Loving Presence: A Father's Day Message

Well, let's open up again, if you don't mind, before the message this morning

in prayer one more time, if we could.

Father, we want to thank you today that you are good, that you are light,

and in you there is no darkness at all.

Help us today to become more like you, Lord. Help us to love the way you love.

Help us to share the way you share and to be present, Lord, the way that you're present with us.

Help us, earthly fathers, Lord, to become mirror images of your heavenly presence

today, Lord, in Jesus' name.

Amen. Amen. Well, I have to say today, happy Father's Day.

Happy Father's Day. There's a lot of talk in our culture today about toxic masculinity.

Have you heard that phrase before, right? Toxic masculinity.

That's floating around in the culture. And I would just want to say this morning

that any way of life or worldview that isn't grounded in self-giving love becomes

toxic. Did you know that?

Toxicity really is not limited to masculinity. There is such a thing as toxic femininity too, right?

And you can take it across the board, but just about anything can become toxic,

like religion, politics, work, culture, relationships. It all can become toxic.

And when something is toxic, it's harmful, is it not? It's negative and it's destructive.

And Jesus actually taught us in his word that Satan, who is God's enemy and

our enemy too, right, actually works in the world to make things toxic.

Think about John 10, verse 10. What does it say? The enemy comes to what?

John 10:10

Steal, kill, and destroy. The enemy has destroyed masculinity and tricked us

into believing false versions of it.

And the false version of masculinity encourages men to suppress or hide their

emotions, maybe appear, you know, avoid appearing vulnerable, right?

We don't like that, you know, when we think about those type things,

but that can be toxic because we're saying we don't need anybody.

And certainly when you do that, it's like we don't need God as well.

Always be dominant or in control. Handle problems on our own without seeking

help from others when it's needed.

And to devalue, some people do this, devalue and even want to control outcomes,

including other people, women, et cetera, right?

And so all those things can be toxic, but those versions of masculinity would definitely be toxic.

But the reason they're toxic, and I want y'all to miss this today,

Eastwood, is because none of them are rooted in the character of God.

None of them are rooted in God's character. We don't see anything like that

in the life or teaching of Jesus, who himself, by the way, is the perfect example of masculinity.

And in this culture, in our world today, we need men who are going to stand

up in Christ and lead like men.

God has called you to lead, by the way, and you need to lead in his love,

in his self-giving love.

True masculinity is not toxic, but healthy.

And it's also transformative, by the way.

True masculinity, don't miss

this, means being present in the lives of our kids and families. Amen?

True masculinity remains as being seen to be a good listener as much as a talker.

Come on, y'all. Come on. I'm fixing to give you some statistics in a moment.

But true masculinity, in other words, is rooted in self-giving love.

Self-giving love. How do I know this?

Because God, our Father, is ever-present. He's always listening,

right? He's full of self-giving love.

And everyone here, by the way, is created in whose image?

God's image, right? Genesis 127, the Bible says, God created mankind in his own image.

In the image of God, he created them, male and female. He created them.

Okay? So we look at that. Everybody here in this place today has the ability

through the gentle presence of the Holy Spirit, right?

Working in and through us to become like him. And even, dare I say it, parent like him.

We need men and fathers who are present as God is present, who listen as God

listens, and who offer themselves, again, in self-giving love to lead their families

and who lead that way as the head of the home.

God has given you a charge to be the head of the home and to do it in a way

that is self-giving love that God has ordained for you to do.

So I have to look at today. We'll break it down. Now, number one,

why are fathers so important?

That anybody heard of Google?

You could go home this afternoon and Google the impact that a loving and present

father has on his family.

And studies are very consistent, by the way. The presence of a loving and supportive

father makes a huge difference in the life of a child.

Children, here's a few of those. Children with supportive and involved fathers

tend to have better relationships with their peers and healthier emotional regulation.

They also tend to perform better academically with fewer behavioral problems.

A supportive and involved father tends to emphasize rules, justice, discipline,

which can help a child understand the consequences of their action and develop

that sense of responsibility fathers tend to have a different parenting style compared to mothers,

i didn't hear an amen but but they do which provides their children with diverse

experiences right i mean god after all we saw created them male and female right,

they're they're god ordained the family.

And he put it that way for a reason. And fathers tend to encourage sometimes

risk-taking and independence, while mothers a lot of times may offer nurturing and emotional support.

The combination just of those general styles helps that child develop a well-rounded approach to life.

And overall, supportive and involved fathers benefit their children in crucial

ways, church, for their physical, for their emotional, for their social,

even for their academic and development, right?

And conversely, though, children without a supportive and involved father,

do you know what studies show? They tend to have lower self-esteem,

more fragile emotional security overall.

They may feel abandoned, even struggle more with their emotions.

Students children from fatherless homes tend to do poorer academically and more

likely to drop out of high school.

They have lower scores on reading and math tests,

and that lower performance academically can actually extend into adulthood believe

it or not affecting their professional qualifications and job prospects in the future even.

All these are studies that have borne this South, and a significant percentage

of youth in prison come from fatherless homes. Did you know that?

Children who grow up without a father, they're more likely to enter into partnerships

early, experience higher rates of divorce, and have children outside of marriage.

And that cycle, y'all, can perpetuate a cycle of that instability and disadvantage, if you will.

And it's important, I think, to note this morning as we look at these statistics

that these statements are generally true.

If you're a single mother or you grew up in a household without the presence

of a loving and supportive father, whatever the case might be,

it doesn't mean you're destined for a negative outcome.

Every family is unique. And many single-parent households, they do thrive because

of the presence of love, stability, support for the single parent,

maybe through their extended family, church family, friends,

all of it working together.

But these statements do emphasize to us today the importance of a loving and

present father and the impact it has upon the family.

So important, guys. So important. And number two, fathers need to be present as God is present.

And y'all, when I preach out here to you guys, you know it hits me first,

right? It goes through me first.

We need to be present as God is present. One thing God always gives us is what?

His presence. Does he not?

He is always with us. Presence, I want y'all to get this today,

guys. Presence is a mark of fatherhood.

Consider these scriptures. This comes from God's holy word, okay?

Let's get to the real mate here, okay? Deuteronomy 31, verse six.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them.

For the Lord your God goes with you.

He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Psalm 23, verse four.

Hey, we've been studying Psalm 23 and VBS, right? Even though I walk through

the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me.

Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Our kids, as Miss Becky was saying, had the opportunity to experience that in

the hallway with a tornado warning.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

you're going to be with me. You protect me. You comfort me, right?

Psalm 139, 7 through 10. Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you're there. If I make my bed in the depths, you're there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there, your hand will guide me and your right him will hold me fast.

Matthew 28 verse 20, and surely I am with you always to the very end of the age.

Matthew 28:20

So we see in these passages of scripture church that God is always what? Present with us.

Did y'all know that? Have you ever thought about it? God's always present with you.

That means when you think that God don't see and you're in, maybe you're in

this, you have your door locked or something and you're in your dark room or

whatever you think God don't see you.

This tells us here in his word, God's always with us.

Always with us. You can't get away from his love. You just can't. He's always there.

You never leave the presence of God. In the Old Testament, people went to the

temple to be close to God.

But now, church, in the new covenant, God, guess what, has put his presence where?

Inside of us through the Holy Spirit, right?

We can't leave his presence. We need to, as the old monk used to say,

Brother Lawrence, practice the presence of God every day because he's with us, right?

In other words, would you do something throughout the day if you thought that

you could get away with it?

God wasn't looking. I mean, you think about that. Are you practicing his presence?

There's decisions you make in the light of God is with you always,

always. It doesn't matter where you go.

You can't run away from God in that sense. He's always there and he'll never

leave us. He'll never forsake us.

Y'all, you probably have stories in your life, But I remember a time in my life

when it was a very dark season.

And I remember a lot of things were ganging up and coming down.

And I just went on a prayer walk. Y'all ever done that?

You go on a prayer walk down through the woods. You may have some woods around where you live.

You go on a prayer walk. And I was just praying, Lord, this is a job too big for me.

This is only for you, Lord. I don't know what you'll do, but God,

I'm giving up as far as my control over it. I have none really.

And Lord, I ask that you help me in this time. and i never felt the presence

of god so strong y'all and god worked that situation out beautifully,

not because i deserved it but because he as a loving heavenly father was present

there and he moved he moved in that situation

and i i felt his presence in that and i want y'all to see today that god has a heart.

Also for those whose fathers are not present. Now, I pray today every father

represented here today has been present and still is present in your family.

But maybe a time in your life, maybe even before you knew Christ,

that you weren't present like you should have been.

But some people don't have the blessing that some of us have, right, or have had.

Fathers are not presents. And I think presence is such an important thing with God.

He wants you to know that he's always there. He's always with you.

And the Bible actually teaches us, church, that God has a heart for those whose

fathers are not present. Did you know it says that in his word? We'll see that.

God says, actually, in Exodus 22, verses 22 and 23, God says that he hears the

Exodus 22:22

cries of those whose fathers are not present. Listen to this.

Do not take advantage, it says, of the widow or the fatherless.

If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry.

God looks after those. In Deuteronomy 10, 18, this is a great verse.

The Bible says, he defends the cause of the fatherless.

Psalm 68, verse 5 says, a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,

Psalms 68:5

is God in his holy dwelling.

Do you think God cares about those who are fatherless and those who are widows?

We can add that too, right?

He cares. So let's talk just a little bit more this morning about how to be present.

I mean, God has a heart for those whose fathers are not present.

But for those of us maybe who are trying to walk in the ways of God to be present,

how can we be even more present?

One practice I think today, church, practically to be in present is just to

be a better listener. winner.

I thought I'd hear a lot of amens from the ladies out there,

but be a better listener.

When we listen, we're what? We're paying attention, are we not?

We're focusing on someone and giving them space where? In our hearts and our minds.

To be a listener means that what? We put down our technology and eliminate distractions

that inhibit relationship. That's the bottom line.

We need, in other words, let me make it plain, to put down our cell phones,

to shut off the television, to get rid of whatever noise is distracting us and

really listen and be present with our kids,

with our spouse, and anyone else that we love and we want to deepen a relationship with. Amen?

So I got to ask y'all today, how good a listener are you?

Do you, I got some questions for us today. Do you interrupt? Do you interrupt?

Do you wait for someone to stop talking so that you can begin talking?

Do you make eye contact and avoid distractions? Do you restate what you hear,

somebody say in order to understand?

Do you really know what's going on in the mind and heart of the one you love? That's the question.

Listening, y'all, is the best way to practice presence.

Listening is critical, y'all, for relationship, guys.

I want to encourage y'all today to become a better listener.

Become a better listener this week.

Most of us, by the way, this is for everybody, most of us can be better at listening, can we not?

Studies actually show that when two people are having a conversation,

each person is talking 60% of the time.

I got to say that again. Studies show that when two people are talking to one

another, each person is talking 60% of the time.

That means what? We spend a lot of our time talking over one another and interrupting one another.

And I got to say today, guys, toxic masculinity doesn't listen well.

True masculinity, if we're following in the steps of our Father, Heavenly Father,

the kind that is christ-like and godly serves the one in front of them in humility

in humility teaches them to listen more than they talk right,

we need to listen more than we talk and i'm sure y'all heard it before you know

that's why god gave us two ears and one mouth right,

should be a lesson right if you become if i become a better listener.

Come on, guys, don't miss this. Your marriage will improve. Your relationships

with your kids will improve. Your friendships will deepen.

Listening, y'all, is an act of humility.

It really is. It's an act of humility. God is always available to hear our prayers. Why?

Because he loves us. He's humble, too, in that.

God listens to our cries. Remember, God is ever-present and always listening.

And we're being renewed into the image of our creator, it says.

Listen to this. This is found in Colossians 3, 9 and 10.

He says, you have taken off your old self with its practices and put on the

new self, which is being renewed in the knowledge in the image of its creator. Wow.

Let's take off our old selves, y'all, and seek to talk, that seek to talk and

dominate conversations, right?

That old way of life, and instead put on our new self, which listens, what, in humility.

Y'all, when we do this, guess what? Others will begin to realize that we have

their best interest in mind, right?

And that we're a safe person for them, right?

Because we show them that kind of humility and respect. Y'all,

we all need to learn the art of listening, do we not?

Did you know the art of listening is so important, even in our evangelism,

when we share Christ with other people.

You know, I think sometimes we do have a, we're excited to share the gospel,

but I think there are times that people feel like, oh, you got to just share

all of it at once and you got to dominate the conversation, right?

That's not it. We need to listen.

We need to learn where the other person is coming from. God loves us,

y'all, and he cares for us.

So let's be a better dad for Jesus. Let's pray.