Divorce

Okay folks, keep that passage in Malachi chapter 2 open in front of you.

Malachi 2 · chapter mention

So this is the proverbial cod liver oil tablet passage.

Really hard to swallow, but really good for our bodies.

Really good for us to take in the message, the central message of this passage today.

So my laptop's in for repair, so there's no PowerPoint today.

So you're going to have to concentrate extra hard.

But this is really good for us to take in this passage.

So, you up for some song lyrics as we begin?

You're getting song lyrics as we begin.

I'm free to do what I want any old time.

And I'm free to be who I choose any old time.

If you're a culture vulture, which many of you are,

you will recognise those as the lyrics that the Soup Dragons sang back in 1990.

That was the anthem of my childhood growing up.

I'm free to do what I want any old time.

If you're a culture dweller though, and that's all of us by definition,

you will recognise those lyrics as the drumbeat of our day.

It's the drumbeat of the Western world where we celebrate individual expression

and we elevate our own personal happiness as being the ultimate goal of our lives.

That you and I need to be our true selves,

regardless of the people who like skittles in a bowling alley we happen to knock down

in the process of trying to get there.

This is the mindset of our world.

I'm free to do what I want any old time.

I'm free to choose to be who I want any old time.

And the thing is, if you search your hearts this morning,

and I really searched mine in preparation for this this week.

The truth of it is, like flavouring in your morning coffee,

sometimes you can drink this every day

and not even realise that it's in your system.

This mindset.

Do you see it in your own heart?

I'm free to do what I want any old time.

You see, that's the mindset that as we look at this generation of God's people,

who we'll see in a minute have bought it hook, line and sinker.

That's the mindset that God is going to challenge in each of our hearts this morning.

Particularly in terms of how we understand this whole area of sex and marriage.

That's the presenting issue here in this day.

Now your reaction to me saying that is likely to be one of two things.

Number one is that you'll switch on.

Number two is that you'll switch off.

Right?

Maybe wondering, why on earth would I care that God has something to say about that?

Why is he meddling in this field?

I met a guy in America whose surname was Meddler.

I thought it was quite funny.

Why is God meddling in this field?

Why should I care what he thinks?

You maybe see God like C.S. Lewis did before he became a Christian.

He outlines it in his book.

Remember reading it as a young Christian, surprised by joy.

Right?

And it's a tale of how he came to faith as a kind of atheist, agnostic.

How he came to believe in the God of the Bible.

Before he believed, he called God, in his own words, the grand interferer.

Right?

Maybe that's how you understand God today.

Well, it's been my prayer for you this week that you might detect the scent of the sweet answer that the Bible has for you on that.

Right?

As we contemplate how and why Jesus calls his followers to adopt a different mindset from that of the world.

Now, we've seen over the last number of weeks, God's stinging words of rebuke to the priests.

Do you remember that?

That was kind of chapter two.

Well, now God turns to address the people.

The people.

Now, let me just say two really quick things to try and create a canvas for this sermon so that we can see clearly the picture where we're going to end with this that's right at the center of it.

Right?

I want us to see the word of the text.

Now, if you've got it there, just have a look.

Glance over it.

Remember what John was reading.

The word of the text is the word faithless.

Now, if you scan your eye over the passage, you'll clock that it comes up five times in this passage.

So this is Malachi addressing the people.

God's speaking through Malachi, addressing the people.

And it's almost as if God is saying that that's the word that I'd use to sum up what I see when I look at you, this generation of my people.

Faithless.

Faithless.

And from the word of the text, I want us to be honest about the pain of the topic.

Because the issue here, on the surface, is that easy to force has become a thing amongst God's people.

And I recognize that for many of us, even just the mention of that word might be touching some really sensitive and painful nerves right now.

Whether you know that word personally, you know the pain of it, or maybe that you've seen it from a distance, how it's affected your closest friends and family.

In ways that words can't even begin to put that, you can't even begin to put that into words.

Isn't it true that Hollywood almost presents it to us as a harmless and almost natural conclusion to a marriage relationship?

Remember a number of years ago, what was that phrase that was made popular by Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow?

To describe their divorce back in 2014.

They called it a conscious uncoupling.

Do you remember that?

You might get away with that if you've got tons of money in the bank.

But I've got friends who work in different areas of this city.

And let me say, when it happens, it causes utter chaos.

Utter chaos.

Utter pain.

Now it's worth saying that even though God hates divorce, we see it clearly in this passage.

The Bible has so much more to say on that, that we're going to have time to cover today.

Regarding the times when it is sadly and regrettably permissible.

But if you have questions on this, and I take it many of us will, a lot of us will,

then please come and speak to one of the elders.

We're here this morning to answer your questions about this topic.

And just to chat and to pray and to listen.

Because we want to strive to be that kind of church community where we have that spirit of honesty and love for one another.

And we can walk with one another compassionately through the things that really hurt in life.

That's the community we want to be, is it not?

That's the community we want to be.

And if nothing else, I want us to be greatly heartened this morning by the fact that the God of the Bible would speak into the most painful and deepest wounds and sorest of wounds with his words.

This is why he speaks here.

To offer words of challenge and to pour gallons of grace on the people who are behind this text.

He loves us.

The God of the Bible is committed to his glory.

And he's committed, determined to bring the people, the world over to see his goodness, love and grace.

And he is a good father.

Maybe for some of us here this morning, and again, this has been my prayer,

that this might even be by God's sheer goodness and grace, the start of that long road that is the healing process.

And so let's get into the meat of this.

And again, here is the structure for today.

It's really simple because there's no PowerPoint.

Here it is, 3, 2, 1.

Okay?

Here's the three.

Notice the three names of God that Malachi uses right up top.

Give us an indication into who he is and why he's speaking here.

Here's the first one.

He's our father.

Verse 10.

Do you see it?

He's our father.

God speaking through Malachi reminds them that as a nation, they are his special possession.

Right?

He is the father of the like, and they are all his children.

So this is him saying, it's not like we happen to have all pitched up and live in the same street.

No, God has brought us together.

He saved us as a people.

He's bound us and bonded us together.

He's our father.

So it's a family metaphor that Malachi is using here.

He's our father.

We're his children.

And do you see he say, has not one God created us?

Now, the Hebrew word there is the Genesis 1 word for God.

This God, says Malachi, remember, he's our creator.

Look at your hands.

Take a breath.

Sing a song.

It's him that's given us all the abilities that we have.

He's our creator.

He is the one.

He is the three in one God who's made us in his image.

And because the three in one God has made us in his image, we are deeply relational beings.

That is not an accident.

And friends, that is why many of us, all of us really struggled with COVID being inside, not together.

Because we're wired.

We're wired like this.

We are deeply relational beings.

In other words, the grand watchmaker knows how we tick.

He's made us in his image.

He's the relational God, father, son, spirit, loving each other perfectly.

Since before eternity began.

Therefore, particularly when it comes to human relationships, and I take it this is Malachi's point, and sexuality.

And how they will flourish best.

It seems that there is great wisdom in acknowledging that perhaps the God who framed us and knows us and who loves us.

Might have something to say for our good into that.

Now, it's Glenn Harrison, Christian doctor and psychologist who's working down in Bristol.

In his wonderful little book, A Better Story.

God, Sex, and Human Flourishing.

And this is one of the best books I've read on this that somebody has produced really recently.

He says this.

He says,

The gospel calls us to learn to be God's creatures all over again.

Because this is his reality, not ours.

And we will flourish when we work in harmony with our creator's reality.

And I think that's so helpful.

This gospel calls us to learn to be God's creatures all over again.

If you want to check this out, just come and grab it.

It will be on the stage afterwards.

But it's a really good book worth checking out.

This is what Malachi is saying.

He is our God.

He's the God.

He's the God who made us.

He designed it all.

And lastly, thirdly, he is, verse 12, the Lord of hosts.

Do you see that?

He is the God of angel armies.

So this is a serious thing.

Not only when we lean into our own wisdom and neglect deliberately his,

but it's a serious thing when we inflict pain, not just on any human being,

but particularly when we inflict it in this context on God's children.

And we've got to answer to him at the end of the day for how we've treated others.

So do you see the three aspects to God there?

He's our father.

He loves us.

He knows us.

He saved us.

He's our God.

He's the one who framed us.

He knows us.

And he's the Lord of angel armies.

He's the one who we'll have to give account to.

They just frame this whole discussion that this is who God is.

And really quickly, from the three names of God,

see the two problems with this generation.

And the first one is most clearly seen at the end of verse 15,

where Malachi says, guard yourselves in your spirit, right?

Heart, your inner self.

Guard yourselves in your spirit and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.

So there's an easy divorce culture developing in Israel.

And there's two angles on this as to why God takes it so seriously.

Firstly, there's a horizontal angle.

Simply, the detrimental impact that the unfaithfulness has on other people.

As men in this generation, I take it,

normalize and legitimize ditching their wives

and going after the woman of the nations round about them,

thinking to themselves,

simply, I take it, I want a bit of that.

They are flourishing.

They are pretty.

Life might go better for me over there.

And so they go.

Which in this culture,

to do that, you are consigning the wife of your youth.

And just notice the details who God witnessed you to get married.

Verse 14,

he witnessed you pledge yourself to her.

What you're doing is causing her to move back in with her parents.

And you're inflicting a shed load of shame and pain

on her, her family and their community.

And the thing is, where did that all start?

It started in their spirits.

That's why Malachi says, guard your spirits, guard your hearts.

It all started in there.

All started, in other words, from the vertical angle.

Right?

Horizontal, vertical angle.

These men being unfaithful to their wives and to their community,

why did they do it?

Because, first of all,

their hearts had given up on being faithful to the Lord.

Being satisfied with who he is.

In love with who he is.

Desiring to be obedient to what he said.

Because God's instruction to his people throughout the Old Testament is explicit.

Don't marry foreign wives.

Now, you've got to be really clear here, right?

That this instruction is not an ethnic thing.

Hear me loud and clear on that.

Neither is it a racial thing.

Again, hear me loud and clear on that.

But hear me loud and clear on this.

What is it?

It's a worship thing.

It's a worship thing.

Because why did God give them that law?

Because he knew the hearts of his people,

that if they did,

they would wander right into idolatry.

They would take up the customs of the nations round about,

of the small g gods,

and they would run

into the direction of rebellion against Yahweh.

This is a worship thing.

And the second problem,

verse 13,

is that these same men

waltz into God's temple,

throw crocodile tears of contrition before him,

weeping and groaning,

and they're puzzled when God doesn't seem to answer their prayers.

They even have the brass neck to ask in their hearts,

verse 14,

why does he not?

And the answer,

I take it,

is that God will not be played for a fool.

And so it's little wonder that Malachi says to this generation,

guard your spirits,

guard your hearts,

because this is a worship thing.

So true in our lives,

isn't it,

friends?

This is,

everything else flows downstream from here.

downstream from here.

This is a worship thing.

And when you frame it like that,

that is why,

even though we are not Old Testament Israel,

it is not unsurprising that a command

to only marry a believer

is repeated in the New Testament.

Now again,

I recognize that that is going to be painful

for many of us.

And again,

we'd love to chat and pray with you

if you want to after this.

But I remember this,

growing up.

If you're single here today,

I get that this is tough.

It is so good to have non-Christian friends.

So good.

But let us not go fishing there for romance.

It's just not good for us to do it.

And you ask in your hearts,

I remember this,

thinking,

oh,

but people are so much fun.

It's,

I can maybe attract them to Christian friends.

It rarely goes well.

And God has said,

don't do it.

This is a worship thing.

He knows our hearts.

And so here is the question

that's right at the heart of this.

Do we love the Lord?

Do you love him?

Do we trust what he says?

Do we trust his blueprint

for human relationships

and particularly for sex

in the context for that

where it's going to go the best

the way that he's designed it to

is a marriage between one man

and one woman?

Are you convinced

that that is the best?

Do we trust Jesus

with our relationship status?

the fact that we worship

a single man

who lived the most full

and most satisfied human life

that ever existed.

I take it that

whoever we are today

and whatever angle

we're coming at this passage from,

I take it

that should be a great source

of comfort to us.

Do you see how Jesus Christ

is the stone in the shoe

of the sexual revolution

that the world

is trying to tell us?

that you cannot be satisfied

unless you give

some kind of outlet,

you find some kind of partner

where you can be sexually fulfilled

and Jesus Christ would say

that's not true.

He's the stone in the shoe

to the sexual revolution

as the world

is trying to sell it to us.

Friends,

do you trust God's blueprint

for your body?

You know,

we had that discussion recently

around the dinner table

with our kids

about special parts

of the body.

He said,

isn't that not just

a revealing thing

about our society,

our culture today

that we're having

to have that conversation

with six and seven year olds?

I don't think I was 14

until we got that at school.

But it's true, isn't it?

But what did we say to them?

You don't let just anyone go there.

Okay?

That's why I take it

when sex goes wrong,

the pain of it

is not like you've just

fallen off your bike

and skinned your knee

in the playground, is it?

The pain of it,

it feels like

sacred space

has been intruded upon.

Now, why do we feel like that?

I take it because

God has designed this

purposefully.

That there is great sanctity

in sex,

that God designed it

for more than just

mere pleasure.

God designed it

in order to help us

grasp something

profoundly bigger

and more real

and satisfying

about who he is

and about his love

for us.

Because that's true,

the question is,

is Jesus worth

more to us

than the fleeting

pleasures and lusts

of this world?

Will we trust him

when he says,

whoever wants to come

after me must deny himself,

take up his cross,

and follow me?

That whoever would

lose his life

for my sake

in the gospel

will gain his life.

And part of that denial,

I take it,

of self

is saying no

to anything

that would cause us

to go against

King Jesus.

And that takes us

to the one,

right,

no great surprise here,

he is the one.

Right,

three names of God,

two problems

with this generation,

and the one person

that we need to run to here.

It's fascinating

if you look at it

and glance at it

if you want

in Mark chapter 10.

Mark 10 · chapter mention

This topic of divorce

is put to Jesus.

Right,

the Pharisees,

the religious lawyers

of the day,

they quiz him on it,

they want to know

what he thinks about it.

And notice the clues

as to the state

of their hearts

and how this conversation

goes down.

And I take it

that's always a good thing

that is worth doing

when there's a question

asked of Jesus

and Jesus asks

a question the other way.

Put yourself in the shoes

of the one

who's asking the question.

Because it's so often

when Jesus answers

a question with a question

that the question

reveals the heart

of the questioner.

Right?

That makes sense.

Reveals the heart

of the questioner.

And otherwise,

Jesus asks questions

to bring out

what's really going on

in the heart.

That's what happens here,

Mark chapter 10.

Mark 10 · chapter mention

They ask Jesus,

Jesus,

is it lawful

for a man

to divorce his wife?

Now notice

that they don't ask

is it right

for a man

to divorce his wife?

They don't ask

is it wise for,

they ask

is it lawful

for a man

to divorce his wife?

And again,

that's just the first clue

as to the state

of their hearts

and what they're

really worried about.

And Jesus,

in classic Jesus style,

answers their question

with a question.

He says,

what did Moses say?

Which is a good question.

And they reply,

he permitted us

to write a certificate

of divorce

and to send her away.

And again,

that's the second clue

as to the coldness

of the question.

What's going on

in their hearts?

To send her away?

How chilling is that

as a response?

Again,

the conversation

could have ended there

because the question

technically has been answered.

But Jesus wants them

to see when it comes

to this whole area

of sex and marriage

that they've

totally missed

the wood from the trees

in the most chilling

and in the most heartless

of ways.

He says,

this is true

because of the hardness

of your hearts.

In other words,

the problem isn't marriage.

No,

the problem

is the sinful human heart.

He reaffirms

that God made them

in the beginning

male and female.

And he designed marriage

so that the two

would become one flesh.

In other words,

there's a design purpose

to the way God

has put this together.

You need to see it

and you ain't seeing it,

says Jesus to the Pharisees.

Now,

a good question

to ask at this point

is why is Jesus

so strong in this?

It seems to be a good question.

Let me put it another way.

Have you ever asked yourself

why God gave us sexuality?

Now,

that's a conversation starter

when you meet your friends

after this.

But it's a question

I want to know

that if you're a Christian

here today,

the Bible has a wonderfully

profound answer to you

for that question.

Why has God designed sexuality?

I'll get the how,

but why has he designed it?

If you're here today

and you don't believe

any of the stuff

that I've said,

there's a question

for you to chew on.

Why is it even...

God could easily have made us

without that being necessary,

right?

Why did God design sexuality?

Well,

I take it

it's a question

that one that Jesus

in the context of Mark

is about to show us

the answer to

because he's about to fulfill.

Remember this,

where this comes,

Mark chapter 10,

Mark 10 · chapter mention

Mark chapter 8.

Mark 8 · chapter mention

If you want to read it through

in your own time after this,

that's where the penny drops

as to who Jesus is.

Isaiah 1 · chapter mention

Chapters 1 to 8,

almost who he is,

what the kids are doing upstairs.

Chapters 8 to 16,

this is why he came.

Where does this come?

Chapter 10,

it's the beginning of

why he came.

He is everything

that marriage is pointing to.

He is the divine bridegroom

who's come on a rescue mission

to woo

and to win his people

as his bride to himself.

And he does it

because he's going to the cross

to win his people

for himself,

going to the cross

to pay for their sin.

And whoever we are here today,

we've all made mistakes

in this field.

All of us have made mistakes

in this field,

regardless of what your relationship status

is here today.

And this is why he's the one person

that we need to get to.

And he's the one person

that we need to see.

No, our identity is in him

and who he is

and what he's done for us.

That's where we need to get to

because he on the cross

took all of our shame

and our sin,

all of our past regrets,

all of our secret

and hidden mistakes,

all the pain that's wrapped up,

not just in this area,

but every area.

He goes to the cross

to make our problems

and our shame

and our sin

his own.

And whoever you are here today,

that's where we need to get to

because there is forgiveness

and there is gallants of grace

to be found

in Jesus.

Because where you and I

are faithless,

he is faithful.

Human marriage is a pale

and imperfect reflection of

and one that points to

the relationship

that Jesus Christ has

with his church.

For those who are married

here today,

is this not a wonderful reminder,

one that we will never

be able to measure up to

and yet wonderfully

is our call

to make our marriages

about the bigger

and ultimate purpose

of Jesus

and his church.

It's why,

husbands,

if we're here today,

the call to sacrificially

serve

and give yourself

for

and have eyes

only for

our wives

is the call

on us

and it's why

wives,

God calls you

to choose

to follow

the servant-hearted,

loving lead

of your husband

and to submit

to him

as the church

does to Jesus

because we recognize

that there's a bigger

game in which

we're playing.

Right?

And I watched it

over Christmas time,

my aunt,

she cried over

my uncle

when he died

but at the end

of the pain

of half an hour

she walked out

of the room

and they pulled

down the blinds

and do you know

what she said?

I'll see him

in glory

because there's

a bigger game

that we're playing

in,

there's a bigger

marriage that

we're involved

in and whoever

you are here

today,

that wedding

photo at the

end of time,

you will be in it

by your faith

in Christ

when the wedding

photo of Jesus

and his church

happens

and the thing

is you won't

just be a face

in the crowd,

your face

will be caught

up in the face

of the bride

and that's where

this is pointed

to this whole

thing,

your face

will be in that

wedding photo.

Friends,

just as we close,

do you see

how Jesus

calls us

to dance

to a new

tune?

The world

says I'm free

to do what I

want any old

time and I'm

free to be who

I choose any

old time.

Do you want to

know the other

song that's been

in my head all

week from a

generation even

before this?

It's a song by

T-Rex and a

handful of you

will know what

that song is.

They sang the

song, do you

remember it,

Children of the

Revolution?

Remember that song

Children of the

Revolution?

Some of you are

nodding, some of

you don't have a

clue.

But this is

what you are if

you're a Christian

here today and

you adopt this.

You're a child

of the

revolution.

The eternal

sexual revolution

that Jesus

Christ unveiled

2,000 years

ago in a

Greco-Roman world

that prized

power and

dominance and

saw women and

children as

inferior,

encouraged men

not to hold

back on

unleashing their

sexual desires.

You can imagine

the revolution that

kicked off in

this time.

And it might

just be that the

scales are on the

other side in our

culture today.

But make no

mistake, it is

still as

revolutionary then

as it is today.

So the question

is, friends, do we

love him?

Do we love Jesus?

Will we take him

up at his words

that what he says

his way is the

best?

Will we allow him

to pour gallons

of grace into our

wounds in this

whole area?

And will we take

up our cross,

deny self,

and follow him?

Let me just give

you a real concrete

example as we

finish as to how

I saw this play

out in my time

at Brunsfield.

I remember a

girl here years

ago.

She was engaged

to her soon-to-be

husband.

And as is the

nature of renting

in this city,

he needed to be

out of his flat

before they got

married.

And you can

imagine the

issues that that

caused.

Anyone looking on

would see that the

easy thing for them

to do was just to

move in together.

It would save on

money, tons of

money for two or

three months before

they got married.

All the hassle of

trying to find

somewhere to put

your stuff.

Not to mention the

inconvenience of

rocking up at

someone's house and

saying, can I just

stay over for a

little bit of time?

Why bother?

Well, they made the

call that to do so,

to move in together,

would not only be

potentially damaging

to their witness in

front of the watching

world, they would

make their own

conclusions as to what

they were doing, but

it would just

unnecessarily put them

in temptation's way.

And so they made

the call, no, we're

going to live in

separate places until

we get married.

And it cost them, it

cost them money, it

cost them the

inconvenience of

having to do it, but

they wanted to do it

to show the world,

actually our lives are

caught up in the

truer marriage.

And we want to

honour him right at

the beginning of our

married life.

But what a powerful

statement to the

watching world.

not just that we

honour Jesus, but

that we understand

the bigger story

which God has

called us to in

him.

The one of which

the Apostle Paul,

another single man,

could see is a

profound mystery.

And it's a mystery

because it points to

the profound

marriage between

Jesus Christ and

his church.

Now we're going to

move into a time of

communion in just a

minute, we'll sing

one song and then

do it.

But I hope this

just lends itself

so naturally to

that being a

fitting climax to

our time together

this morning.

Because that is

exactly what we're

celebrating, isn't

it?

As we take the

bread and the

wine, we're

celebrating the

union that we

have with our

divine husband, with

Jesus.

Friends, I recognise

that this would have

been a painful topic

for many of us

today and that it

really is a genuine

offer if you want to

chat or to pray.

And again, just

maybe to anyone

sitting around

about you to do

that.

Again, we just want

to foster that

culture where we're

just praying together

is just a natural

thing that we do.

But I'm going to

pray just now.

I'm just going to

pray particularly that

God would be with

us as we journey on

this morning.

So let us pray.

Amen.

And so Father, I

just pray, Lord, that

by your Holy Spirit,

Lord, that you would

be bringing words

right now, I take

it, of challenge

and perhaps of

painful prodding in

areas where we need

to change.

Oh, but Father, would

he also be bringing

words of comfort,

and words of

grace.

Father, as you, as

we've looked at this

morning, speak those

words into some of

the most painful and

sensitive of places.

So Lord, I pray that

wherever we are today,

Lord, that we

wouldn't leave this

place with a spirit of

judgment or condemnation

upon us.

But Lord, we would

leave this morning

having met with the

gracious King, Jesus

Christ.

gracious Father, we

just commit ourselves

into your hands, the

hands that hold us, the

hands and heart that

love us.

We just pray these

things to you, our

good Father, in Jesus

name.

Amen.