Being Walking Questions Marks

Wonderful. Well, good morning, everyone. It's lovely to have you with us today. Thank you so much for joining in.

Thank you, Archie, for leading us this far and Danny for reading that passage in Ephesians 5 for us.

Let me encourage you to grab a Bible or get it on a screen on your phone or something like that and come with me to God's Word.

And thank you so much, Archie, for praying for us as well as we come to this text this morning.

So Ephesians chapter 5. And as we dive in today, let me tell you about a guy I once heard about during my time at university.

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

And it was common knowledge, apparently, that the girls in his class had a nickname for him.

OK, ready for this? They had a nickname for him. They called him the Untouchable, which probably when you say like that sounds a bit harsh.

But stick with me. Here's why they called him the Untouchable.

So where they were kind of joking around in class, as they were mucking around down the pub,

when they were out and about doing their usual thing in the clubs in town,

when they were interested in scoring with the boys,

oh, this guy was there. This guy was a laugh. This guy was their friend.

And though they would have loved for him to have joined in,

it became so crystal clear because this guy was a follower of Jesus.

That he just wasn't up for playing ball.

Right? So they called him the Untouchable.

Question for you. Why would somebody choose to live differently?

Why would somebody choose not to get involved?

Who would choose to be the kind of person that I always call in my mind,

I call a walking question mark?

Right? You ever met somebody like that where you kind of watch them in action and you try and figure out what makes them tick

and you conclude to yourself, I just can't figure them out?

Walking question mark.

Yeah, thing is, Ephesus,

this letter written to the Ephesian Christians,

Ephesus, I'm sure, is full

of walking question marks.

Come with me, picture this scene.

Right? Imagine Chris the Christian.

Right? You got him in your head?

Chris the Christian.

Right? One morning,

there's a knock at his door.

And it's his friends.

Chris, mate, how you doing?

How you doing?

Listen, we're off into town.

Just taking a wee stroll.

You coming?

You know, plan is,

we'll take a stroll.

We'll see some friends.

We'll take a trip to the temple of Artemis.

We'll wander about,

maybe make some money,

maybe even pick up a girl at the temple

and we'll get up to some mischief.

I mean, come on, bro.

You love this stuff.

Grab your coat.

Grab your coat.

I'm all waiting.

Make a day of it.

And Chris replies,

Guys,

no thanks.

That just

isn't really me anymore.

And his mates

look at each other bemused.

Right?

What's getting him?

What's happening to crazy Chris?

Remember this guy that used to live for this stuff?

What's happened?

Question,

what explains

21st century uni guy

and

1st century Chris?

Right?

What explains it?

Well, here's what I love.

Question mark.

Ephesians chapter 5

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

gives us

an exclamation mark.

Right?

Here's why I love this passage.

This passage explains

why you would choose to do that.

Okay?

Ephesians 5 explains it.

Come with me to verse chapter 1.

Here is the central idea

of this passage.

Paul

says to these believers,

he says,

be imitators of God.

Right?

Friends,

get that in your

lungs.

Right?

Be imitators

of God.

And here's,

I think,

the logic

of what he's trying to get them to see

at verse 1.

Okay,

you ever notice that

you kind of pick up things

from your parents?

You ever notice that in your life?

Right?

I remember the first time

somebody said to me,

they said,

see when you get excited,

have you ever noticed,

have you ever stopped to think

about why

you rub your hands together?

Right?

What's that all about?

Do you know what?

Never occurred to me before.

Never occurred to me before.

But do you know what?

The next time I went home,

watching the football one night,

I hear a rub of the hands

coming from the other sofa.

Right?

Hear the hand rub.

It's my dad.

And I go,

oh,

that's where I get

the hand rub thing from.

You know,

those kind of things

that we pick up

from our parents.

So when Paul says here

at verse 1,

he says,

imitate God.

Do you see what he's saying?

He's saying,

as God's children,

right?

Be like your heavenly father.

Pick up his character traits.

Be like him.

And so it follows,

if you jump on the train of thought,

we'll go to where it's going.

Where's the train going?

That if your father is holy,

that if your father is light,

if your father is so far above

the things of this earth,

and if your father is the very essence of love,

well,

like father,

like son.

Okay?

Mimic your heavenly father.

Reflect your heavenly father.

You want to know what that looks like?

Have a look at the son.

Have a look at the Christ who came and showed us perfectly the father.

Right?

It means when we're looking at Jesus in action in the gospels,

we are gazing deep into the very heart of God.

There's no inconsistency between the two.

Jesus Christ who gave himself up for us.

Do you see the language there?

Fragrant offering.

The sacrifice.

It's Leviticus language.

Christ,

the perfect offering for our sin.

Pleasing in God's sight.

What does that mean?

It means that we are right with our God.

We are known by our creator.

His spirit dwells within us.

It means that we are his new people of light.

We are his children of light.

And so Paul says,

imitate your heavenly father.

Be holy as he is holy.

Right?

Imitate him in the marketplace.

Imitate him as you spend time with your mates.

Imitate him as you play your sport.

Imitate him as you do business.

Imitate him.

Do you see,

Paul is no advocate of come out and hide.

This is staying and shine.

Staying and shine.

Christ,

and I take it that's what's going on in verse 14,

as Christ shines on us.

Staying and shine.

I mean,

how good was that moon last night?

Do you see it?

People texting me,

look at the moon,

look at the moon.

It never happens.

But how good was that moon last night?

Really simple question.

Do you know why the moon is bright?

Right?

Kind of primary school question,

really,

but go with me.

Do you know why the moon is bright?

Because the sun shines in it.

Okay?

And I like to play this game

in the darkness,

right?

There it is.

I like to play this game.

There is the moon going,

wow.

Right?

Hey,

hey,

don't look at me.

Don't look at me.

I'm just rock dust and craters.

Don't look at me.

Look at the sun.

Look at the one who is shining on me.

Look how great he is.

He's lit me up.

How great is the sun?

I'm already reflecting about three to 12% of his light.

I Googled it,

right?

How great is the sun?

Paul says,

shine for Christ.

Imitate him as Christ shines on you,

right?

Be walking question marks in your city of Ephesus.

And what's that going to look like?

Well,

let's move,

if you like,

from the general principle to the specific application.

Because Paul puts his finger on one area in particular,

where to imitate God will mean,

boy,

these Ephesians are going to stand out like a sore thumb.

Right?

And it's this whole area of how they conduct themselves sexually.

Okay?

Ephesus,

this is a highly sexualized culture.

Right?

What was that?

What's that song from the 90s that Salt-N-Pepa sang?

Right?

Let's talk about sex.

It was one of the anthems of the 90s,

right?

Lyrics.

Now we talk about sex on the radio and video shows.

Many will know that anything goes.

Right?

They loved that song in Ephesus in the first century.

Loved it.

Right?

Virgin women at the temple helping you worship.

They're offering you a sacred sexual encounter.

A culture where you're encouraged to kind of just let your desires go.

And the more you do that,

the more that you're living.

And these Christians are caught up right in the middle of that.

Okay?

In a previous life,

they saw no issue with this.

They said,

what's the problem?

Bring it on.

But do you see how Paul writes at verse 8?

He says,

you were once darkness.

Right?

That was you.

You were there.

No spiritual lights on in your life.

This used to be you.

But now,

verse 8,

you are light in the Lord.

God has switched the spiritual lights on in your life.

And Christ has shined.

He's shining on you.

So to be an imitator of God in Ephesus,

to be a walking question mark,

what is that going to mean?

Specifically in this highly sexualized culture,

I just want us to see two things.

Okay?

Firstly,

it's going to mean them saying no to the darkness.

No to the darkness.

Right?

In terms of their walk and in terms of their talk.

So see verse 3,

the things that he specifically mentions.

Right?

When it comes to their walk.

And I assume that these things are all connected.

Back to our central theme.

Sexual immorality,

impurity,

covetousness.

And then when it comes to their talk,

do you see verse 4?

No filthiness,

no foolish talk,

no crude joking.

And I take it that these are telltale signs

that the people who are living in these things

have refused God's reign,

are living in darkness,

and are deserving of God's wrath.

Paul said they've got no place

amongst God's holy people.

And so do you see how radically different

these Christians will be

simply by using the word no.

not because they've moved out of Ephesus,

but because God's spirit has moved into them.

They're going to be walking question marks

in their city.

And so the question becomes,

what will it mean to be a walking question mark

in our city

in terms of our walk and our talk?

And really,

it's not going to look any different,

is it?

I mean,

to believe in the goodness

of God's design for sex,

that this is a good gift from Him,

that He's designed to be enjoyed

in the context of a marriage

between one man and one woman.

And I take it that that term,

sexual immorality,

in the Greek there,

it's almost a catch-all term

for everything that goes on

outside of that framework,

God's good design.

And for us to not just simply

reluctantly go with that design,

but love that design and affirm it.

Flowing from a heart that says,

do you know what,

I'm going to love the people of my city.

I'm going to love my neighbor

who thinks differently to that.

Pursuing them in the same way

that Christ pursues people in the Gospels

and telling them about Jesus.

And all the while,

I'm going to abide by God's blueprint for sex.

No matter how difficult it is,

no matter what it costs me,

because I know the God whose word this is,

I know who He is,

I know that He is my good Father,

and I love Him,

and I trust Him with my life.

How different are you going to look

if you believe that

and live that out?

Which, to be clear, we do.

Walking question marks in our city.

Let me just ask you as we think about this.

Friends, when was the last time

you said no to something

because you wanted to imitate

your Heavenly Father?

Right?

These are tough times that we're living in.

I think this is even more relevant.

Right?

When was the last time you said no

to looking at that website?

Right?

You said no to watching that Netflix drama

that everyone's watching,

that box set that everyone's binging on

because it's got images

that just aren't helpful for me.

It's got scenes that just aren't great

for me to be watching.

When was the last time you said no

to staying over at someone's house?

You know what?

Because it might be a bit more convenient,

but it's just not a wise thing to do.

When was the last time you said no

to joining in the bad banter

in the changing room?

You know, I think so often

our problem in this area

is not that people think we're strange.

Our problem is that people

don't think we're strange enough.

Okay, verse 7.

I take it this is caught up

in this language here.

Paul was saying,

do not be partners with them.

See that God has called you

to something so much more glorious

and say no because you want to imitate

your glorious heavenly Father.

And I had the words of that old hymn

by William Cowper in my head this week.

To see the law by Christ fulfilled

to hear his pardoning voice

changes a slave into a child

and changes duty into choice.

Perhaps you're watching this

and you've got the words

of another song in your head, right?

A song about Coldplay, Chris Martin.

Nobody said it was easy,

but no one ever said

it would be this hard.

And friends, I take it.

I know that this is not easy.

We have all made mistakes.

We all have regrets.

We all are broken.

I know I certainly am

in one way or another

when we come to think about

this whole area of sex.

And I take it that we as a church,

we long to be

the kind of church family

that is listening,

that is supporting,

that is loving,

that is honest

and that genuinely wants

the best for one another,

that's willing to go

the extra mile to help.

And the kind of community

one that is just speaking

the truth of the gospel

into one another's lives

like we thought about

a couple of weeks ago,

just helping one another,

speaking the truth of love

into one another's lives,

reminding ourselves,

each other about our Father

who is all compassion

and who specializes

in creating trophies

of his redeeming grace.

It's reminding one another

about Jesus,

who he is,

as we see him in the gospels.

I love that he's never

running away from people

who have got sexual

question marks above them.

He's never standing over them,

condemning them.

He is moving alongside them

in grace and love

and reminding ourselves

of the holy calling

this God has made

on our lives

and walking with one another

lovingly to the foot

of the cross

as the place

where we will find

forgiveness and life.

Friends,

to be a walking question mark

in this whole area

is going to mean us saying

no to things.

And flip that around

if you like,

that's the defense.

If you flip that around

in the offense here,

to be a walking question mark

is going to mean them saying

yes to the light.

Right?

No to the darkness.

Yes to the light.

Again,

in terms of their walk

and in terms of their talk.

Verse 10,

see what he says.

He says,

find out what pleases the Lord.

Right?

Love that.

Find out.

Get involved.

Use your initiative.

Engage your brain

and get in the word.

Find out.

Find out what pleases

your heavenly Father.

Invite others into your life

who are going to be able

to help you

and lovingly come alongside you.

It's kind of what happens

when you fall in love,

isn't it?

You just find out

what makes the other person happy.

I want to know

what makes them happy.

Right?

What chocolates do they like?

What music are they into?

What hobbies do they have?

What food do they love?

Where do they love to go?

Paul says,

find out what pleases

your heavenly Father.

Find out what pleases

the Lord.

And I do it.

Right?

Verse 4,

come with me.

No obscene talk,

not foolishness,

not crude jokes,

but thanksgiving

should be coming

out of your mouths.

I mean,

how distinctly different,

friends,

if we are a community

that is known

for talk

that is thankful.

Right?

I was reminded this week

of the words

of the late Billy Graham

who said,

a spirit of thankfulness

is one of the most

distinctive marks

of a Christian

whose heart

is attuned

to the Lord.

I heard a cracking story

this week

from a friend Andy

who was telling me

about an older lady

in his congregation

over in Glasgow

and she was telling him

how she was just

really getting quite down

with everything

that was going on

just now

and just finding herself

slipping into

an attitude

of just moaning

about things.

So she decided

to put a stop to it

and try and cultivate

this attitude

of thanksgiving.

So what she made herself

do every day

is to go into her kitchen

and grab her tomato timer.

Right?

Remember those things,

those tomato timers

if you don't remember

what it is

or you're of a younger

generation,

get on Google,

write a tomato timer.

She used to take it

and wind it up

to two minutes

and then sit it down

on the kitchen table

and listen to it

tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

And what she used to do

was take those two minutes

and deliberately list

everything in her life

that she was thankful

to God for

until the tomato timer

ran out.

Love that.

Thanksgiving.

Are we a thankful

people, friends?

Is this what pours forth

from our mouths

thanksgiving

to who our God is?

And then maybe

think about one way

that that might work out

in this whole area

of sexual relationships.

Let me just pitch you

something here.

And there was a comedy film

that came out

a number of years ago,

I think,

starring Steve Carell.

It was a comedy

and it was called

The 40-Year-Old Virgin.

Right?

And it was about

this middle-aged man

who had never had sex

and the whole premise

of the film

was that here is a man

who hasn't lived.

Have pity for him.

He hasn't lived.

It's how the world thinks,

isn't it?

What the world promotes.

Friends,

you see how the Christian

can look at something

like that

and declare

not true.

Not true.

You know,

in the words of

Jackie Hill Perry

who's written so wonderfully

about her journey

as a disciple of Jesus

and discovering

the God of the Bible

in her book

that's called

Gay Girl,

Good God,

she writes,

our sexuality

is not our soul,

marriage is not heaven

and singleness

is not hell.

Right?

The Christian can look

at something like that

and declare

that there is

a better story

that defines my life.

Right?

I'm not defined

by my relationship

status on Facebook

or how I look

or what I've done

in the past

and who I've done it with

or my so-called

future prospects.

I'm not defined

by any of those things.

I am defined

by Jesus Christ

and what God my Father

says is true about me.

And what has God said

is true about us?

Well, I think

this is where we need

to get back to chapter one.

The more I've been

preaching this through,

everything's connected

to the identity

that Paul is out

of the Christian

in chapter one.

Who are you, Christian?

You are one

who has been loved

by God the Father.

You are one

who has been adopted

into his family.

You are one

who has been redeemed

by God the Son

who gave himself

for you.

You are one

who has been sealed

by God the Spirit

with a glorious,

untouchable,

heavenly inheritance

ahead of you.

That is what defines you.

That is what defines you.

It has to do

with these other things.

That is what defines you.

And because of that,

whatever comes our way

in life,

we can say

that I am thankful.

I am thankful to God.

You know,

whoever you are here

watching this today,

maybe you've got huge questions

about this stuff,

but let me just tell you,

friends,

there is only one person,

only one person

who can give us life.

And life to the full

is what he promises.

And his name

is Jesus.

You see,

the Christian

is one

who can say,

whatever my lot,

my heart can say,

it is well

with my soul.

My heart can say,

whatever is going on

in my life,

that Jesus Christ

is enough.

And that's where

we want to be,

isn't it?

That's where we want to be.

That is where life

is to be found,

that Jesus Christ

is enough for me.

Friends,

I take it that

if we try and live this way,

if we are dangerously

different for Christ,

then naturally

the light that shines

from us

is going to expose

the darkness.

I think that's what

Paul's on about

there at verse 13.

It's kind of what happens

if you change a light bulb,

isn't it?

Or stand next to a light bulb.

Oh,

just exposes you,

doesn't it?

I had that experience

the other night,

just changing a light bulb

outside or flashlight.

Vroomf.

That's what happens,

isn't it,

when you're exposed

by the light.

Friends,

that's what we're doing

when we're saying

no to the world's way,

no to the darkness,

and yes to God's way,

yes to the light.

And I think that should

encourage us

in our witness

because when that happens,

even the smallest step

of obedience

to your heavenly Father,

that is the light

invading the darkness

as the world looks in

and says,

I cannot figure that out.

Why would somebody

choose to live that way?

The light is invading

the darkness.

Friends,

so as we close,

let's come back to

our two guys at the top.

What explains

21st century uni guy?

What explains

the untouchable?

And what explains

first century Chris

living his life

as a disciple

of Jesus in Ephesus?

What explains that?

Why would somebody

choose to live

differently?

Why would somebody

not want to get involved?

Why would somebody

choose

to be a walking

question mark?

What's that all about?

Answer,

because they love

Jesus.

They love

their heavenly Father

and their heart's desire

is that they want

to imitate

him.

A song that we

sometimes sing here

and I'm reminded

of this this week

and let's make this

our prayer

as we head into

this week coming.

Refiner's fire.

My heart's one desire

is to be holy.

Set apart for you,

Lord.

I choose to be

holy.

Set apart for you,

my master.

ready to do

your will.

Let's pray together.

Heavenly Father,

I'm so conscious,

Lord,

of the many

questions that will

come out of this

passage today,

of the many

different experiences

that we'll have,

of the many

different current

places that we'll

find ourselves in,

and the many

different situations

that we're each

trying to work out.

And I pray,

Father,

that you would

help us each

today by your

Spirit who lives

in us.

Help us

remember the

gospel.

Help us remember

Jesus Christ

and him

crucified.

And a gospel

that is the power

of God unto

salvation.

And it's the power

for us to

change.

So,

Father,

help us today.

Thank you that you

are the God of all

comfort.

And I pray,

Father,

that as your

word goes forth

today,

that your Spirit

would both

challenge us

who need to be

challenged,

and would comfort

us who need to

be comforted.

Oh,

our Father,

we want all the

glory to be to

you this week

in our lives.

Help us to

imitate you.

In Jesus' name

we pray.

Amen.