Signing Up to be a Disciple

Well, thank you so much, Al, and to everyone who's participated in our service thus far.

Folks, great to have you with us this morning.

Let me encourage you to have those verses in Ephesians chapter 5 and 6 open in front of you.

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

And let me just begin by telling you about a mate that I had in halls at uni.

His name is Dave.

We call him Army Dave, right?

Differentiate him from all the other Daves that were in the halls, right?

We call him Army Dave.

And you can probably guess from that what the defining feature of Dave's life was, right?

He was almost a poster boy of the OTC, right?

So the Officer's Training Corps, which is kind of like the student branch of the Army.

Dave is a poster boy of the OTC, and Dave loved it, right?

Loved it.

If I remember being out one day playing football with my mates in the park,

and seeing, spotting the OTC in another part of the park doing their thing.

Now, I say I spotted them.

Before I spotted them, I heard them.

Heard them.

I remember looking, and there was a man in the middle with a whistle, which was strange.

But what was even more strange is that these people were doing exactly what he was telling them to do, right?

He would say jump, and they'd jump.

He would say march, and they'd march.

He would say drop, and what was it?

Give me 20, and down they'd go.

And I remember looking at these guys, thinking to myself,

wooft, that's pretty hardcore, isn't it?

Here's the thing.

To sign up to follow Jesus,

to be his disciple,

is to sign up for something way more hardcore than that.

To be a disciple is to sign your entire life over to Christ calling the shots.

And not just over part of your life,

all of your life.

And not just on one day of the week,

but every day of the week.

All of it.

To have Christ call the shots.

And that's true individually,

and it's true corporately for the church.

And for us as a local church,

as local believers,

called to, in our lives together,

express and show

the lordship of Jesus

over every area of our lives.

And we're going to see today,

including those

most personal of our relationships,

that Jesus is king.

Now, if you track back with me in the letter,

to chapter 1, verse 10.

This is kind of the theme sentence, if you like,

that runs over the book of Ephesians.

What God is doing in the world.

His chapter 1, verse 10,

his plan for the future,

to unite everything in heaven and on earth,

in Jesus Christ,

and Jesus as his risen king,

the plan is to have everything under his lordship.

That's the plan for the fullness of time.

It's where the future's going.

And as the church today,

the call for us

is to be a community

where in our relationships with one another,

we submit to Jesus Christ

as he rules us through his words.

Have Christ call the shots

in our community.

And so with Army Dave

and all his wee hardcore mates

in your minds,

come with me to verse 21 of chapter 5,

which is the headline verse

containing the headline verb

of this whole little section.

You ready for this?

Come with me.

Submitting to one another

out of reverence for Christ.

Now you catch that?

What's the verb submitting?

Right?

And sometimes our headings in our Bibles,

remember they're not inspired,

the word is.

Those headings are sometimes in the wrong place.

This might be one of those examples

where the divisions don't help us

because that word submitting

goes with the section just before.

Now the Greek word there

means to voluntarily put yourself

under the control of another.

Right?

That's what it means to submit.

And do you see how

that is the fruit

of being filled with the Spirit?

Now do you see how

it's the last of the four verbs

at verse 18

which Paul pulls out

as being the hallmarks

of a Spirit-filled community?

Addressing one another

in Psalms and hymns

and spiritual songs.

Here's number one.

Addressing.

Singing and making melody

to the Lord with your heart

is number two.

Giving thanks.

Here's number three

and here's number four.

Submitting to one another

out of reverence for Christ.

So to submit

is to be somebody

who is filled with the Spirit.

I love that.

It's not in ecstatic things.

It's in the nitty-gritty details

of your life.

Filled with the Spirit.

So to submit to Jesus

is to allow Him

to recalibrate

how we think

in terms of our relationships

with one another.

Right?

So this is what

we're going to see today.

To have Jesus

as the Lord of your life.

To have Him

calling the shots.

He's going to call you

to be a different kind of wife.

And He's going to call you

to be a different kind of husband.

And a different kind of young person.

And a different kind of parent.

And a different kind of slave.

And a different kind of master.

Now remember,

all these relationships

are going on

in the one church.

But most likely,

all of these relationships

might be going on

in the one home.

And it's as if Jesus is,

Paul is getting into picture,

He's,

Jesus is walking up

to the door of your home.

And He's ringing the doorbell.

Ding dong, ding dong.

And the call is to open the door

and let Him walk into your family life.

Walk into your home.

Let Christ call the shots

in your lives.

Now,

let me just deal with Dumbo.

Okay?

Who is the elephant

in the room

of this section.

Right?

Always good to deal with Dumbo.

And to acknowledge

that this couldn't be

any more

counter-cultural.

You don't need me

to tell you that.

But we're just dealing with Dumbo.

This couldn't be any more

counter-cultural.

In our day,

this stuff about

husbands and wives

and family and work,

it runs so deeply

against the grain

of how our society

thinks and operates.

But here's the thing

that we need to appreciate.

That what Paul writes here

is equally as

counter-cultural

in his day.

In fact,

I would go so far

as to say that

this is revolutionary

at the time of when

he's writing.

But we need to appreciate

that the cultural

pendulum,

generally speaking,

is on the other side.

Right?

To the one that we

maybe find ourselves

in today.

So this Greco-Roman

first century culture

where this letter

is written,

the individuals

who were considered

lowest down

the social ladder,

women,

children,

and slaves.

So notice with me

who,

when he addresses

these three relationships,

notice who he addresses

first.

Wives,

children,

and slaves.

Do you see it?

Do you see it?

How counter-cultural

that is.

I've got

lots of friends

who've worked for

big companies

in their lives.

Right?

Kind of Amazons,

your direct line

call centers,

that kind of thing.

And what they always

said to me

at the time was,

you know,

when it comes to

my work there,

just a number.

I'm just a number.

No one's asking me.

No one cares

if I'm there.

No one's looking

at what I'm doing.

I'm just kind of

caught up

in the collective.

Right?

Nobody cares.

I love how

Paul

addresses

wives,

children,

and slaves

as individuals.

Right?

It's almost as if

he was here,

if he was walking

around this church,

these churches,

he would be

addressing them

by name.

Right?

To you,

this is what it says.

To you,

this is what this says.

See what it's saying.

But do you see

how Paul is,

in doing this,

he's bestowing

on these individuals

a real counter-cultural

dignity.

And he's massaging

home the truth

that we saw

earlier in this letter,

that they are all

part of Jesus'

one body,

and together

in the way

that they relate

to one another,

they are called

to live in such

a way that

demonstrates to

Ephesus

that Jesus

is Lord here.

So,

let's get into this,

shall we?

And first up,

friends,

we have got

a Valentine's Day

special.

How about this?

Look what he says,

first of all.

He goes for the marriage.

See it?

Let Christ call the shots

in your marriage.

Come with me

to verse 32.

I think this is key

for us to see

if we're to grasp

what he's saying

and we don't lapse

into moralism.

Okay?

We need to see

that as he talks

and addresses

and thinks about

husbands and wives

that Paul has got

the ultimate

marriage in mind.

Okay?

The marriage

between Christ

the groom

and the church,

his bride.

Now,

do you see that?

It's not

our marriages

down here

that the reality

and that's a useful

metaphor to call upon.

It is completely

the other way around.

And this has always

been God's

created intention.

I think that is

why he quotes

from Genesis 2 there.

So,

this is God's design.

This is what it's

been all about.

About Christ

and the church.

There's a much bigger

game that you're

playing in.

And so,

the way husbands

and wives,

the way I'm praying,

the way I want you

to live,

relate to one another,

love one another,

you have to do it

in such a way

that spotlights

and showcases

and reflects

the ultimate marriage.

The one that's

eternal,

the one that's

permanent,

the one that's

glorious.

And so,

to the married

woman in this

church,

he says,

in the same way

that the church

submits to Christ,

I urge you

to reflect that

by choosing

to submit

to your husband.

Now,

let me just clarify

before we get on to

what that does mean.

Let me just clarify

what it doesn't mean.

Okay?

It's good.

Grandpa used to use

this phrase,

hee-haw,

right?

Meaning nothing.

Hee-haw to do

with a wife's

inferiority,

right?

And you,

the people have

horribly abused this

over the years.

Nothing to do

with that.

And that's clear

if you want an

example of this.

If you look at

the life of Jesus,

I love how he is

almost the model

for both the wife

and the husband here.

The one fully

and equally with God,

and yet what do we

see him doing

in John's Gospel

in the Garden of

Gethsemane?

What are the words

from his mouth?

Not my will,

Father,

not my will,

but yours be done.

Submits himself

to the will of his

father.

And equally,

it's nothing to do

with the husband's

superiority,

right?

And Paul's going

to make that

crystal clear

about what he says

next.

What this is,

is husbands and

wives both equally

and wonderfully

made in God's

image and called

to play their

distinctive and

complementary parts

in showcasing

the ultimate

marriage.

And so Paul says,

this one does mean,

I think,

wives bring all

your gifts and

abilities that God

has given you

to your marriage.

And in the same

way that the church

submits to Christ,

I want you to

choose to submit

to affirm

and support

and encourage

and look to

and respect

the loving

and sacrificial

leadership

of your husbands.

And I love this,

it was Elizabeth

Elliott who,

I love this quote,

right?

She said,

the fact that I'm

a woman does

not make me a

different kind of

Christian.

But the fact that

I'm a Christian,

it does make me a

different kind of

woman.

And Paul's calling

Christian husbands

to be equally as

radical here.

Okay?

Husbands in this

time,

you read around in

this,

household codes of

the day,

husbands would

never have expected

to be addressed

here.

and certainly

wouldn't have

been asked,

wouldn't have

expected to be

asked to do

what Paul tells

them to do.

It's probably why

they get a bit

more air time

in this section.

Because husbands,

the command,

what he writes,

is to love

your wives.

And it's in the

same way that

Christ

sacrificially

loved

and shed

his blood

on the cross

to win,

to redeem,

to buy for

himself his

bride.

That's how

you're to do

it.

Wow.

Wow.

And I take it

if you're a

husband listening

in today,

friends,

all of us,

we need to

feel the beauty

and the weight

of what he

calls us to

do.

Now,

we don't have

time to do

justice to

kind of every

glorious detail

and image there.

You do that

in your own

time.

But let me

just pick out

one.

Okay?

Verse 28 and

29.

In the same

way,

husbands should

love their

wives as

their own

bodies.

Flowing into

verse 29.

For no one

ever hated

his own

flesh,

but he

nourishes

it and

cherishes

it.

Now,

husbands,

think about

how you

love your

own body.

Right?

Doing it

on the

car on

the way

in today.

Doing a

wee health

checklist of

how I've

got on

over the

last 24

hours.

Right?

Good sleep?

Tick.

Hearty

breakfast?

Tick.

Hair done?

Tick.

Teeth done?

Tick.

Banana just

before I

left for that

little bit of

added energy?

Tick.

Run this

week?

Tick.

Tick,

tick,

tick,

tick,

tick.

Friends,

looking after my

own body comes

very naturally

to me and I'm

sure I'm not

the only one.

Paul says that's

how a Christian

husband should

love his wife.

Which means,

friends,

husbands,

listen to this.

We stop what

we're doing and

we sacrifice

time to listen

to our wives.

We stop what

we're doing,

we listen well.

We stop what

we're doing,

we go out of

our way to

encourage her.

We go the

extra mile to

care for her

and we make it

our job to

lead in such

a way that

we see her

flourish in

terms of being

the person

that God

has made her

to be.

This is a call

to sacrifice

for the life

of your wife.

Husbands,

love her like

you do your

own body.

You know,

I played a little

game this week.

It's called

the Vanity

Challenge.

What I tried

to do is every

minute I spent

looking in the

mirror,

I would try and

spend a minute

listening to

and trying to

act this out

with Alex.

And do you

know what,

friends?

I failed

miserably.

Here is the

call for the

Christian husband

to love

your wife.

And do you

see how Paul

is saying,

husband and

wife,

as you do

this together,

you are

displaying the

ultimate

marriage,

the ultimate

marriage.

And it's so

important that

we've got that

ultimate marriage

in mind because

if we look for

satisfaction,

whoever we are

watching this

today,

we look for

satisfaction in a

marriage relationship,

then we're in

for a massive

fall.

Now, one of

the most popular

Christmas films of

the last 20

years, and some

of you love

this, it's

called Love

Actually,

and it contains

one of the

most cheesy

rom-com lines,

and Hollywood

loves it.

And it's when the

character played

by Andrew

Lincoln, some

of you will

know this scene,

he's there,

he's standing

in the freezing

cold, he's

pretending to be

a carol singer,

he's at the

door, and the

character played

by Keira Knightley

is looking at

him, and he's

holding up signs,

right?

And one of the

signs he holds

up, and this is

the scene, and it

says, to me, you

are perfect.

There's the sign.

Now, let me just

give you five

seconds to have a

little moment

thinking about that,

and enjoying that,

and then let me

burst the bubble.

Friends, do not

buy the lie that

any person can

complete you.

Okay, it's

absolute nonsense.

You know, I'm so

conscious that for

some of us watching

this today, your

experience of

marriage will have

been so painfully

the opposite of

what Paul outlines

here.

And maybe you're

watching this, and

maybe you're

struggling in your

marriage, or you're

struggling thinking,

will I ever be

married?

And do you know

what?

Perhaps lockdown

has just brought

all those things,

all those feelings,

to light again.

But let me

encourage us to

see, as we think

about that scene

in Love Actually,

that the role of

the perfect spouse

has already been

taken.

And newsflash,

it ain't me,

and it ain't you.

Friends, we need

to look to Jesus

Christ.

Whoever you are

here today, if

your trust is in

him, would you

know that you are

in on, and will

one day be gloriously

and fully part

of the ultimate

marriage.

And I love, this

is one of the

things that drew

me to Jesus when

I read about him

in the gospel,

for the first time

when I was young,

that I looked at

him, not a romantic

relationship in sight,

right?

It doesn't matter

what the Da Vinci

Code or the like

says, nothing like

that going on, and

yet here is a man

who is living life

to the full.

Here is a man who

is full of joy as

he basks in knowing

the glory of his

father.

And it was C.T.

Stud to encourage

his wife to say a

little poem to

herself every day.

Dear Lord Jesus,

you are to me

dearer than Charlie

ever could be.

You see, friends,

let Christ call the

shots in your

marriage.

And let him, and

these last two

points will be

quicker, let him

call the shots in

your family.

Right?

Verse 1 of

chapter 6, here is

Paul's plea to the

family children.

He goes, first of

all, again, thinking

what we thought of

earlier, children, and

I think we're to

picture children living

at home and following

Jesus for themselves.

What does he say?

He says, obey your

parents.

And he roots it in

the fifth commandment

as a way of life that

he has orchestrated,

which will see them

flourish and please

us as the Lord.

So young people, if

you're watching this,

know that you can

worship Jesus, you can

honor him simply by

the way that you

love and you obey

your parents.

Isn't that amazing?

You can do that

whoever you are.

And fathers, verse

4, I take it speaking

to them as the one

that he wants to

take the sacrificial

and loving lead in

the home because if

you read around in

this one, men in

this culture have a

habit of being

domineering.

Paul says, do not

provoke your

children or

discourage them

because you've put

heavy burdens and

expectations on them.

But rather encourage

and love and

nurture and

instruct and

pray for and

invest in and

get to know

your children.

And the challenge

is, parents

watching this

today, do we

love our children

like this?

I'll tell you the

little challenge in

my heart over the

last season.

And it's to do with

the comparison game.

You know, I don't

know who started

these things, but

you know how every

year you get those

family newsletters

through the post or

you get them online.

I love reading all

of them, but you

read some of them

and you think to

yourself, that is

just a brag about

your children.

Right?

You know the kind

of thing.

Julie's doing

classics at

Cambridge and Mark

has been made

captain of the

football team and

baby Dave spoke

his first word last

month and that word

had 16 syllables in

it.

You know that kind

of thing.

And I find my

heart can be so

easily dragged away

from my primary

calling as a

Christian parent.

Then all of a

sudden my little

girl goes to play

her first ever

tennis lesson and

in my head I'm

thinking her first

shot, why is she

not Serena

Williams?

Come on!

How my heart can

get dragged away

from something as

simple as a photo

on Facebook.

Do you see the

call here,

friends, as

Christian parents

that our primary

objective, our

primary desire for

our children should

be that they come

to know Jesus,

that they love

him, that they

know him.

And flowing from

that, my job as a

parent is to put

all the Jesus

shaped kindling

around the fire

that I can of

their hearts and

live out in front

of them a vibrant

love for and need

for the Lord

Jesus saying sorry

to my children when

I've got it wrong

and praying that

the Holy Spirit

would take the

kindling around the

fire and

ignite it.

That's our desire

for our children.

You know, I love

John Wesley who

famously said about

his mum,

Susanna,

he said about her

looking back on his

life that he

meant he learned

more about

Christianity from

her than he did

from all the

theologians in

England.

Let Christ call

the shots in your

family.

And lastly, let

Christ call the

shots in your

work.

As you see in

verse 5, he

speaks to slaves.

And you can

understand that

that's kind of a

broad term that's

describing, can

describe any person

who's under the

authority of

another.

And I guess in

this culture it's

important for us

maybe to discern

that this is a

different thing

from what we'd

imagine and we

see in scenes like

12 years a slave

or Selma.

it's a different

thing.

You've got a

whole economy

here built on

the kind of

master-slave

relationship.

You have up

to, it's

estimated up

to two-thirds

of a Roman

empire were

slaves.

And slaves

could be well

educated professionals

that could be

trained individuals.

You've bankers

are slaves.

You've got

doctors who

are slaves.

So though it's

not identical,

I think we can

draw a lot of

parallels to our

employee-employer

relationships that

we have today.

And look what he

writes to slaves

and see that this

is a heart thing.

It's a heart thing.

Verse 5, what does

he write?

He says, obey.

Obey your

masters.

Work well.

Be known for

your reliability.

Be known for

your integrity.

Be known for

your diligence.

And his

wording, gain a

good reputation

in the eyes of

your master.

Be working,

not just when

they are watching,

but be working

all the time.

All the time.

And if you do

this, you're

going to show

to the world

that you serve

a greater

master, Christ,

who has claimed

you and

changed you.

Knowing that

from him you

will receive

the ultimate

inheritance when

he comes back.

A question to

ask at this

point, isn't

it, is,

friends, if we

think about

our jobs,

what it is we

do with our

lives, those

kind of employee-employer

relationships,

wherever you

happen to

fall in that.

Do people at

work know and

do they see it

in us that we

serve a higher

master?

You know, I

love, I was

reading with my

kids the other

day about

Johann Sebastian

Bach and how

he signed off

every bit of

music that he

wrote with the

letters SDG,

sold the

Gloria, to

God be the

glory.

That's why he

was working,

not for pay,

not for the

plaudits, he

was writing,

composing for

the glory of

God.

Take that with

you this week,

SDG, SDG.

Right, as you

send that email

that nobody will

see, SDG.

Right, as you're

in the hospital,

SDG, you know,

all these things,

to God be the

glory.

Christ has

changed how you

understand what

you do in your

work.

Right, into

masters, he

says, verse 9,

he says, remember

that Christ is

your master

too, and you

need to treat

your slaves

well.

You know, I

love it, back

in 2015, the

online magazine

24-7 Wall

Street, it

published a

list of the

top ten

companies in

America to

work for, and

the only

restaurant that

made it in

there was

Chick-fil-A.

Right, many of

you might know

that that's a

restaurant run

by evangelical

Christians, and

they've got a

reputation for

paying well for

listening to

what their

employees are

saying, to

have a bit

of flexibility

in terms of

work-life

balance, and

because of

that, people

love working

there.

They love

working there.

So, friends,

let Christ

call the

shots in

your work.

And how

different,

friends, this

community then

that Paul is

describing, how

different then

it's going to

look to the

watching world.

This is a

place where

Jesus rules,

and this is

a place where

he is transforming

our relationships

and the whole

goal of our

relationships is

to glorify him.

Just as we

close, let me

just give you

two thoughts

that have been

in my mind as

I've been

praying about

this this

week.

Two thoughts

for you, and

I'll give you

two song lyrics

as well.

Here's thought

number one,

and song

number one.

It's a song

that I used to

listen to a lot

when I was

growing up.

My dad used

to love it on

the radio,

and it was

called

Oolalab

of the

Faces.

Some of you

won't have a

clue what I'm

talking about,

some of you

will love it.

You can Google

it afterwards.

The chorus

went, I wish

that I knew

what I know

now when I

was younger.

I wish

that I knew

what I know

now when I

was younger.

Here's what I

know now.

Having done

this work

thing, marriage

thing, parenting

thing for a

little season

of my life

now, nothing

has revealed

my own sinful

heart and

my need

for God's

gracious

help, quite

like marriage,

parenthood,

and work.

I take it,

friends, all

of us are

going to respond

to this like

that, just

feeling, wow,

as we look

at this.

This isn't

easy.

The question

that you're

probably asking

is how do

we do this?

The answer

here is not

to roll up

our sleeves.

That might

work for a

day or two,

but it's

certainly not

going to

last long.

It's not

going to

result in

transformative

change.

The answer

is not

to roll

up our

sleeves.

The answer

is to get

on our

knees.

And remember

that this

word submitting

is the work

of the Holy

Spirit in

our lives.

This is the

fruit of

his work.

God's

God's

children.

The Spirit

who is

called the

helper.

Friends, I

take it if we

want to see

light in

our marriages,

in our

families,

in our

work, we

see the

light as we

come closer

to the

flame of

Jesus

Christ.

He's given

us the

Holy Spirit

and he's

given us

one another

to help.

friends, if

you've got

questions about

anything that's

been said this

morning or

anything that

you've read,

get in touch.

As a community

we do this

together.

We help one

another and it

would be our

joy to be able

to do that.

Here's the

second thought

then and with

this we close.

And I want to

take you back

to Army Dave.

Remember Army

Dave and his

OTC buddies?

The thing that

struck me about

Army Dave

every time I saw

him was that

he loved the

OTC.

And I mean

loved the

OTC.

Friends, as we

see this, as we

think about

Christ as our

master, as we

think about

submitting and

letting his

word rule over

us, I want

to remind us

just at the

close of the

goodness of

this.

And to see

the goodness

in this.

But then to

see beyond

that and see

the beauty

of the

Christ who

is our

master.

And here's

the second

lyrics and

with this we

close.

There's joy in

serving Jesus.

The words of

the old hymn,

as I journey

on my way,

joy that

fills my

heart with

praises every

hour and

every day.

There is

joy, joy,

joy in

serving Jesus.

Joy that

throbs within

my heart every

moment, every

hour as I

draw upon his

power.

There is

joy, joy,

joy that

shall never

depart.

Friends, there

is joy in

serving Jesus.

Let me pray

as we close.

Oh, Heavenly

Father, all of

us here will

feel the weight

of what we've

read this

morning.

We'll see

both its

glory and

its weight.

And so,

Father, I pray

for whoever is

watching this and

whatever is

going on in

their lives.

Some of the

questions and

some of the

pains that

will be wrapped

up in all of

this stuff.

Father, I pray

that your spirit

would be at

work in each

of our hearts

and in each

of our

situations.

Lord, that you

would help us

submit our

lives to the

lordship of

Jesus.

And we thank

you, Father,

that there is

none like him.

And so,

Father, we pray

for your help

this week as

we seek to

put this into

action.

In Jesus'

precious name

we pray.

Amen.