies between the individuals.

Some single people see their singleness as a great blessing, whilst others see it as a great burden,

and many find themselves somewhere along that spectrum, depending on the days.

Some individuals have a real desire to be married, but yet remain single.

Others, for varying reasons, value and relish their single status.

Others started out with a desire to be married, but over time have learnt contentment in their singleness.

Yes.

I'm also very conscious that I'm speaking about singleness as someone miraculously who got married,

which is more to do with the grace of my wife and the wisdom of God than anything to do with me.

I found myself ironing this afternoon.

Thus was the sanctifying influence of marriage.

I thought to myself this would never have happened unless Aileen was gracious to me.

I'm also very conscious that while writing this, I don't want to be glib or patronising or to diminish what can be a very real struggle or a very great blessing of being single.

So having prayed, wrestled, read, ruminated and redrafted a lot, I hope that what I share this evening might be of real help.

It might bring blessing and be an eye-opener for all of us, no matter our marital status.

And we will leave enlightened, better equipped and with greater hoping in all that we have in Christ.

All of us have at one time been single.

And even if we're married, half of those people will perhaps leave this life single.

So it is perhaps more relevant than you would imagine.

So let me pray and then we'll get to work.

Paul writes, and he died for all that those who live should no longer live for themselves, but for him who died for them and was raised again.

So from now on, we regard no one from a worldly point of view.

Father, when it comes to this subject of relationships,

Father, when it comes to this subject of fulfilment and romantic love or lack of it,

Father, our world is saying one thing and your word is saying another.

And so I really pray that we might think about this subject not from a worldly point of view,

but we would see your wisdom, we would trust in your grace.

And we would love your son most, over and above all things on this earth.

So Lord, speak to us and help us guide our thinking, change our lives,

courage us along the way in our pursuit of your son, Jesus, we pray.

Amen.

2007 was the year in the UK where the number of single people,

number of single adults for the first time outnumbered the number of married adults.

We are now a majoritively unmarried culture.

Marriage has been on the decline since 1971 and is projected to fall below 35% of the population by 2031.

That only a third of adults in 15 years' time will be married.

These statistics are slightly more in favour of marriage within the church, as you might expect.

But single adults are a significant minority of most congregations.

Many in our churches are single and we are ministering to a majority single culture.

So thinking theologically about this subject is of vital importance.

Our culture and its pedestalling of romantic love makes the challenge and perception of singleness worse in our eyes.

Where would Hollywood be without the boy meets girl storyline?

How many songs would be in the charts if it wasn't for our fixation with romantic love?

What would people sing about if it isn't?

The longing for a love you don't have, finding the love you long for,

being rejected by the one you love or losing the love you once had.

In the eyes of our world, all you need is love.

And for that, in their eyes, you need a lover.

If you type online dating into Google, you get 145 million hits in 0.31 seconds.

It seems the only happy ending society can stomach is one with a couple walking hand in hand along the beach.

And that couple is made up of two people who have found the one.

Growing up, we give Barbie to our children for their birthdays and give them Ken for Christmas

to make the picture complete and palatable.

One of the most excruciating things I've ever had to do in ministry was speaking to an after-evening service Bible study,

which was lovingly called the Fellowship of the No Rings,

which was this collection of single people gathered from across three churches

who basically got together in the hope that they might be saved from their single status.

It was excruciating.

The way this group was spoken about by those not in the group was utterly embarrassing

and so dismissive and diminishing of these people.

It revealed just how much culture would shape people's thinking about personhood, contentment, and completeness.

Our surrounding culture sees people, 30 in their late 30s, who are still single,

and their question is, what's wrong?

Many of the books that I read simply said, if you're still single, it's your fault, you're too picky.

Lower your standards and get on with it.

So patronizing and so badly thought out.

So what does God have to say about singleness?

If we develop a biblical theology of singleness, how does that shape our thinking from God's Word

about how to think about this subject, how we value and live out the truth of God's Word in our lives?

Well, I think the first thing that I want to say is that the New Testament in particular

speaks about singleness in a way that is revolutionary compared to all the other world religions.

Astonishingly different.

Whilst the vast majority of monotheistic religions of the world all share similar family values and sexual ethics,

Christianity is worlds apart from these on the subject of singleness.

In Judaism, marriage is considered a commandment and celibacy is deplored.

In the Quran, the practice of celibacy is considered as exceeding the law of God.

Whilst marriage is akin to divinity in Mormonism,

where celestial marriage is necessary in order to enter heaven.

In traditional cultures, you are a non-person until you're married.

In modern cultures, you are unfulfilled unless you have a partner, husband or wife.

Christianity, however, not only affirms singleness,

but goes further describing it as a gift and a highly valued lifestyle within the believing community.

However, there is a lot of work we need to do to see that in all its radicalness.

I want to spend the first bit of time developing a biblical theology of singleness,

which I assure you is a lot more exciting than it sounds.

And then I want to see a few things that we can take away from that to think about singleness.

So here we go.

The creation, mandate and singleness.

I wonder, what is the first commandment that God gives to his creation in the Bible?

What is the first commandment that God gives to his creation in the Bible?

Be fruitful and multiply.

And who does he give that commandment to?

He gives it to the fish of the sea and the birds of the air in Genesis 1, verse 22.

Genesis 1:22

In Genesis 1, 28, that same command is given to Adam and Eve with the added command to subdue the earth,

to be God's vice-regents over creation.

Therefore, in Eden, before the fall, reproducing oneself is a fundamental and natural task commissioned by God for all creation,

including human beings.

To achieve this end, it was necessary for the alone Adam to find, to have,

to have created a bespoke companion for him, a helper.

And so Eve is created that that creation mandate might be carried out.

Therefore, we can conclude in the creation mandate,

singleness was neither present nor appropriate,

as the need to procreate was intrinsic to obeying God's command.

See also in Genesis 3, as God is cursing them for their disobedience,

how fundamental offspring are to the redemptive promise that God makes to Adam and Eve amidst the curses.

So in Genesis 3, 15,

And I will put enmity between you and the woman,

and between your offspring and her offspring.

He will crush your head and you will strike his heel.

Therefore, the creation mandate continues,

And these two set of offspring will continue a struggle down through the ages

until one offspring will finally stamp out evil literally forever.

And therefore, descendants and procreation continue on.

Be fruitful and multiply in Eden.

As they're kicked out of Eden, be fruitful and multiply seems to continue.

After the flood, this mandate, be fruitful and multiply,

is repeated to Noah twice,

in Genesis 9, verse 1 and Genesis 9, verse 7.

Genesis 9:1 Genesis 9:7

So after the fall,

once God presses the reset button on creation with the flood,

the creation mandate still stands.

The necessity to be fruitful and multiply.

Therefore, who's in the ark?

Noah and his wife.

Shem, Ham and Japheth and their three wives.

Because to fulfill this mandate, you cannot go it alone.

If procreation is commanded,

then singleness is not viable.

Then we get to Abraham, Genesis 12.

In Genesis 12, God makes a covenant with Abraham

that is primarily involved in progeny,

in offspring.

So in Genesis 12, when the covenant is made,

Now the Lord said to Abraham,

Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house

to the land that I will show you.

And I will make you a great nation.

And I will bless you and make your name great

so that you will be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you.

And him who dishonors you, I will curse.

And in you, all the families of the earth shall be blessed.

See that the core of this covenant surrounds the promise of children.

Becoming a great nation requires the multiplying of descendants

in order that the nation will be large and great and spectacular.

And this idea to have a great name in a Semitic culture

is to be remembered and venerated by your descendants.

Abraham will have a multitude of offspring

through which the world will be blessed.

It's intrinsic there in Genesis 12.

A few verses later, this is made more explicit.

As Abraham looks out over Canaan,

God says in verse 7,

To your offspring I will give this land.

This Abrahamic covenant is repeated

and developed upon five different occasions in Genesis.

And across the five, the promise of offspring

is explicitly mentioned 12 times

and illustrated using three different metaphors

that Abraham's descendants will be as numerous as the dust of the earth,

as numerous as the stars in the sky,

and as numerous as the sand on the seashore.

This dependence on offspring emphasizes the provision of God

in overcoming Sarah's barrenness.

If procreation is necessary in obedience to God,

then Sarah's barrenness will be a real problem.

So will Rebecca's in the next generation and Rachel's

in the generation to follow.

In the old covenant that builds from Abraham onwards,

God is focused on Israel as an ethnic people

and therefore the emphasis on marriage and reproduction

is universally the norm.

We get to the law and the law is bound up with children as well.

By the time we get to Exodus chapter 1,

Exodus 1 · chapter mention

we read that Israel were fruitful and increased greatly.

They multiplied and increased exceedingly.

They seem to have at least taken that command of God quite seriously.

And then in Deuteronomy 7,

when God is laying out the stipulations of the covenant,

he writes this about the blessing that will befall them

if they're obedient to him.

You shall therefore be careful

to do the commandment and the statutes

and the rules that I command you today.

And because you listen to these rules and keep and do them,

the Lord your God will keep with you

the covenant and the steadfast love that he swore to your fathers.

He will love you and bless you and multiply you.

He will also bless the fruit of your womb

and the fruit of your ground,

your grain and your wine and your oil,

the increase of your herds

and the young of your flock in the land

that he swore to your fathers to give you.

You shall be blessed above all people.

There shall not be male or female barren among you

or among your livestock.

And then at the end of Deuteronomy,

where this covenant is reiterated,

the curse is the complete opposite.

That if they're disobedient, barrenness will be the punishment.

There's also throughout Deuteronomy,

this concern about inheritance.

That somebody's name will not be blotted out

or cut off from the land.

There's exhaustive stipulations in the law

that people's inheritance,

which is necessitated by offspring,

will not fall into the wrong hands.

So in the year of Jubilee, you get everything back.

If you're a man and you die without male offspring,

you have a Leverite marriage where you marry,

your wife marries your brother.

Failing thought she got a bad deal the first time round.

That's what we see in the book of Ruth that we read from earlier.

That Ruth is a single lady,

a single Moabite lady going back to a foreign people

has very little prospects.

But Boaz, in the end, that great Boaz,

comes forward as the kinsman redeemer

who performs a Leverite marriage,

not to Elimelech's brother,

but to a very near relative.

The law of Moses, when you drill down into the detail,

gives no value or affirmation to singleness.

It's just not there.

Which brings us to David.

God makes a covenant with David,

which again is centered around offspring.

He's promised that he'll have a great name

like the name of great ones of the earth.

But further down, the Lord says,

I will make you a house, a dynasty.

I will raise up your offspring after you

who shall come from your body.

And your house and your kingdom

shall be made sure forever before me.

Your throne shall be established forever.

In the Old Testament,

this is what I'm trying to show,

singleness is not value.

It's not a fact.

It's not a norm.

In fact, as far as I can see,

in the Old Testament,

there were six groups of people

that were single, widows,

but most of them would have got married again.

Eunuchs, a most unenviable position

in ancient Israel,

seen as non-persons,

those that are diseased.

Those with a divine call,

the people like Jeremiah,

in Jeremiah 16,

is told not to marry,

as a visual metaphor

for how Israel has behaved.

The divorce,

the stipulations in Deuteronomy 24,

about grounds for divorce,

and young people

are waiting to be married.

So you get Isaac in Genesis 24,

and Samson in Judges 14,

both waiting for their parents

to arrange a marriage.

Further demonstrates

how undesirable singleness

was as regards the Old Covenant,

and how unusual singleness is

in the Old Testament.

It's not been a greatly encouraging talk so far

if you're single.

But it does get better.

It gets radically different.

And we start to see it in the prophets,

particularly in Isaiah.

There's something very unusual

against the backdrop of negative singleness

being foreshadowed in the prophets.

The winds of change

are blowing through the scriptures

as we move from old to new.

And so we get the fourth servant song,

the one that we love,

the end of Isaiah 52 and 53.

This foreshadowed description

of the Lord Jesus.

Says he was oppressed

and he was afflicted,

yet he did not open his mouth.

Like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,

and like a sheep

before its shearers is silent,

so he opened not his mouth.

By oppression and judgment

he was taken away.

And who can speak of his descendants?

For he was cut off

out of the land of the living,

stricken for the transgression

of my people.

And they made his grave

with the wicked

and with a rich man in his death.

Although he had done no violence

and there was no deceit in his mouth.

It is clear that this character,

this suffering servant,

dies with no offspring.

Who can speak of his descendants?

No one.

He was cut off that Hebrew idiom

about not having anyone

to carry on his name.

Yet towards the end of the psalm,

in verse 10,

something remarkable happens.

He has put him to grief.

Yet it was the will of the Lord

to crush him.

He has put him to grief.

When his soul makes an offering for guilt,

he shall see his offspring,

he shall prolong his days.

The will of the Lord

shall prosper in his hands.

We have a servant who dies

without any natural offspring.

And yet once he's made atonement for sin,

he has offspring that he sees

and is satisfied by.

We have a figure in the future

who will be single

and yet have offspring.

What sort of offspring will they be?

Well, remarkable offspring.

A very different kind of offspring

because in Isaiah 54,

we have the song of a barren woman

and this is what she sings.

Sing, O barren one,

who did not bear,

break forth into singing

and cry aloud,

you who have not been in labor.

For the children of the desolate one

will be more than the children

of her who is married.

Says the Lord,

enlarge the place of your tent

and let the curtains

of your habitations

be stretched out.

Why?

Because there's lots more offspring.

You need to upsize.

This little barren woman is told,

do not hold back,

lengthen your cords

and strengthen your stakes.

For you will spread abroad

to the right and to the left

and your offspring

will possess the nations

and will be people

and will people

the desolate cities.

We get a servant who dies alone

and yet has offspring.

We have a barren woman

who has no descendants

and yet sings rejoicingly

over new offspring.

Just to make it even better

in Isaiah 56,

once this servant has come,

for thus says the Lord

and let the eunuch complain,

I am only a dry tree.

And let no eunuch complain,

I am only a dry tree.

To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbath,

who choose the things that please me

and hold fast my covenant,

I will give in my house

and within my walls

a monument and a name

better than sons and daughters.

I will give them an everlasting name

that shall not be cut off.

So the eunuch,

because of this servant,

is now welcomed in God's temple,

will have a everlasting name

that won't be cut off

and have a name greater

than sons and daughters.

Just to bring it full circle,

in Isaiah 56,

the foreigner has many children

and a great name

and a wonderful inheritance.

So through the old,

so though the old covenant

centers around ethnic Israel,

is marked by offspring

and therefore makes marriage implicit

and singleness cursed,

the picture in the prophets,

particularly Isaiah,

offers new hope

and stands in stark contrast.

Suddenly singleness is reinterpreted

and the covenant revolves

around a different kind of access.

Not a physical access,

but a spiritual access.

Not about being Abraham's descendants

by race,

but God's spiritual offspring

by grace.

By trusting the sufficient seed,

the serpent crushing son,

the obedient servant

and the forever king,

Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ.

Suddenly it is not about

your human birth

or pedigree

or credentials.

It's not about

whether you're married or not.

The sole way

life now finds worth

is not about

whether you were born

or birthed your own children.

It's whether you were born from above

and regenerated by the Spirit.

Which forms a backdrop

to our New Testament.

And in the New Testament,

singleness is not only viable,

but affirmed.

It's not only an option for some,

it is a venerated pursuit for many.

John the Baptist,

the Apostle Paul,

some of the disciples,

and Jesus himself

are all single.

If Jesus,

the most complete human being

who ever lived,

was single,

then that is a stunning endorsement

as to the value of that status

now in the New Covenant.

If the Apostle Paul,

the most prolific writer

of the New Testament

and pioneering church planter

of the known world,

was single,

then we have to say

that things are markedly different

in the now present kingdom of God.

If John the Baptist,

who is described by Jesus

as the greatest of all men

born of woman,

if he were single,

we must see that there's

a markedly different

way of life

at the inauguration

of God's kingdom.

Jesus says only two things

explicitly about singleness

and neither of them

are addressing the subject

head on.

Both of them are in debates

with people trying to trap him.

So in Matthew 19,

as the Pharisees

try to trap Jesus,

he states that Moses

condescended to give them divorce

in the law

because of their hardness of heart.

It then says,

the disciples on the back of that

where Jesus says

that marriage is to be

honored and obeyed,

the disciples say,

if such is the case

of a man with his wife,

it is better not to marry.

But Jesus said to them,

not everyone can receive

this saying,

but only those

to whom it is given,

for there are eunuchs

who have been made

so from birth.

There are eunuchs

who have been made eunuchs

by men.

And there are eunuchs

who have made themselves eunuchs

for the sake

of the kingdom of heaven.

Let the one who is able

to receive this

receive it.

It's quite tricky

to know exactly

what Jesus is saying there

and many people

have taken those teachings

badly to their detriment

in church history.

But over and against

the negative connotations

of being a eunuch,

what Jesus says

is suggesting

that in his kingdom

there is credit,

viability,

and blessing

to not being married.

There is credit

in being a eunuch

for the sake

of the kingdom.

There is advantage

to some

and the kingdom

as a whole

in some

remaining single

for spiritual

reasons.

The second reference

is in Matthew 22

where this time

Jesus is trying

to be trapped

by the Sadducees

with the riddle

about the seven brothers

who all end up

marrying the same woman

and he's then asked

well whose wife

will she be

in the resurrection.

And Jesus says

you are wrong

because you know

neither the scriptures

nor the power of God

for in the resurrection

they neither marry

nor are given

in marriage

but are like

the angels of heaven.

So Jesus seems

to be saying

that in the

consummated kingdom

in resurrection life

singleness

will be the universal

state and marriage

is a reality

in this life only.

This again

seems to diminish

the necessity,

importance

and eternal value

of marriage

and in fact

frames union

between husband

and wife

as a transitory

reality.

These assertions

are further elaborated

on by the Apostle Paul

in 1 Corinthians 7

which is a great text

to go to

as we think

about singleness.

In 1 Corinthians 7

it's important

to remember

the context

of Corinth

that this is a

very licentious people

that seem to be

going a bit wild.

So we don't want

to make sweeping

generalizations

but at least

seven times

in one chapter

Paul places

singleness

alongside marriage

and frames them

both as good gifts

from a good God.

Paul also seems

if you read

the whole chapter

to commend singleness

at times

above marriage.

He seems to show

bias towards

being single.

Many times

he says

I wish you were

all single

as I am

which is a

stunning thing

against all

that we've read

in the Old Covenant

and against the culture

that Paul

and we

live in.

So in 1 Corinthians 7

at the beginning

it is good for a man

not to marry

but since there is

so much immorality

each man should have

his own wife

and each woman

her own husband.

It is good for a man

not to marry.

I'm sure they would have

read that chapter

several times

as they thought

about it.

He says in 1 Corinthians

7 7

I wish that all of you

were as I am

single

but each of you

has your own

gift from God.

One has this gift

another has that.

gift there is about

the status

not the ability.

So he's not talking

about the ability

to be singleness

as a gift

he's saying

singleness

is a gift

both

ordained from the

hand of a good God.

1 Corinthians 7

1 Corinthians 7:8

verse 8

Now to be unmarried

now to the unmarried

and the widows

I say it is good

for them to stay

unmarried

as I do

but if they cannot

control themselves

they should marry

for it is better

to marry

than to burn

with passion

but later on

in the chapter

are you unmarried?

Do not look for a wife

verse 28

those who marry

will face many

troubles in this life

and I want to

spare you this

I look back

on

my

single life

I didn't have

iron shirts

but life was

quite simple

now with

marriage

and

two people's

point of views

having to be taken in

and decision making

one car

that needs to be

juggled around

lifts here and there

can't just get away

with a microwave meal

for one anymore

that definitely needs

to feed two people

life is more

complicated

I wouldn't say

it's many troubles

and I'd be disappointed

if Aileen heard the recording

and I didn't set that

straight

but life is certainly

more complicated

1 Corinthians 7

32 to 35

it makes quite a

long winded argument

which paraphrased

that

married person

has complex

and compromised

affections

whereas someone

who is single

can live

in a right way

with undivided

devotion to the

Lord

1 Corinthians 7

39

a woman is bound

to her husband

as long as she

lives

but if her husband

dies she is free

to marry anyone

she wishes

but he must belong

to the Lord

in my judgment

she is

happier

if she stays

as she is

that is

now single

there's no getting

away from the truth

that in the New Testament

singleness is no

longer cursed

but seemingly

blessed

and greatly

blessed

in the New Testament

the expectancy

of procreation

is diminished

and the now

spiritual family

birthed in the Lord

Jesus is a whole

different thing

it revolves around

a whole different

axis

it has a totally

different value

system

a totally

reconstructed

relational matrix

and a covenantal

contract

that supersedes

the need

to procreate

and have progeny

that it seems

that now

in Jesus

is reframed

and what was

formerly true

is now

obsolete

conscious that

that is quite

a long winded

way of addressing

the subject

but I think

there is value

in showing us

that things

are now new

in the kingdom

of Jesus Christ

things are

radically different

from how they were

as weight

to the revolution

in relationships

that Jesus

inaugurates

where a singleness

was a tragedy

in the old covenant

it has the potential

for great blessing

and eternal fruit

for the acquisition

of a great name

and to do great good

and bear great fruit

for the Lord

in the new covenant

so to finish

I want to say

a few things

that are practical

and hopefully

helpful on the back

of what we've

been looking at

the first is this

I think it is

good if we are

all conscious

of the struggles

faced by single

people

you can't get away

from what Paul says

in 1 Corinthians 7

that if you are

burning with passion

it is good

to be married

that there is

real

real urges

real desires

within us

to have a

companion

to have

a partner

even though

Paul says

singleness is

viable

and valued

he still says

there is real

struggles

the struggle

of loneliness

to not have

that special

someone

to wake

up alone

every day

it is hard

that is

I am sure

a real struggle

for many

and therefore

it is important

for all of us

to be

open

to walking

closely

with single

people

to making

sure that

they are

involved

in life

to involve

them in our

family lives

that if

as Jesus

inaugurates

churches

a totally

different

kettle

of fish

then it is

important

that we

reframe

the way

we think

about each

other

and particularly

look out

for those

that are

single

if what

Paul is

saying

and Jesus

is saying

about singleness

is true

the great

struggle

would be

sexual

immorality

and again

that is

going to be

overcome

by having

good

friends

by having

people

invited

into their

lives

so there

can be

accountability

it is

the same

for everyone

sexual

immorality

is not

a problem

for the

single

alone

but it is

only going

to be

overcome

if we

support

each other

and encourage

one another

amidst our

sex obsessed

culture

that is ready

to trip

us up

and snare

us at

every

opportunity

with

singleness

I think

comes very

real struggle

but very

real struggle

if we can

forge great

relationships

that we

can certainly

bear each

other's

burdens

and help

each other

through

secondly I

think there's

very real

dangers

that we

do live

in a culture

where the

dream of

young boys

and girls

is to go

through life

to find that

someone to

have that

big wedding

day to

have 2.4

children

although how

you manage

0.4 I'm

not sure

so there's

a real

danger

if our

lives as

Christians

don't play

out in the

way that

culture says

we should

for bitterness

to grow

for resentment

to grow

for frustration

to take

over

and for us

to doubt

that God

knows what

he's doing

and he's

somehow given

a second

best

therefore we've

got to

affirm each

other in

our status

and help

each other

through when

those things

are rearing

their ugly

head

we don't

allow bitterness

to grow

into gangrene

and then

become detrimental

to our

health

and relationship

with the

Lord Jesus

there's also

a real danger

that we form

for ourselves

functional

saviors

that if I am

a single

person who

longs to be

married

then my

functional hell

is to remain

single for the

rest of my

life and

therefore I'll

create for

myself a

functional saviour

which will be

somebody to

lift me out

of that

functional hell

and the

problem is

the minute we

frame it like

that it's

destined to

all go wrong

because there's

only one proper

saviour and his

name is Jesus

and if we have

all of our

identity tied

up in what

anybody else

can do for

us we'll

always be

disappointed

and we'll

always be

let down

you can do

that with

anything

if your

functional hell

is driving to

work in a

clapped out

car then your

functional saviour

will be a

new car

and then when

that rusts and

needs to go to

the mechanic

you'll be

crushed

so there's

real dangers

in singleness

but I think

there's real

opportunity

Paul is very

clear in 1

Corinthians 7

that singleness

offers the

opportunity for

undivided devotion

to the Lord

great opportunity

great opportunity

to serve the

Lord to be

all out for

Jesus without

a compromise

diary

a great

opportunity to

put on display

to a watching

world that

actually Jesus

is all I

need

and that I

find my

identity in

him and I'm

complete in

my relationship

with him

it's an

opportunity to

trust God

it's an

opportunity to

trust God if

you're married

or single

Paul says

both the

gifts of God

and therefore we

can be content

and we need

to strive to

be content

in whatever

our marital

status is in

the season

that we're

in

if we can

even if

we're single

be complete

in Christ

then that is

going to be

the best

foundation

if God

in his

sovereignty

bring someone

along for

us to share

our lives

intimately

with

it's a real

challenge

a real

challenge

as I

already said

about the

plausibility

of church

as a real

family

not just a

buzzword

that we

throw out

to make us

all feel

warm and

fuzzy

but there

is plausibility

to that idea

there is

tangibility

that people

don't just

silo our

family life

that yes

we gather

for church

and then it's

all the

children in

the car

and off

we go

compartmentalize

that part

of our

lives

but who

can we

invite in

who can we

journey through

life closely

with

who are the

people that

we befriend

and invest

in

even though

they're not

blood

relatives

I think we

also see

in the

challenge in

the New

Testament

so many

people are

referred to

as spiritual

sons and

daughters

Paul talks

about

Timothy

and Titus

and

Anesimus

as spiritual

sons in

the faith

he writes

in Romans

16 about

Rufus'

mother

and how

he is

his mother

how she

is Rufus'

mother

and his

just think

about being

the spiritual

mother of

the apostle

Paul

how proud

would you

be

and so

whereas in

the old

covenant

the idea

was to

be fruitful

and multiply

physically

what does

Jesus tell

us in

the New

Testament

go

and make

disciples

make

spiritual

sons and

daughters

now there's

no reason

that your

physical

sons and

daughters

can't also

be your

spiritual

sons and

daughters

as you

live out

the life

of faith

before them

and invest

and point

them to

Jesus

all the

time

but let's

be clear

in the

realm of

eternity

the only

thing worth

anything

is

spiritual

sons and

daughters

spiritual

brothers and

sisters

through faith

in Jesus

Christ

and we

come into

land with

this and I

think it's a

helpful place

to land

there's real

hope

because whether

you're married

in this life

or not

whether you

have that

big wedding

day with

the big

dress

feeding loads

of people

that most

of whom you

don't even

know

whether you

have that

or not

there is

the great

hope in

Jesus that

everyone will

be present

at

participate

in

and be

central to

a wedding

which will

blow all

other weddings

out of the

water

revelation

Revelation 19:6

19

verse 6

then I

heard what

seemed to

be the

voice of

a great

multitude

like the

roar of

many waters

and like the

sound of

mighty peals

of thunder

crying out

hallelujah

for the

Lord our

God

the almighty

reigns

let us

rejoice

and exult

and give

him the

glory

for the

marriage

of the

lamb

has come

and his

bride

has made

herself

ready

it was

granted her

to clothe

herself

with pure

linen

bright and

pure

for the

fine linen

is the

righteous

deeds

of the

saints

and the

angel

said to

me

write

this

blessed

are

those

who

were

invited

to the

marriage

supper

of the

lamb

and he

said to

me

these

words

these

are the

true

words

of

God

that's

where

we're

all

heading

to

that

wedding

day

where

we

are

not

only

invited

but

also

involved

and so

all

other

marriages

are just

a foreshadowing

and a

warm up

act

for that

day

so

whether

you

have

one

or

not

in

the

light

of

eternity

it

will

not

matter

let

me

pray

father

god

thank you

that

jesus

makes

everything

different

that

he

makes

everything

new

that

he

brings

sure

and

certain

hope

father

that

it

means

that

in

him

we

truly

are

family

and

because

that

is

true

no

one's

missing

out

father

no

one's

getting

second

best

but

lord

if

we

have

jesus

we

have

all

that

we

need

father

thank

you

that

you

bless

us

in

an

innumerate

number

of

ways

father

you

give

us

each

other

father

you

give

us

every

good

and

perfect

thing

so

at

the

end

of

this

day

no

matter

where

we

find

ourselves

the

status

we're

occupying

at

present

father

we

want

to

say

that

we

trust

you

father

we

love

you

and

that

our

heartfelt

cry

is

that

you

would

have

your

way

with

us

lord

whatever

you

planned

and

chosen

we

want

to

sign

up

to

that

and

say

that

is

call

with

us

and

father

that

you

would

take

us

and

bring

glory

to

your

name

through

whatever

we

do

whoever

we're

with

whatever

that

looks

like

father

may

Jesus

be

our

all

in

all

and

everything

else

be

framed

in

light

of

that

father

bless

us

and

help

us

to

be

church

father

bless

us

and

help

us

to

love

you

most

we

pray

this

in

Jesus

name

who

is

our

ultimate

who

is

the

one

who's

loved

us

more

than

we

could

ever

imagine

and

the

one

in

whom

we

find

all

our

completeness

and

all

of

our

joy

Amen