The Marriage

Well, good morning, everyone. Thank you, Fiona and Alistair, for really bringing that alive to us there.

That was great. So, let me just pray as we begin before we get stuck into what God's Word has to say to us this morning.

God and Father, we pray for this time this morning. We thank you for your Word.

We pray that you will speak to each one of us and that there'll be more of you and that there'll be less of me

and that each one of us will have open hearts ready to receive your Word. Amen.

So, in the Song of Songs, the Song of Songs. Now, this is our third installment. We've had two weeks already.

And whether or not you've been here, I'm going to do a bit of a recap because it's always good to remember

where we've been, what the book's all about before we get stuck into this passage this morning.

So, this is the Song of Songs, sometimes called the Song of Solomon. That might be what your book says.

And that takes it from chapter 1, verse 1, the Song of Songs, which is of Solomon.

So, this is part of the wisdom literature part of the Bible.

So, that includes Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Job, and the Song of Songs.

And the title, the Song of Songs, well, that's a sort of idiom, a phrase that would mean the best of songs.

The best of the best. This is the song of all songs, might be a way to put it.

And it is love poetry. That is how it is written.

Now, love poetry was very common back in these days.

And the words used and all the phrases used, these would have been common things there.

But this was the song of all songs.

And love poetry, well, it was poems that explored desire, explored love, explored relationships.

That was what they were all about.

And we'll see this morning, and we've seen already, that there's really three interpretations when it comes to this book.

You have the Jewish tradition of seeing it as the relationship between Jehovah

and then the people of Israel, that faithful people of Israel.

You have the Christian tradition of looking at it and seeing the Lord Jesus.

And we really do see him, while not mentioned explicitly,

and we'll see how we see him this morning in this passage.

And his relationship to believers, the church, who is described as his bride.

And then the third interpretation or application that we get from the song of songs

is about human relationships and about how God designed them.

So the last two weeks, in chapter 1, 2, and the start of 3, we've seen this man and woman.

We've seen her delight in her shepherd man.

They are engaged.

And vice versa, he delights in her.

They have that reciprocal love.

And then today is the day.

It's the wedding day.

You know, two of our church family got married on Friday,

and they would have been building up to that for weeks and years and months or whatever.

But today is the wedding day.

So let's get stuck in and look at it.

First, we're going to see the glory of the king.

The glory of the king.

Then we're going to see the beauty of the bride.

The beauty of the bride.

And then we're going to look at the perfection of the marriage.

So let's first of all look at the glory of the king.

Now, who, most people probably into a wedding.

You've at least seen a film that involves a wedding.

Now, who is the centerpiece of the wedding?

There's a big clue in that picture.

It's the bride, isn't it?

There's a big procession comes.

You know, the men, they're all at the front, the groom and the groomsmen,

sort of laughing and joking with each other,

trying to pretend they're not nervous.

And then you've got all the people come early and they're standing, waiting,

sitting, waiting for the procession to come.

And then suddenly it goes hush and it's quiet.

Then the bridesmaids, they come in and there's that kind of strange walk that they do

that's not too fast, not too slow.

And then eventually, the main event, the bride appears.

Everyone looks back.

Oh, doesn't she look beautiful?

Well, this, in a sense, is the opposite.

And this was the tradition back then.

We have this shepherd, this shepherd man, but he's returning here.

He's coming in the glory of the king.

And we have this mighty procession that we read about in chapter 3, verse 6 through to 11.

What is that coming up from the wilderness like columns of smoke?

This procession, this would have been seen for miles.

The dust was beginning kicked up with all this people coming.

The king in all his glory.

And we have this king language.

Please do have the book in front of you.

Please do have your head in it as we go through.

That would be very helpful.

But we have this king language.

We see the litter, the carriage or his chariot.

We see the best of wood of Lebanon.

We have silver and gold and purple and the crown.

And we have king mentioned twice.

So we really do have this king language.

This is a royal procession.

It is rich.

There is no expense spared.

And you know, this would have actually been a culturally common thing.

That the groom would come in all his glory and splendor and all eyes would be on him.

And it tended to be that the bride was there too getting brought to the wedding.

She would potentially have been on that litter, that kind of bed that was carried as part of this procession.

But the groom has all the glory here.

The groom has the glory.

You know, we see in this initial section that there is real Israel language going on here.

So the initial readers of this book would have been the people of Israel.

And they would have quite easily seen this and thought of their God, Jehovah.

We have, it mentioned, we have the mighty men of Israel, the daughters of Jerusalem, the daughters of Zion.

And you know, this language used of silver, gold, purple, all these descriptions, these are in Isaiah 60,

which Al read for us already, or he read part of it.

And this is where the people of Israel, their minds would have gone to Isaiah 60,

where it talks about the faithful remnant of Israel being glorified in a day to come.

And they would have been thinking about that future time,

where the faithful remnant of Israel will be glorified.

Verse 19 of Isaiah 60 says,

But you know, when we read this, in this day and age, we really see the Lord Jesus.

Verse 6, it's mentioned myrrh and frankincense.

Now, myrrh is mentioned four times in this short passage that we have read.

Frankincense, well, it's mentioned three times.

Myrrh, the most obvious one we think of with myrrh,

was one of the gifts that the wise men brought.

Same with frankincense.

Myrrh was present at the Lord Jesus' birth.

It was also present at his death.

He was offered myrrh as a kind of sedative for his pain on the cross,

which he refused.

He did not dull his pain.

And myrrh is also mentioned at his burial.

It was used as an embalming agent for the smell of a dead body.

So when we think of myrrh, we think of the Lord Jesus.

Our minds go there.

And also frankincense.

Well, it was what the priests used to offer sacrifices,

which is what the Lord Jesus was.

You know, in more literal terms, this here is King Solomon.

He is the literal son of David.

Now, Jesus describes himself as such

and is described by others in Matthew's gospel

as the son of David.

So our minds go to the Lord Jesus when we read here

and his relationship to his church.

You might be sitting there thinking,

well, hold on.

This doesn't sound like the stories you read of the Lord Jesus.

This doesn't sound like what I've heard about him.

Wasn't he the meek one?

Wasn't he the one who didn't have a place to lay his head,

never mind all these possessions?

He suffered.

He died.

Well, this is the future that we see.

Christ will return in glory,

taking his bride, the church, to be with himself.

This afternoon, please go and read Revelation 21.

It's brilliant.

All about that relationship with Christ and his bride.

As we sit here today, we have the joy of this age

that we look back,

seeing that the Lord Jesus has come once.

We can read all about that in the gospels,

the stories of the Lord Jesus.

He completed that salvation work when he came.

But with the joy of this age is that we get to look forward

and we get to see that he will come again,

returning in the glory of the king,

bringing us to himself.

And then there will be eternal perfection.

So the object of the glory in this passage is the groom,

the Lord Jesus.

Jesus has done it all.

Jesus paid it all, all to him I owe.

It's all for his glory.

The bride here, the bride is brought along,

protected, kept safe with the groom.

That takes us to the beauty that we see of the bride.

The phrase goes,

beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

That's true to a degree, isn't it?

We all see things differently.

But we get to see here what he says about his love.

The bride is shown to be perfect,

to be perfect, to be completely captivating to the groom.

And just a note here that the language used here,

this wasn't for the time that it was written,

it wasn't inappropriate,

it wasn't immoral,

it wasn't unusual.

This would have been common language used in this love poetry,

in the culture that it was written.

For us, it's a bit strange,

but that's just the way that it is.

You know, we see a few things in here,

but first we see that the bride is absolutely flawless in his eyes.

And this is bookended.

So this is chapter 4, verse 1 through to verse 7.

Isaiah 4:1

And it's bookended with that phrase,

beautiful, my love.

And as it goes through,

it mentions seven parts of the body.

Eyes, hair, teeth, lips, cheeks, neck, breasts.

It works from top to bottom.

You know, the phrasings are strange,

the imagery used is a bit odd,

but basically what it is saying is that

each of these things is the best of the best.

The best of the best.

In the Bible, the number 7,

it's often used to represent perfection.

That is a common thing in the Bible,

the number 7.

And these seven things are basically saying

that she is perfect in his eyes.

And it's summed up at the end of verse 7

where it says,

there is no flaw in you.

And this is lovely on its own

if we just take it at face value.

Words of affirmation.

It's one of the love languages, isn't it?

It's great to tell people how we feel about them.

It's great to tell people

and encourage them in that way.

Not sure I would recommend quoting directly

from this passage.

I'm not sure how that would go.

But words of affirmation are good.

But the truth that we see from this passage

is that we are seen as perfect in God's eyes.

How wonderful is that?

Well, how is that possible?

And is it universal?

Where in verse 6, again,

we have these markers.

We have the myrrh

and frankincense mentioned.

We've already talked about what they mean,

but the myrrh,

well, it takes us to the cross.

That smell, the sweet bitterness,

the sweet bitterness of Christ's suffering

because it was so horrific

and yet it did so much for us.

And frankincense,

well, that speaks as well.

You know, that was actually a white substance

and it speaks of the moral glory of Christ.

His perfection.

Christ Jesus' work,

it allows us to be viewed in this way.

We read about that in the Gospels,

in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

And what the Lord Jesus did during his ministry,

it allowed us to be seen

that we have no flaw,

that there is no flaw to be found

if we are in him.

Well, what does that mean?

Well, we thought the Lord Jesus came

and he was born.

He lived his life.

Unlike us, he never sinned.

He was perfect.

There was no blemish found in him.

There was no flaw.

The devil even tried to tempt him,

but he refused.

He had his ministry on earth

where he did the miracles.

We were thinking about some of them

in the kids' talk.

These miracles, they showed

that who he said he was,

God, was true.

That's what his miracles proved.

And he went all the way to the cross.

Suffering and death,

the weight of sin,

the punishment that we deserve

put upon him at that moment.

Even though he did not deserve it,

he took that for us

in that moment on the cross.

And he died.

But that wasn't the end of the story, no.

Christ rose again.

And he witnessed to many different people,

these people who were terrified,

thinking that they had lost the one

that they were following for many years.

But you know,

these people were so convinced

by his resurrection

that they went on

to tell others,

to tell anyone who would listen.

And most of them were killed

doing so.

This is the gospel.

This is the good news of Jesus.

And if we accept these things,

if we accept his offer,

we accept the free gift of salvation,

then he has made us perfect.

When God looks upon us,

he sees the perfect sacrifice

of Christ.

There is no blemish anymore.

Let me read this from Ephesians 5.

It's Paul.

He's using the imagery

of the husband and wife

like we see here.

I think this is worth reading.

It's up on the screen.

It's quite small,

but I'll read it anyway.

Husbands, love your wives

just as Christ loved the church

and gave himself up for her

to make her holy,

cleansing her by the washing

with water through the word.

And to present her to himself

as a radiant church,

without stain or wrinkle

or any other blemish,

but holy and blameless.

In the same way,

husbands ought to love their wives

as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife

loves himself.

After all,

no one ever hated their own body,

but they feed and care for their body,

just as Christ does the church,

for we are members of his body.

Christ presents the church,

his bride, to himself

made perfect without stain,

wrinkle or blemish.

It's beautiful that, isn't it?

But you know,

just as an aside,

there's a real challenge there

for any husbands out there.

Love your wives.

Love your wives

as Christ loved the church.

And we just think about

what Christ has done for us.

So what a challenger is

in there for husbands

to love their wives

as much as that.

And that takes us to

the perfection

of this marriage.

The perfection of this marriage.

So what's the main part

of a wedding day?

You've got a lot of stuff

going along,

you know,

before,

after,

during.

There's a lot of dancing,

there's a lot of food

when the bacon rolls

come out about

half nine,

ten o'clock.

That's always a highlight

for me.

But you know,

the main part

of the wedding day

is the marriage.

Because without it,

it's just a party

or it's just a feast

or it's just a gathering

of people.

It should be the main part

of the wedding day.

So here we have it.

The marriage.

And we see in here

that the bride

is cared for.

We're going to see

various things

about the bride

in this section.

Now,

my bride is

in 4 verse,

in chapter 4,

verse 9,

it is repeated,

sorry,

from verse 8.

From 4 verse 8

down to 5 verse 1,

my bride is repeated

six times.

We have that real sense

of belonging there.

You know,

the Shulamite,

this is the Shulamite woman

it's mentioned earlier.

You know,

that is actually

the female form

of the word Solomon.

She already

has his name.

And we have the tradition

nowadays of the bride

tends to take

the groom's second name.

That is common.

You know,

she already had

his name already.

But there's a real sense

of belonging here,

this my bride,

my bride,

my sister,

my heart.

There's the my language

going on there.

And this isn't a sort

of possessive thing,

but it is a sense

of belonging.

And with that belonging,

it brings protection.

In verse 8,

we have these desolate,

high up,

dangerous places.

We have the wild animals.

And what it is saying

is that there is safety

with the groom.

We also saw that

in the procession

in chapter 3,

verse 7,

where we had these

mighty men of Israel

protecting the bride.

If we are in Christ,

then we have that

protection in him.

Now,

it is not a physical

protection.

It doesn't mean

that life's going

to be rosy

and sunshine

and rainbows,

but it means

that our salvation

is secure.

If we have accepted

him,

then no one,

nothing can take us

from his hand.

We are cared for.

We will never be lost

because he is mighty.

Secondly,

in this perfection

of the marriage,

we see that the bride

is captivating.

The groom is

absolutely smitten

and he says,

how much better

is your love

than wine?

Now,

this is repeated

from chapter 1,

verse 2,

where she says

this about him.

So,

this is a reciprocal

love.

This is a shared

sentiment

and they are rejoicing

in the fact

that they love

one another.

And interestingly,

in this section here,

we are moving away

from the physical.

So,

in the previous section,

we had all these

physical body parts

that he just saw

no flaw in her.

but here we move

to who she is.

We have the

my heart language.

This speaks of

her inner being.

We have the lips

and tongue.

That talks about

her speech,

what comes out

of her mouth.

And we have

her garments

mentioned.

Now,

garments often

represent

someone's character,

who they are.

The bride is

captivating

to him.

And if we are

Christ's bride,

then we are

to have

seasoned speech,

good character,

so that we are

pleasing to him.

Christ in his work

has made us

perfect.

The church,

it is entirely

for his pleasure.

It's not for

our pleasure

that we have

been saved.

It is for his.

So,

the church

is to bring

Christ joy,

and it does.

this is only

possible because

of verse 15,

it talks about

living water

and streams

flowing.

Now,

that's having

hinting at

the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit

in the church

allows us

to please him.

In the day-to-day

when we do things

for Christ,

he delights in us.

And we should

want to please him

because of all

that he has done

for us.

And you know,

we're still imperfect.

We mess up,

don't we?

We are not

how he would

like us to be.

But you know,

he will return

triumphantly

in that day-to-come,

and eternally

we will please him.

Revelation 19,

7-9

says this.

Once again,

it's pretty small,

but I will read it.

Let us rejoice

and be glad

and give him glory,

for the wedding

of the Lamb

has come,

and his bride

has made herself

ready.

Fine linen,

bright and clean,

was given her

to wear.

Fine linen

stands for the

righteous acts

of God's

holy people.

Then the angel

said to me,

write this,

blessed are those

who are invited

to the wedding

supper of the Lamb.

And he added,

these are the

true words

of God.

So the righteous

acts of God's

holy people

please him.

thirdly,

we see that

the bride

is celebrated.

Garden is

mentioned

from verse 12

to the end

five times.

Garden

often spoke

of sexuality

in the ancient

Near East.

And our thoughts

as we,

certainly my thoughts

when we see this

language and we see

garden mentioned

again and again,

we go to the

Garden of Eden,

don't we?

that famous

garden.

That garden

where it was

a perfect place.

You had man

and woman

living in

complete harmony

as well as

with the animals

and creation

itself.

You know,

what do we see

in this section?

Well,

the garden

is described

as being locked

twice

and it is said

it is sealed.

What this is

getting at

is that she

has kept

herself

for her

husband.

She has

been

locked.

The groom

here is

actually

celebrating

her virginity.

These locked

pleasures

which it

describes.

And this

is counter

cultural,

isn't it?

Graham,

helpfully,

over the last

couple of weeks

he's been

highlighting

some of the

lies that

culture might

try to tell

us.

And we have

one here.

You know,

in our world

today people

would say,

well,

you know,

before marriage

surely you

want to live

with them

first.

Just check

who does

the dishes

and does

it work

and all

that kind

of stuff.

Surely you

want to have

sex first

just to make

sure that

on that

level

everything's

okay.

We live

in a

sexualized

culture,

don't we?

I was

speaking to

Pete on

Thursday and

he was

saying that

he's in

marketing

and they

try,

you know,

even in

that world

that people

try to use

sex to

sell things.

And we

know that.

Look at the

adverts on

TV.

We live in

a sexualized

culture.

People try to

tell us,

well,

why would

you wait?

Surely you

try it out

before you

buy.

You know,

God's design

for relationships,

for sex,

and for marriage

is completely

different.

Graham,

he helpfully

phrased

wisdom

literature

right at

the start

a couple

weeks ago

as how

to live

in God's

way,

in God's

world,

for our

good.

We need

to remember

that this

is God's

world that

we're living

in.

I think

we sometimes,

I sometimes

forget that.

We think

this is our

world to

do what

we want

to do.

But,

you know,

this is God's

world,

and he

has designed

things a

certain way

because he

knows it

is for

our good.

Surely the

one who

made it

all knows

what is

best about

everything,

especially when

it comes to

things like

relationships,

marriage,

and sex.

God knows

best,

and I think

that's sometimes

a difficult

concept for

us to

accept.

I was

thinking about

this,

and everyone

loves Ikea,

right?

Ikea's

great,

isn't it?

Now,

if you've

never bought

something from

Ikea before,

or to be

honest,

even if you've

bought many

things from

Ikea,

they send you

that,

don't they,

and it's

flat-packed.

That's the way

that they go.

Okay?

Now,

I'm a

generalized man

who doesn't

really like

following

instructions.

You know,

I'm sure I

could do it

myself.

But,

you know,

you get

something fairly

complex from

Ikea,

or even

one of the

more simple

things,

and you

try and do

that yourself,

well,

good luck

to you.

Tell you

that for

free.

They send

you an

instruction

manual,

don't you?

Don't they?

The person

who designed

it,

the person

who built

it,

they send

you this

manual and

go,

look,

this is how

it works

best.

This is

how to

do it.

And thank

goodness,

well,

you know,

it is similar

but different

with God.

It's an

imperfect

picture,

but God

has designed

this world.

He's given

us the gift

of marriage,

and it is a

joy and a

privilege.

Sex,

relationships,

marriage,

it is a

gift,

and it is

good,

but it is

to be enjoyed

in his

way.

So the

bride is

celebrated

here.

Lastly,

we see that

the bride

is timely.

You know,

on a similar

note,

verse 16,

the bride,

she says,

awake,

O north wind,

there's some

interesting

imagery there.

And honestly,

if you go and

spend some

time looking

at the

Song of

Songs and

all the

different meanings

you can find

in it,

you'd be there

for hours,

but it's been

really enjoyable

studying it

these last

few weeks.

But he

invites the

groom to

consummate

their marriage,

and he,

in chapter 5,

verse 1,

he samples

all that she

has to offer.

There's that

my language,

he says,

my garden,

my sister,

he says,

my,

eight times

in that verse.

You know,

throughout this

book so far,

in chapter 2,

verse 7,

and chapter 3,

verse 5,

which is the

verse just

before we

started reading,

the bride,

she's been

warning these

others who

are in this

book,

not to stir

up love

until it

pleases.

Now,

what she's

basically saying

is be patient.

Don't be

hasty when

it comes to

these things.

The right

thing at the

right time.

this year,

this is a

celebration of

God's good

timing.

Sex is

worth waiting

for.

Now,

if you're in

that stage,

maybe you're

dating or

you're waiting

to be married

or something

like that,

let me

encourage you

that it is

God's good

plan that

these things

are within

the safety

of marriage.

There's no

shame between

the couple

here,

and then

we once

again see

that Eden

where there

was no

shame between

Adam and

Eve in

God's good

design.

Now,

as we close,

I'd just like

to address

because,

you know,

maybe this

dreamlike,

perfect,

Eden-type

relationship,

marriage and

sex,

well,

that's not

your experience.

You know

what?

It's not

anyone's

experience.

You know,

maybe you've

not waited

for marriage.

Maybe just

talking about

relationships,

marriage and

sex,

just brings

pain and

regret.

Maybe it's

something difficult

for you to

hear about.

You know,

I don't want

you to be

sitting there

feeling shame,

guilt,

embarrassment,

or whatever

it is that

this subject

brings up

for you.

Going back

to the previous

section,

the bride,

well,

she is seen

as flawless

in his eyes,

but let me

tell you something,

there is no way

that she was

flawless.

No way.

She was a

person just

like any

other,

so she

was flawed.

We are the

same in

Christ Jesus.

We are not

perfect,

are we?

We mess

up.

I mess

up.

But if we

have accepted

Christ,

then we are

made the

same as

she is here,

where she

is seen

as flawless.

We will

never be

good enough

in life,

but he

is.

all have

sinned

and fall

short of

the glory

of God.

Please

don't feel

alone in

these

things.

When Christ

looks on

us,

he sees

not what

we have

done,

but what

he has

done.

We are

seen as

perfect.

The hope

of the

gospel,

it sets

us free

from that

sin,

that guilt,

that shame

that we

feel.

we are

offered

forgiveness.

You know,

in the world

today,

people might

define

themselves

by their

sexual

identity or

even their

sexual

activity.

Our

identity

is in

Christ.

You know,

maybe you're

not on a

different note,

maybe you're

not married

at all.

Maybe that's

something you

desire,

but it

hasn't

happened

yet.

Maybe

it's not

happened

at all

for you.

Or maybe

your marriage

is broken

down,

or it's

ended

for whatever

reason.

Well,

marriage

isn't our

identity

either.

It's not

a requirement.

Paul,

in his

letters,

he actually

celebrates

those who

are single.

He celebrates

singleness

and the

opportunities

it allows

for the

work of

being able

to do

work for

the Lord.

You know,

nowhere is it

said that

there will

be marriage

in heaven.

And I'm

sure there

won't be.

There will

not be

marriage

in the

same way

that there

is here.

Now,

why?

Why will

there not

be marriage

in heaven?

Well,

marriage on

earth is

just an

imperfect

picture of

that marriage

in the day

to come

between the

Lord Jesus

and his

bride.

So there

will be no

need for

physical

marriage

because we

will be in

that perfect

marriage with

Christ as

his

believers.

Marriage,

relationships,

relationships,

or you

know what,

anything else

in life.

They do

not complete

us.

Christ

completes us

and in

Christ we

lack nothing.

And this

isn't to say

that we don't

question things

and that we

find things

painful,

that we find

things difficult,

that things go

wrong.

That certainly

is true.

but our

hope is in

Christ.

I'm very

aware that

these things

are real,

these things

can be raw,

they can be

painful.

So please

come and chat

to me after.

I'd love to

pray with you

about these

things or grab

Al or grab

someone in

the church

that you know

and love

and trust.

It's great

to be able to

support and

love one

another in

these things,

in our

difficulties,

in our

innermost

turmoils,

whether it's

about this

subject or

anything else.

So please

do that.

Let me just

pray as the

band comes up

and we'll

end our

time.

God and

Father,

I just thank

you for

your word.

We thank

you that we

are in that

blessed position

of being able

to read and

know about

the Lord

Jesus and

that he

came.

The

suffering

servant

died for

us.

He took

our sin

upon

himself.

He took

what we

deserved.

We thank

you that

that wasn't

the end,

that he

died,

but that

he rose

again and

that we

can have

salvation

in him,

that we

can be

seen as

flawless in

your eyes

because of

the work

of the

Lord

Jesus.

Thank you

so much

for the

truth of

these

things.

God,

we pray

that you

will help

us in

our lives

to be

witnesses

of your

things.

Help us

as well

in the

pain and

when things

go wrong.

Pray that

you will

comfort us,

that we

will be

there for

one another

and you

will help

us in

this life.

Help us

to keep

that

mindset of

looking on

the life to

come where

we will

eternally

spend

salvation

with you

and we

will be in

that place

where there

will be no

more tears,

where there

will be no

more suffering

and things

will be

truly perfect.

So we

thank you for

your word

and ask your

blessing on

it.

In Jesus'

name we

pray.

Amen.