IKEA Kind of People

Great stuff folks. With God's word open in front of us, remember a number of years ago hearing someone refer to themselves as an Ikea kind of Christian.

Now if you want to get what they're talking about, have a think about the last time that you found yourself building a little bit of flat pack furniture.

So one of your experiences was anything like mine, which happened about three or four weeks ago. I'm trying to build a bed for a spare room.

And if you've had an experience of anything like mine, here was the inner battle I faced every time I turned over a new page of instructions.

In my mind I'm thinking to myself, reading the instructions, thinking to myself, do I really need another daul?

You know what a daul is? You've got to learn the lingo with these Ikea flat packs, haven't you?

Do I really need another daul? Does it really matter that the kind of size of screw that I need to put in that joint?

There's got to be some kind of mistake here because the instructions don't quite seem right to me.

Does it really matter that I've got that head poured back to front and upside down?

Does that really matter for how this thing's going to turn out?

Somebody hand me the phone because I'm calling customer services because these instructions don't quite seem right.

Ever had that experience?

You see, what my friend meant, this person meant, when they called themselves an Ikea kind of Christian,

was that they had seen the goodness in following the Creator's design.

And as we take in this passage in 1 Timothy today, that is Paul's plea to this church in Ephesus,

particularly as he thinks about men and women.

How God has made them purposefully different,

and how they are to wonderfully work together in the church.

This is what this is talking about, in the church, not in the world, in the church.

Now here's two things I think we need to be aware of as we come at a passage like this.

Firstly, we need to be aware of the cultural waters in which we all swim,

and how they have influenced how we automatically think about so much of this stuff.

It's a bit like, if you were to ask a goldfish in a bowl,

and you say, do you like the water in which you're swimming?

And a goldfish would turn around to you if it was able to speak,

and it would say, what's water?

Because sometimes we get so used to, don't we, just the environment in which we live,

that we don't even notice that we are growing up in a certain culture that thinks a certain way.

So we need to be aware of the cultural waters in which we're swimming,

and we need to be aware of the church waters in which we're swimming.

And we should expect the timeless word of the eternal God

to challenge our ever-changing culture in the way it thinks.

We need to be aware of the church waters in which we swim,

because some of us here today, we will have never thought about this stuff,

let alone heard it read.

I think that's fair to say.

Some of us will never have thought about this stuff.

And on the other end of the spectrum,

I'd imagine some of us have grown up in church circles here,

where I don't think I'm exaggerating too much to say this is probably all we talked about growing up.

And so I think what that calls for is you bring our cultural waters in which we're swimming

and the church waters in which we're swimming,

if you bring them together,

friends, what this means is that we come to this passage today with great humility.

And we choose to put ourselves under God's word, not over it.

In other words, we don't tell God's word what it should say.

We listen and we respond appropriately.

And we come at this with a great love for one another.

If nothing else, this passage today, I hope,

by God's spirit, inflames our love for one another

and our desire to see one another flourish.

And so here's my aim today.

I've got one aim.

It's to help us see the beauty

in being IKEA kind of Christians.

Because this little section, remember,

is tied so closely to

verses 1 to 7 of chapter 2,

which was all about

the church sharing God's heart

that the peoples of the world

would come to know Jesus.

It's so closely tied to it.

And I think how the peoples of the world

are going to see us in action

is a big factor in our witness to the world.

So the world should be able to look in and see

a counter-cultural, Christ-like community

of men and women together seeking to glorify God

and enjoy him forever.

So this stuff on men and women

is part of that bigger mission

that we saw in the opening verses of chapter 2.

Now, to get into this today,

come with me and look at chapter 4,

verses 3 to 5.

Opening chapter of this letter,

we thought about the false teaching

that was doing the rounds in Ephesus.

And we kind of get little clues

throughout the letter

as to what the subject

of that false teaching was.

And we get another little snippet here.

Some of the false teaching

that's doing the rounds in this church

is that marriage is a thing to be avoided.

You see it?

Chapter 4, verses 3 to 5.

Some people are saying marriage

is a thing to be avoided.

And you can imagine the spill-on effects

of that kind of teaching.

So I'd imagine it's going something like this.

People are saying truly spiritual people

are the ones who have set themselves free

from the old shackles of God's dusty old design

for men and women.

And why would you subject yourself

to limits on your life?

What you can do, what you can be.

Think about how you can flourish

if you go it on your own.

And imagine that kind of teaching

is going down a storm in Ephesus.

And you can be quick to join the dots

and see that it's a teaching

that would go down a storm in Edinburgh today.

Paul counters this, verse 4, chapter 4.

He says, everything God created is good.

Do you see that?

Everything that God created is good.

And so to this church

who are maybe beginning to believe

the false teaching, he says,

get back to being Ikea kind of Christians

and love it.

And so what he does

is he firstly turns to address

the men in the church.

And here's what he says, verse 8.

Effectively he says,

stop squabbling

and start praying.

It's interesting.

See, when you read Acts 19,

and you can go home

in your own time and do that,

when the gospel first hit Ephesus,

the message of Jesus

first hits this city,

the men that you meet

in the marketplace there

who caused this rabble,

what are they doing?

The two things that they're doing

in Ephesus,

they're raising their voices

and they're being angry.

Right?

That's the two characteristics

of the men that you meet

in Acts 19,

what they're doing.

It might be part and parcel

of what it means

to be a man in Ephesus

in this day.

I don't know.

But could it be

that some of those attitudes

of being angry

and raising your voice

have made their way

into the church?

And that's why Paul says

to the men,

he says,

don't be about disputing

or anger.

Do you see how he specifically

goes for those things?

Don't be known for being angry.

Don't be known

for your arguments.

I don't know what's going on

in the background here.

It's almost impossible to tell

if it's not for the little clues

that you put together.

Could it be that the men

in this church

are being envious

of one another?

Could it be that they are

gossiping about one another

behind each other's backs?

Could it be that

they love nothing more

than an intellectual argument

and winning it?

Could it be that

they're competing

with one another in prayer?

Who can pray better?

Who's got more impressive prayers?

Whatever it is,

Paul says,

guys, you've got to stop it.

What are you doing?

You've got to stop it.

The anger that's in your heart,

the competition

against your brothers

if you're somebody to beat,

you've got to stop it.

You've got to put aside

your petty scrobbles

and you've got to get praying.

I love that simplicity

of that command

to get praying.

Right?

Get praying for the peoples

of the world.

Again,

did you see it so tightly linked

to what's come before?

Get praying for the peoples

of the world.

Get praying with

and get praying for

your families.

Get praying for your sisters

in the church.

Now here's what I want us

to see.

According to Paul,

you see how a godly man

is not somebody

who can lift big at the gym.

Do you see how

a godly man

is not somebody

who's got the drive

and the aspiration

to climb the corporate ladder.

He's not somebody

who's handy

with a black and decker drill.

He's not somebody

who runs the roost at home.

He's not somebody,

dare I even say,

who's even married.

That is not what defines

a godly man.

Oh friends,

would we see

that a godly man

is one who will

get on his knees

and pray.

Do you see that?

And do you feel

the challenge

if you're a guy here?

Are we known

in this church,

the men,

for those who will

get down on our knees

and pray?

And are we known

for increasingly

cultivating

by God's grace

a humble

and a teachable spirit

that loves

to declare

its dependence

on God?

And let me just say

that if you think

about the bigger

Bible story,

Genesis 1 and Genesis 2

which we'll come back to.

Friends,

that's what Adam

was created to do.

Not to live

independently

from God

but to live

in relationship

with God

as he carried out

the mission

which God

had gave him.

And that's what

was ruined

at the fall.

We thought about it

a few weeks ago,

our natural inclination

towards independence,

no political connotations

given, okay?

But it's our natural

inclination,

isn't it,

to do it our own way,

to be a self-made man

to which we always say,

what part of you

did you make?

It's why

if we want to know

what it is to be a man,

we look to Jesus.

Don't look to the world.

We don't look to CR7,

right?

We look to Jesus

because Jesus

is the one

who perfectly

modeled this

and he is the one

who redeems us

from the curse

of the fall.

And what it means

to be sanctified

is to grow more

into his likeness.

and letting those

attitudes spill over

into how we relate

to and view others.

Do you know what I thought

was the most beautiful thing

and this is going to stay

with me for the rest

of my days.

I'll use this as a sermon

illustration every time

I don't preach here,

right?

I'm not going to look at him,

I don't embarrass him.

Stuart was up here last week

and do you know what I loved?

He talked about the passage

in God's word

which made an impression

on him.

Do you remember where he went?

John chapter 4.

John 4 · chapter mention

How Jesus treated

a woman

who was an outcast

in that society

and how he treated her

with dignity,

how he knew her

inside out,

how he gave her respect,

how he loved her

and I love how he said

that was Jesus in action

that drew me to him.

For as I take it,

guys,

if we are being made

more into his image

then we should see

more of him

in our lives

as God's spirit

transforms us.

You know,

this is going to affect

how we view

particularly our sisters

in the church.

Now,

this is what I saw

on Sky News

the other day.

I don't know if any of you

saw this.

I think it was on Twitter.

I can't remember

but the question was

and I think it was

in the context of

violence against women

in our society.

The question

was something like

is porn

part of the problem

to view

how men view women?

Is porn

part of the problem?

I remember hearing it

and thinking

I cannot believe

that's even been asked

as a question.

men,

may it be

something that the world

would see something

different

when they come in here

and they see

how we treat

our sisters in Christ.

How we just

treat women

like Jesus treated them.

May the world

look in and see

how we are for them,

how we listen to them,

how we value them,

how we protect them,

how we give ourselves

in the church

for their flourishing

particularly in the context

of their walk

with Jesus.

Agreed?

Agreed.

The challenge here

is men,

are we

praying?

You feel the challenge?

Are we

praying?

Are we absorbed

in silly competition

against one another?

Is there anger

that's lingering

in our hearts?

Are we being led

and fed

by our pride?

Stop squabbling

and start praying

says Paul.

Oh man,

how counter-cultural.

I want a witness

to the world

this community

will be

if the men

start behaving

like this

considering what

the men

in Ephesus

were like.

And to the woman

in the church

he says,

in the context

he says,

stop distracting

and start serving.

You read the round

on this?

Women in the first century

were famous

for their elaborate

hairstyles

and their expensive

clothes.

It almost become

a kind of status symbol

as you walk

around town

everybody looks at you

and they know

who you are

and they know

what you're worth.

Again,

is Paul putting

his finger

on a cultural

norm,

a cultural attitude

that has tiptoed

its way into the church

in the way

that the women

here are behaving?

In terms

of how they're

conducting themselves.

Now whatever

they're doing

in the background

here,

do you see

it's disrupting

things.

Maybe for the men

I imagine

as well as the women

it's distracting

from the main thing

how they're behaving

and I think as well

it's causing

divisions in the church

how they're conducting

themselves.

I know what he's

talking about

and be clear

what he's not

talking about.

He's not talking

about promoting

ankle length skirts

or anything like that.

That's not what he's

saying.

He's saying to the woman

think about

others.

What is it

that you're

prioritising

in your life?

Dear sisters

here today

what are the

things that

you might be

doing

in here

out of here

that are

a cause

for distraction

and division?

I tried to do

a little bit

of research

on this

asking

different

women

in the church

I don't

know

if this

is going

to hit

I'm not

a woman

you'll see

okay

what is it

you love

to talk about?

What is it

you talk about

when you

hang out?

What is it

you talk about

when you go

for coffees?

Is it

houses?

Is it

wallpaper?

The different

things that you're

planning on doing

to your house?

Is it

who's got

the better

buggy?

Is it

jobs?

Is it

schools?

Is it

friendship groups

that you're

in or

not

in?

For whatever

it is

think about

it.

That's what

Paul was

saying

think about

it.

Wouldn't it

be a great

thing to

do

to have

in your

mind

the next

time you

meet

one of

your

friends

whatever

it is

in the

church

that

encouraging

one

another

towards

godliness

was

central

to your

conversation

because

the timeless

principle

I think

here

is that

godliness

is beautiful

in God's

eyes.

Godliness

is beautiful

in God's

eyes and

the fruit

of the

spirit

man that's

what we

all need

as you

too are

transformed

more into

the likeness

of Jesus.

That's why

I think he

calls the

woman in

this culture

again think

about how

counter-cultural

this community

is going to

be.

He calls

them to

be known

for their

good deeds.

Listen I

love this

quote by

Elizabeth

Elliott

I've used

it before

but I

love it

she said

this

she said

the fact

that I'm

a woman

does not

make me

a different

kind of

Christian

underscore

that

but the

fact that

I'm a

Christian

does make

me a

different

kind of

woman.

So Paul

here he

talks to

the men

and he

talks to

the woman

and offers

two

counter-cultural

yet

wonderfully

attractive

ways

that they

can uniquely

and together

adorn the

beauty of the

gospel in

their city

of Ephesus.

Do you

see it?

We need to

take that

into the

next section.

Now it's

worth saying

as we

come to

this section

that many

dear brothers

and sisters

around the

city and let

me just say

personally some

of my best

friends see

this very

differently what

comes up here

and some of us

here this

morning will see

this differently.

We need to

acknowledge that

and in a

world that

handles its

differences with

people by

saying tolerate

we need to

see that Jesus

calls us to

handle differences

in the body

of Christ by

saying love.

Demonstrating

that love

that would

even die for

its enemies

that Christ

showed us on

the cross.

We need to

carry that

with us and

yet having

said that

we've got to

wrestle with

this stuff.

I just

take a line

a byro and

just score it

out of our

Bible.

We've got to

think about

what he's

saying and

to get what

he's saying.

We need to

see the

context in

which he

draws on in

the passage

here.

Do you see

it?

He says he

talks about

Adam and

Eve.

Again, do you

see it in the

passage?

He's talking

about Adam

and Eve which

is code for

Timothy to

get his Bible

and turn to

Genesis.

Remember these

two know each

other really

well.

Timothy knows

what Paul is

getting at.

Get to

Genesis.

Get to

Genesis.

And you

turn to

Genesis 1 and

2 and you

will see two

truths there.

I think that

Timothy has to

draw upon here.

Two truths

about men

and women.

Firstly,

equality.

They are

both made

beautifully and

equally in

God's image.

And if you're

here today and

you're feeling

worthless, you're

thinking, is life

worth going on?

Am I really

valued?

Would you know

that you are

made in God's

image?

Whoever you are

here today, it's

why as God's

people, we

care about all

peoples of the

world.

We care about

life and all

its forms because

every human being

is stamped with an

inherent dignity.

It's not one that

you've earned.

You just have it

because you've been

made in God's

image.

You'll see

equality between

men and women.

Every human being

made in God's

image.

And you will see

complementarity.

Now, I couldn't

think of a better

English word.

Not only we've got

one, complementarity.

God brings Eve on

the scene as a

helper to Adam.

Now, before you

jump on the

conclusion that

that's derogatory,

remember throughout

scripture God

refers to himself

as the helper to

Israel.

So it's

dignifying.

And God has

given Adam the

role of stewarding

and cultivating

creation.

filling it

under God's

rule and for

his glory.

And as Adam

leads, as God

has commissioned

him to do,

Eve comes

alongside and

the two of

them can do

better the

thing that Adam

could not do

on his own.

Eve brings

something to

the table.

She brings

something to

the game because

of the way that

God has uniquely

wired her which

perfectly suits

the way that

Adam has been

designed.

It's

complementarity.

Now, if you're

struggling to

picture that,

let me just

give you

something to

carry with

you.

This is

where I

love being

Scottish.

Okay?

Because I was

brought up in

Cayley's.

The guy does

his role and

the woman does

her role and

together it's a

beautiful dance.

It's growing up in

the stuff.

Or you want to

change the analogy.

Do you notice

when we sang

this morning as

we brought the

male and female

voices together?

Do you notice

how beautifully

they're harmonised?

In my role, I've

spoken at women's

coffee mornings,

I've spoken at

men's breakfast,

both of which

involve singing.

I remember hearing

both of them and

thinking, you two

should really meet

because your voices

do something

together which is

beautiful.

I think this is

what Paul is

talking about when

he's talking about

equal yet different.

And of course

that's exactly,

to stretch you a

little bit, what

we find in the

Godhead, isn't it?

Father, Son and

Spirit, we sang

about it this

morning.

Our God is

three in one,

all three equally

God but different

roles.

And if that is

who our God is,

then it would

make logical sense

if we're made in

his image that we

see something of

that complementary

design built into

the very DNA of

what it means to be

a human being.

And yet that's

what went wrong

at the fall in

Genesis 3.

So you see,

Paul writes here,

we need to get

into this,

Adam was not

the one deceived,

Eve was.

So Eve ate the

apple that God

had forbidden

them to eat.

But listen to

this, I don't

think this is as

much a dig at

Eve as it's a

dig at Adam.

Because the

picture that you

get if you turn

to Genesis 3

is that Adam

is hiding in the

background as all

this is unfolding.

Adam is there,

he should have

been the one to

jump in and

said, Eve,

listen, we don't

do that.

Listen, our God

is so good,

he's told us how

we're to live,

he's told us what

we're not to do to

show our love for

him, we don't do

that.

And yet Adam,

Eve takes it and

she hands some to

him, the image you

get is that Adam's

hiding in the

background when he

should have been

standing up and

speaking and

leading.

And he's the one

that God holds to

account.

He says, Adam,

where are you?

And I take it

as Paul's replay

in this scene

and I take it

Paul is saying

that this church

need to rediscover

something of the

beauty of that

original

complementarity.

Now, don't miss

the fact that

Paul in verse 11

is encouraging

the woman in the

church to learn.

Don't miss that.

Please don't miss

that.

So hugely

counter-cultural

in this day,

in the Greco-Roman

world to

encourage women

to learn.

It's so

counter-cultural.

Paul is so

pro-woman here.

And I take it

that when Paul

uses that word

quiet in verse

12, he can't

be envisaging

absolute silence

because he's just

used, you see,

the same Greek

root word nine

verses earlier

at verse 2 of

chapter 2 when he

was talking there

about living a

life of godliness.

So I just don't

think absolute

silence is what

we should read

there.

So it would

seem strange,

wouldn't it,

if Paul was

meaning something

different.

And when he

says submissive,

the choice of

putting yourself

under someone,

friends, that does

not mean that a

woman has to

submit to every

man, get that

underscored.

I think in this

instance, it's a

reference to the

elders and the

public teaching of

the church, and

that calls exactly

the same on the

men.

Paul knows that

women have a

vital role to

play in this

church if it's

going to grow to

maturity.

And add to that

the fact that

elsewhere we see

him encouraging

women to teach

the younger

women, he's

encouraged them

to pray and

prophesy.

Some of Paul's

closest and

most dearest

co-workers are

women.

And yet I

take it what

he does

envisage is

that both the

authority and

the teaching

role in the

church is one

that he sees

right for men

to take based

on Genesis 1

and Genesis 2.

And the fact

that he roots

that instruction

in Genesis,

not Ephesus,

I think means

that it's a

timeless principle

because it's a

creational

principle.

Now what does

that mean for us

today at

Brunsfield?

Well it means

that we'll

continue to

encourage our

dear sisters to

participate when

we gather together

publicly like

this.

Leading things

like small group

Bible studies,

leading various

ministries that

we'll see next

week and kind of

come under the

umbrella of

deacon,

participating up

front on Sunday

and leading

worship,

reading,

praying and

speaking.

And we've been

so blessed as

we've journeyed

over the years

seeing women use

their gifts in

those capacities

on Sundays

and I hope

that by

Kate's

appointment you

see the

strategic investment

we're making

in women's

ministry and

seeing the

women of our

church flourish.

And yet friends

when it comes to

the office of

elder,

which we'll see

next week,

and the teaching

of the Bible

when we gather

together as a

church,

I think this

timeless principle

kicks in

and leads us to

conclude that

these roles should

be taken up

by men.

And not just

any men,

got to get that

right,

we'll see it

next week

where we'll see

God-loving men.

In our world

where there's a

leadership crisis,

the leadership

in the church

is vital.

Men who ooze

Christ-like

character,

men who have

been tested

and approved,

men who have

committed themselves

to sacrificing

themselves for

the good of the

church family

and seeing them

grow.

Do you see

Ikea kind of

Christians?

Let me just

say,

just swimmer

there,

when Paul

talks about

childbearing

at verse 15,

I take it

that's a

direct shot

at the

false teachers

who are

seeking to

downplay

marriage

and who

are by

implication

who are

downplaying

motherhood.

Now let me

just,

just because

we're in the

context of

motherhood

because,

listen,

dads were

called to

do exactly

the same.

Let me

just say

to you,

if you're

here today

and you're

a mum,

if you're

staying at

home to

look after

the kids,

if you've

stopped work

to look

after them,

if you're

sacrificing

yourself for

them,

if your

days are

changing

nappies

and running

errands,

falling into

bed at

night shattered,

all because

you long

for your

children to

grow up to

come to

know Jesus,

I want you

to know that

that is a

wonderful

call.

In our

culture,

one of the

things that

we have

is a very

core of

identity,

is it not?

When you ask

people,

you say,

what do

you do?

And friends,

how often do

those who are

in this

category,

do we kind

of reluctantly

say that

we're at home

looking after

the kids,

right?

I think this

calls us to

see that that

is a wonderful

thing.

And I take it

that's exactly

what Paul is

saying to

those women

in Ephesus.

Do not let

them downplay

the false

teachers.

what a

glorious thing

it is to

be a

sacrificial

mum.

Reject that

false teaching,

reject it,

and keep

going with

the grain

of God's

good design.

Now listen,

we've covered a

lot here today,

Kate,

I hope you

recognise it,

I could only

do so much

justice to it

in half an

hour,

and that's

why we

need to

be in our

small groups

thinking this

stuff out

together.

But let me

just close

by bringing

us back to

the big

thing.

The big

thing.

Now some

of you might

remember if

you're old

enough,

in 1992

there was a

book that

was released,

I can't

remember the

guy's name,

it was

American

Relationship

Guru called,

is it

John Gray?

I can't

remember.

You'll know

the title,

you know

the title,

Men Are

From Mars,

Women Are

From Venus?

You heard

that before,

that book?

Well let me

just take the

joke, it's

kind of been

a joke in

our culture

isn't it?

Let me

take the

joke and

turn it

around for

us as we

finish and

put it to

us as a

truth.

Now I

take it

that as

we live

our lives

together as

men and

women, as

we exhibit

what it means

to live under

the lordship of

Jesus together,

friends I

take it we

should show

the world

that we're

not from

here.

We show

the world

as we live

our equal

yet different

lives that

together we

are from

heaven.

Just think

how much of

a counter

cultural

community this

will be in

Ephesus.

And think

how much

of a

counter

cultural

community

this will

be in

Edinburgh.

What is

Paul saying?

He's

encouraging

them to

go with

the grain

of God's

good design.

And he's

pleading with

them to

be a key

kind of

Christians.

So let

me pray

and then

we will

close our

service.

Okay, let

me pray.

Heavenly

Father, we

thank you

so much

Lord for

your goodness

to us.

And I

just pray

Father that

your spirit

would be

moving amongst

us today.

Lord, we

long to be

those kind

of disciples

who are

fully submitted

to Jesus.

Lord, I

recognize that

much of what

we've spoken

about today,

it will come

at us in

unique and

in different

ways.

And so

Father, I

pray as

one who's

just pleading

that you

would do

your work

by your

spirit, that

you would be

bringing comfort

and challenge

and forgiveness

and healing

and restoration

and a

longing

for a life

that glorifies

you in every

way.

So Father, I

just thank you

for your

precious word.

While we

recognize that

it is eternal,

we recognize

that we are

finite.

And so

Father, I

pray today as

we respond to

this, that

you would help

us continue to

be disciples

who glorify

Jesus to the

watching world.

Father, help

us to love

one another, we

pray in Jesus'

precious name we

ask.

Amen.

Amen.