A Higher View of Divorce

Okay, folks, well, it's lovely to see you today. How are we all doing? Okay. If you have a Bible, come with me to Matthew chapter 5.

Matthew 5 · chapter mention

We've only got two verses this morning, 31 and 32, but so big was the topic, we felt it'd be great to devote a whole sermon just to these two verses.

So Matthew chapter 5, 31 and 32. You can use the Pew Bibles or you can scroll on your phone or hopefully you brought your own Bible as well this morning.

Matthew 5 · chapter mention

If you don't have a Bible, we've got plenty of those at the back. That's our gift to you. You can take it when you head this morning.

But whatever we need to do to get God's word open in front of us, please let me encourage you to do it.

So we're going to read this in about 10 minutes time, but let me just try and get us into what's going on in these couple of verses.

There was a song that I was singing in the kitchen recently.

And here's the chorus. See if you recognize it. I'm not going to attempt to sing it.

Go easy on me, baby. I was still a child.

Didn't get the chance to feel the world around me.

I had no time to choose.

What I choose, what I chose to do, so

go easy on me.

Anyone recognize the lyrics from Adele?

Yeah.

So one of my favorite songs from that album, actually one of her best-selling albums of her career, really.

But if you know the backstory to that song,

it's her explaining to her son

why she ended her marriage with his dad.

A marriage where she said in an interview with Vogue magazine that she was just going through the motions

and she wasn't feeling it anymore.

That was her precise line to this interview with Vogue magazine.

And I say it because Adele's story,

in a sense I kind of feel sorry for her because she's had to kind of live that in the public eye.

But her story is so illustrative of the massive shift that's happening right now in our culture.

And statistics would tell us this,

about how our society views this whole concept of marriage and divorce.

So let me try this on with you for size and see if it connects in terms of the generations.

A generation above mine and a few above mine,

not without their faults when it came to marriage,

we'd have talked along the lines of the primary thing being all about faithfulness.

Skip to my generation and a few generations below mine,

or one generation below mine.

We are certainly not without our faults when we talk about marriage and divorce.

But we talk a lot more along the lines of fulfillment, don't we?

It's kind of what people long for these days, fulfillment.

Ours is an age of no-fault divorce.

If you remember that phrase that Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow coined just a few years ago,

what was their phrase to describe their divorce?

It was a conscious uncoupling.

So this is the air that we breathe today, living in Scotland in the year 2026.

Now here's the point.

As you think about that trajectory,

In our world today, when it comes to how marriage is viewed and looked upon,

is the trajectory, is it higher or is it lower?

I think it's lower, isn't it?

It's lower.

It's so important to think about that when it comes to what Jesus is going to tell us to do as his people

in his word this morning.

I always love how John Stott, the late John Stott, described the church as it lives in culture.

He always had this lovely phrase where he said,

just remember it's a lot like fish.

It's only dead ones that go with the flow.

And that's exactly what we're going to hear Jesus call all of us here today as one church family,

as his people living in this city, regardless of what your relationship status is.

When it comes to God's wonderful intention for this one man, one woman, for life thing

that we read about in the Bible called marriage,

in a society that's going lower,

Jesus is calling us to go higher.

Now we've only got two verses today,

which we're just going to read in a few moments time.

We're going to get to grips with what Jesus is saying in its context about divorce.

And then because this affects all of us,

every single one of us in one way or another,

I'm just going to try and apply this pastorally in three ways.

So hang on for that right at the end.

But here's the thing I've been wrestling with all week.

In fact, I've known this is coming up for about two months now.

Here's what I've been wrestling with.

Why not just skip it?

Or why not just couch it in amongst kind of four other commands

and we'll kind of just give this five minutes and skip on.

Can I just tell you two convictions that drive me why we don't skip this?

Number one is a conviction about the Bible.

That all of this, all of scripture is God breathed, right?

We're a church that loves its 316s.

We love John 316, for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son,

that whoever believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

We're also a church that loves 2 Timothy 316,

that all scripture is God breathed and is useful.

And so that's why we go towards this.

Every single verse in our Bibles is there because God wanted it to be there.

And the second conviction is just an experiential one.

Having done this gig now for, well, we've been at Brunsford this summer for 14 years.

The amount of people that sat in these pews during that time.

But here's the conviction.

It's an experience.

Having walked with people these number of years,

that God does the deepest work in our hearts

when we go towards the hardest parts of his word.

I was thinking of my mom when we were young.

She used to make us every morning as kids take cod liver oil tablets.

Every single one of those three words is terrifying, isn't it?

Cod liver oil tablets.

Four words.

But here's the thing.

It tasted disgusting.

It was really hard.

But it was so good for me.

And I pray, friends, that whatever's going on in your life today,

this would be that in your life and in my life.

Because just in case you're thinking of checking out at this point,

notwithstanding the punch of this,

and I won't hold this back,

it's good news for us that Jesus speaks into this today.

Really good news.

And this could well be.

It's not like we preach on this every week.

This is why we go through the Bible.

These things come up.

This could be just the light into your darkness that you need this morning.

Here's the question I want you to have in your mind as we journey through this today.

We're going to come back to it right at the end.

Why does Jesus care so much?

Will we read it together?

It's on the screen.

Here we go.

It has been said,

Remember this is Jesus talking,

Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.

But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife except for sexual immorality makes her the victim of adultery.

And anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Let me pray.

Lord, we pray that you would just be with us this morning.

Lord, I'm so aware of my inadequacy.

Lord, I pray that your spirit, where all of our hope is,

your spirit would take your words and implant it and apply it deep into our lives.

May we leave here with a bigger view and love for Jesus, we pray in his name.

Amen.

So we're in the Sermon on the Mount.

Let's get, we run up to this in the Sermon on the Mount.

Remember, Jesus is speaking primarily to his disciples about what life inside the kingdom of God looks like.

Remember, this is not an ethical lecture.

This is what the spirit of God does in a human heart when the king moves in.

This is what life inside the kingdom looks like.

And in this sermon, he's doing two things.

This is really important for where we're going.

Number one, he's challenging the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who are in the background.

Who are sticklers for keeping the letter of the law, but totally missing the heart of the law.

And two, Jesus is bringing out the true meaning of the law.

Now, this is how I've, as a journey with this Sermon on the Mount,

we kind of plan these things six months in advance.

This is kind of where my thinking has got to.

What is Jesus doing here?

You know, my favorite news story from a couple of years ago.

Do you remember this one?

Yeah?

Is it, I can't pronounce this, Eke Mono?

Was that the painting that was in a really bad way?

And this 80-year-old woman, I wrote her name down, Cecilia Jimenez.

She volunteered to try and restore it.

And she came up with a picture on the right.

Remember this?

Well, this is kind of what is going on with the Sermon on the Mount.

You can imagine people around in Jesus' day.

They're looking to the teachers of the law and asking this question.

Can you help us see the beauty of the law?

Can you help us understand the true meaning of the law so that we can try and live in light of it

as we worship the God whose word and instruction this is?

Can you help us?

And the Pharisees are holding up a completely distorted view of the law.

And Jesus, if you like, in the Sermon on the Mount has come to restore and show us the original.

Right?

This is what's kind of going on here.

And that's what Jesus is doing at verse 31.

Have a look at it there.

Jesus is quoting them, quoting Moses in Deuteronomy 24.

Do you see it?

He's quoting them, quoting Moses in Deuteronomy 24.

Now, it's going to go on the screen in a minute, so don't worry too much about turning there.

But this is what you read when you turn there.

Just read it to us, right?

If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him, we'll come back to this in a minute,

because he finds something indecent about her and he writes her a certificate of divorce,

gives it to her and sends her from his house.

And if after she leaves his house, she becomes the wife of another man.

And her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce,

gives it to her and sends her from his house.

Or if he dies, then the first husband who divorced her is not allowed to marry her again

after she has been defiled.

That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord.

Now, work with me here.

According to Jesus, the Pharisees' interpretation of that law is miles off it.

Firstly, because they're failing to teach that divorce is only a thing

because of the hardness of the human heart.

God gave these measures to his people as a damage limitation exercise,

not an excuse for change.

Park that thought, we'll come back to it.

But secondly, because they've ripped that quote massively out of context.

So do you see the certificate of divorce language there?

This is where they've got it from.

It was there to do two things.

Firstly, it was there to stop the man initiating a really hasty divorce.

You can understand that one.

But two, this is what you might not have thought about.

It is there to protect the woman.

Now, remember, Jesus is walking and talking not in a 21st century context.

He's walking and talking in a 1st century culture.

One where so often a woman would be completely dependent on a man for her livelihood.

So just remember that.

So this law was actually in place to stop the scenario

whereby a man divorced his wife, sent her away,

and then at a later date decides to try and get her back

and treat her a bit like property.

So the certificate of divorce, if you can appreciate this,

what this is doing is it's bringing a sense of closure to this whole thing.

Do you see it?

Bringing that sense of closure.

Everybody knows where we stand.

But in Jesus' day, this certificate of divorce

divorce is being treated a bit like a monopoly get-out-of-jail-free card

for any unhappy husband to play,

and he's got rid of his wife.

So see that?

This is how this works.

Okay, I was a lawyer.

I totally remember how this works.

This works when you had a contract.

You would define your terms before you got into the contract, right?

You can talk to me about that afterwards if you want.

This is how the game plays.

These guys are doing the same thing.

See that word displeasing.

The Pharisees and the teachers of the law had taken it,

and they'd gone concertina on it, right?

What they'd done is they'd taken it and just totally broadened it out.

So they were making it broad.

In fact, they were making it so broad that even if,

to give you an example, a wife burnt the cooking one evening,

that fell within the scope of displeasing.

No joke.

So the Pharisees and the teachers of the law

weren't honoring the Lord at all as they taught this.

All they were doing, in fact,

was facilitating an easy divorce culture

and leading people straight into sin.

So do you see how our generation, our culture,

is not the only one to have a pretty low view of marriage.

It's exactly the same one here.

You with me?

So that's precisely what Jesus is challenging

if we go back to Matthew at verse 32.

What is he saying here?

I think he's saying two things.

The first big thing is that whilst divorce isn't always necessary,

now hear my words here, okay?

It isn't always necessary.

And reconciliation is always something that we're encouraged to pursue.

There are sadly, regrettably occasions when it is permissible.

And specifically here he mentions sexual immorality.

We're just going to define that as having sex with someone

when you're married to someone else

as being one of those things.

And it's worth saying that that's not all the Bible has to say

about valid grounds for divorce.

I think you could add, and you can talk to me about this afterwards if you want,

come back this evening.

There'll be more space to talk and pray about this kind of stuff.

Desertion and abuse.

And hear me say that when it is valid divorce,

then remarriage is valid too.

And if you're thinking, I'd love to think a bit more about that.

There's a QR code, or you can just Google it,

a Kevin DeYoung article in the Gospel Coalition called Divorce and Remarriage.

One of the best things I've read on it.

We'll take you 20 minutes to read it.

I think it's really, really helpful for teasing this out.

We don't have the time this morning, but that article is top-notch.

But here's the thing.

When it comes to divorce, according to Jesus,

that list is not long.

It's not long.

And it's a serious and a hugely traumatic thing

for everyone involved when it happens.

Here's the second big thing I think Jesus is saying there.

Don't mistake the provision that God makes for a sinful world

with God being okay with the sin.

Say that again.

Don't mistake the provision that God makes for a sinful world

with God being okay with the sin.

They are quick to promote the issuing of certificate of divorces,

flying around like confetti.

But Jesus is saying to them,

bear in mind that at the end of the day

is just a bit of paper.

And just because a man has issued one

doesn't necessarily end the marriage

in the sight of an all-seeing,

won't be mocked,

cares deeply about how we treat one another,

holy God.

Because remember that livelihood culture?

Come back with me there.

The livelihood culture.

When a woman is divorced,

she is almost, as it were,

forced into the arms of another man

for her livelihood.

And in the scenario where her previous divorce

from her husband wasn't legit,

not only is she led straight into committing adultery,

but the man that she goes to

is also led into committing adultery.

And see this whole sin and shame

and guilt and remorse and hurt cycle,

it just balloons.

It's like a vortex.

It just continues to bring in people

and the mess gets deeper

and more complicated.

But see, when you think about that,

who is the one who suffers the most

emotionally, spiritually,

maybe even physically

in this whole rinse and repeat project

that the Pharisees and the teachers of the law

are promoting?

Who suffers the most?

It's the woman.

Isn't it?

Who has all the cards here?

It's not her in this context.

If you know your Bibles,

fly a kite here and see if it connects.

Friends, could it be,

if you know your Bibles,

could it be that that is something

of the life story

of the Samaritan woman

that Jesus encounters in John chapter 4?

John 4 · chapter mention

Because we read about her

and we automatically assume

because we've grown up with Sex and the City

and Friends and all those sitcoms,

we automatically assume

because we view her

through 21st century lenses

that when Jesus says,

you have had five husbands

and the man that you're now with

is not your husband,

we assume, if you like,

she's played away five times.

Yeah?

Now, John doesn't tell us in the text,

so don't hear me wrong.

We can't be sure of her backstory.

And no doubt, listen,

she'll have made tons of mistakes in her life.

But there is,

with this in mind,

the distinct possibility

that she's been issued

with a certificate of divorce

by an unhappy husband

who's found her displeasing

five times.

And the man that she's now with

wants nothing to do

with the marriage thing

because there's such a stigma

around her.

And we don't have time

to see the fact

that she's had five husbands,

there's a man on the scene,

five plus one,

that makes Jesus

the seventh man on the scene,

the perfect man.

I'd love to go there,

but we just don't have time.

But here's the thing.

What does Jesus say to her?

He says,

I've come for you.

What does he say to her?

Samaria's lowest outcast.

He says,

I've come to offer you

living water.

And dear friend,

if that is you today,

if you think you have no idea

the darkness of the situation

that I am in,

know that we have a God

and a Savior

who specializes

in bringing light

into the darkest

and the most horrific

of situations.

But see,

when you zoom out a little,

do you see what's going on

in this context?

When it comes to divorce,

the Pharisees,

what game are they playing?

Again,

I was a lawyer.

Know how this works.

Your job is to what?

Find loopholes.

That's the game

they're playing

with the certificate

of divorce stuff.

They're just trying

to find loopholes.

And in so doing,

they're leading people

towards not a higher view

of it,

but a lower view

of marriage.

But Jesus comes

on the scene

and he wants to talk

about the sanctity

of marriage.

And he's calling

his people

not to swallow

a lower view of it,

but to hold his hand,

trust him,

run to him for healing

and adopt

a higher view of it.

And so here's

what I want to do

in the time we have

remaining.

In a room this size,

and I recognize

there's a ton of people

watching this online

and there are people

who are not here

this morning

who will also be

affected by this.

In a room of this size,

we're in different

seasons of our lives

and this will land

in all sorts of

different places

in our lives.

Can I just try

and apply this

pastorally?

Because I wonder

if one of these

three phrases

as you encounter

this this morning

comes to your mind.

Just praying for you

all this week,

praying for all of us

this week,

and these are just

the three things

that I felt God

lay on my heart.

Here's number one.

And number one

is a lot longer

than two of the three,

so just bear with me.

Okay, here's number one.

Maybe you're thinking this.

I'm right in the thick of it.

Speaking to those of us,

let me just play this out.

Speaking to those of us

who are married,

some of us will be here.

I know some of you

have just got married,

right?

Some of us will be here

and we would describe

ourselves as being

happily married.

And if that's you,

friend,

I want you to see

that you give God

all the praise for that.

All the praise

for his kindness

and goodness.

It's why we started

our service

by singing about

the goodness of God.

Okay,

we give him

all the praise for that.

And let me encourage you

to keep investing

in the health

of your marriage.

Some of you

are really early years

and you need to put

the foundations

in your marriage

at this stage

because you will reap

the benefit down the line.

If you are happily married,

praise God for that.

And yet for others of us,

you might hear me

talk about this

this morning

and you think to yourself,

I'm not happily married.

I'm actually

unhappily married.

And even maybe

you're slowly beginning

to entertain the thought,

maybe,

just maybe,

change

is exactly

what I need.

Maybe your thoughts

have begun

to wonder.

Maybe there's someone

at the office

who you're beginning

to look upon

in a different light.

Can I just say

as your pastor,

deep breath,

gently yet clearly,

kill it.

kill it.

Because if you don't

kill it,

it will kill you.

Do not let

discontentment

be the torpedo

in your marriage.

Kill it.

The devil is the

absolute master

of the bait and switch.

Promises you

everything

and will take

from you

everything.

He is the

master of

whispering

into our hearts

that red flags

are in fact

harmless bunting.

And friend,

if you are there

today,

can I plead

with you?

Kill it.

Kill it.

It is not

harmless,

it is serious

in the eyes

of a holy God.

discontentment.

And maybe this

morning you need

to wake up to

two things

about discontentment.

One is a

good thing.

Okay?

Maybe you need

to know in your

discontentment

that this is just

a season of your

life.

Don't let it

question whether

you're in the

right marriage.

Maybe it's just

a season

of your life.

Listen,

I have been there,

a really busy

season at work,

a run of night

shifts,

middle of exam

season.

Maybe you're

looking after

family members

that's taking

its toll on you.

Maybe you're

looking after

young children

and you cannot

get baby brain

out of your

head.

Can I just

say to you,

if you're in

that period

of life,

it will pass.

Do not let

it cause you

to doubt

whether you're

in the right

marriage or not.

Come up for

air.

It's okay

to struggle

in these

seasons,

but it will

pass.

But maybe

that discontentment,

here's the second

thing,

you need to

think about

perhaps the

things that

are feeding

that sense

of discontentment.

Friends,

have an honest

thing to

yourself.

What programs

are you

watching?

What books

are you

reading?

Whose pictures

are you looking

at on social

media and

think,

actually,

I deserve

a bit of

that.

Why am I

not having

the Kodak

moments?

Why are we

not going to

Disneyland with

the kids

and getting

the selfies?

Why is my

experience of

this different

to the one

I'm seeing

in social

media?

We know

social media

enough to

know that

it's one

side of

the story.

You pop

the bonnet

of those

pictures and

it would

tell a very

different thing.

Don't be

duped into

that.

Think about

the things

that are

feeding your

discontentment

and distracting

you from

Christ.

All those

are just

petri dishes

that are

the perfect

breeding ground

for the

bacteria of

discontentment

to grow.

So maybe

think about

that today.

What is

feeding that

sense of

discontentment?

Maybe today

you need to

take the

action of

just turning

back to

the Lord

and turning

back to

your spouse.

Maybe going

away for the

weekend is

exactly the

thing that you

need to do.

However,

that said,

all of that,

if you

hear me

and you

think to

yourself,

it's more

than that,

can I

encourage you

to talk

about it?

I always

love what

C.S.

Lewis said

about

friendship,

and I think

this is

great.

Friendship is

born at the

moment when

one person

says to

another,

what,

you two?

I thought

I was the

only one.

If that's you

here today,

can I

encourage you

to seek

out another

person?

Just be

honest with

them.

We're here

to help,

not to judge,

not to comment,

we're here to

listen,

I don't know

what a good

friend does.

Maybe even

seek out

another couple

in this

church who

you can be

really honest

with.

So there's

words here

for you if

you're married,

there are

also words

here for

you if

you're not

married.

Can I

just say

don't buy

the lie

that somehow

getting married

is going to

solve all

your problems.

speaking as

one who

is happily

married,

love being

married,

but let's

be honest,

I'm punching

well above

my weight.

Do you know,

I remember

when I got

married just

discovering a

whole host

of different

problems in

my life that

I didn't even

know were

there.

90% were

all about

me and

my stubborn

heart.

Don't think

that marriage

is going to

solve all

your problems,

but I want

you to

appreciate that

you've got

such a stake

in the

married people

in this

church,

their marriage

is continuing

to flourish.

Could you

offer to

babysit one

night?

There's so

many people

here that

babysit for

us to let

us go out.

It's gold

for us.

Could you

offer to

babysit for

somebody?

How can you

go up to

someone today

who is

married and

ask them

how you

can pray

for them?

Those of

us who

are married,

can I just

say this is

not an

excuse as

important as

family time

is?

This is not

an excuse

just to

close our

doors.

Can I

encourage us

who have

been blessed

with families

open our

doors,

let people

in because

we are one

church family

here today

regardless of

our relationship

status.

Maybe that's

exactly where

you are.

I'm right in

the thick of

it.

Can I just

say God

in his

mercy has

words for

you here.

Here's the

other two

and these

are much

quicker.

Maybe you're

thinking to

yourself right

now, I've

been really

hurt by it.

maybe you've

watched this

happen to

someone you

know from

afar.

Maybe this

has happened

to you and

your family.

Maybe this

has even

happened to

you personally.

And I'm

so deeply

sorry that

that has

been your

experience.

Know that

God has

not missed

any of

it.

He knows

every tear,

he sees

every prayer,

nothing has

escaped his

gaze.

But can I

encourage you

to speak up

this morning,

particularly if

you're struggling

silently and

particularly if

that issue is

abuse.

Make no

mistake that we

want our

church culture

to be a

safe place for

sinners, but

we don't want

it to be a

safe place for

sin.

If that is

you, you

need to speak

up.

Again, seek

someone out,

find a friend,

but particularly

if that is

abuse, come

and speak to

the elders.

But the

other person I

thought of in

my mind this

week is maybe

you've given

up on the

whole thing

because you've

been so hurt

by it.

You've given

up on the

whole thing.

It's not for

me.

I'm not doing

it.

I want to

pick another

option.

My prayer for

you this week

has been,

you know,

we've had a

humble brag

here.

I took down a

tree this week

in our garden.

I remember

getting up the

next morning and

looking out and

seeing the sun

shining on

this area of

our garden

where it

never shone

before.

And where

the bits of

our garden

where I'm

thinking in

my head

thinking they've

just never

seen light.

And my

prayer for you

in your

darkest moments

is that you

would see the

light shining

into that

problem.

And I want

you to hang

on for two

minutes to see

why this

means so much

to Jesus.

because as

we gaze at

him we've

got to see

that he is

one who

specializes

in going

towards people.

He's the

one who

specializes

in grace,

new

tomorrows

and in

healing.

You know

when Alex

and I

have had a

really rough

day as

parents we

sit in bed

at night.

Often she's

lifting me

off the floor

or I'm

lifting her

off the

floor.

And we

always say

this thing

to each

other.

Tomorrow

is a new

day.

Got it

wrong as a

parent.

Tomorrow is

a new

day.

His

mercies

are fresh

to us.

But here's

the third

phrase.

Maybe you're

thinking to

yourself,

I'm not in

the thick

of it.

I'm not

hugely hurt

by it.

But you

know what?

I've made

a real

mess of

it.

And I

don't know

friends,

maybe you

have.

Maybe you

know that

you have.

Can I

just say

that Jesus

is wooing

you here

towards

repentance?

And maybe

this slices

two ways.

Number one,

maybe you

have never

acted on

it.

Maybe

you've

never

fessed

up.

The

challenge

here from

Jesus is

for you

to think

about what

are some

of the

really hard

conversations

that you

maybe need

to have?

What do

you need

to hold

your hands

up for

and say

I've

massively

got it

wrong?

Who do

you need

to seek

out for

forgiveness

and being

able to

start a

conversation?

What is

it that you

maybe this

morning are

being called

to turn

and first

and foremost

before the

Lord?

Confess.

But here's

the other

angle on

this slice.

Maybe you

think actually

the last

place I

feel like I

can go

is to

God.

Maybe

shame is

the thing

that is

keeping you

from running

to the cross

of Jesus

for forgiveness.

You think

I've messed

it up so

bad.

You have

no idea.

I've messed

it up so

bad.

Surely

this time

I've gone

too far.

And friends

I beg of

you to

look at

Jesus on

the cross

and see

that you

cannot

out sin

the cross.

And if

you think

you can

Jesus would

say try

me.

Run there

for forgiveness.

Run there

for restoration.

Run there

for redemption.

You cannot

out sin

the cross.

Are you

doing okay?

Right.

Coming into

land.

Just as I

close.

And if

you've lost

me over

the last

20 minutes

this has

been too

hard.

I want

you to

come back

in for

the last

two minutes.

Okay.

Just as we

close 17

years ago

I was an

usher at

a friend's

wedding in

Vancouver,

Canada.

Check that

out.

A place

called

Thetis

Island.

I was

one of

its best

men.

To this

day the

most stunning

wedding

backdrop

I have

ever seen.

The weather

was everything

you'd expect.

Everyone was

looking fabulous.

Canadians were

dazzled by the

fact that we

were in

kilts.

And there

wasn't a

dry eye in

the house

as the

couple made

their vows

to one

another.

But the

pastor stood

up to speak

and he

started with

this line.

He said

Dave and

Amanda as

you set out

on your

married life

today I

want you to

know at

the start

that there

are two

things wrong

with this

marriage.

And he

pointed to

them both

and he

went you

and you.

And we

all had a

laugh because

he kind of

killed the

Disney-esque

moment that

we were in.

But he

did it out

of a

pastoral

love for

those two.

As if to

say here

is what

your married

life will

be like.

Don't let

this decorated

doorway of a

day lull

you into

thinking that

married life is

going to

be this

constant

stream of

bliss and

happiness.

Slow

dancing in

the kitchen

to Michael

Buble.

Roses

arriving every

day from

Interflora.

Valentine's

Day becoming

the new

groundhog day.

Don't buy

it.

But here's

what he also

went on to

say.

Do you know

the only way

this is going

to work and

flourish?

Is if you

keep remembering

what this is

pointing you

to.

And here's

where we

end.

Back to that

question at

the top.

Why does

Jesus care

so much?

And the

reason he

cares so

much is

because marriage

is baked

into the

very purposes

of God.

In Genesis

1 and

Genesis 2

God creates

Adam and

Eve and his

intention is

for them to

become one

flesh.

We've got to

see in the

Bible story

that is

before Genesis

3.

You can do

the maths.

Right?

Before Genesis

3.

So it is

baked into

God's good

design for

creation.

Why has

he done

it?

The answer

the Apostle

Paul gives

in Ephesians

5 is that

so that in

the generations

to come we

would understand

why Jesus

came.

That we'd

understand why

he went to

the cross.

We'd

understand why

he shed

his blood.

We'd

understand where

all history

is going.

Now listen,

in the church

I think over

the last 10

years we've

made much of

the fact that

Jesus was a

single man.

And that is

absolutely right.

And I think

that he is the

stone in the

shoe to the

sexual revolution

that's going on

today that says

you have to

find someone to

be contented.

You have to

find someone to

do life with.

And Jesus

says no.

God,

that is what

life is all

about.

We've rightly

made much of

that.

But on the

other side,

it is also

absolutely true

to say that

Jesus is a

deeply,

holy,

fully

betrothed

man.

and the

apple of

his eye

is his

blood-bought

church.

And we

fail

and we

stumble

and it

feels at

times like

we barely

put one

step

ahead of

another in

this journey

of faith.

We're barely

keeping going.

It feels like

each day is

harder.

than the

rest.

And of

course,

it's true in

the Bible

story that

his people

have given

him every

single reason

for God

to issue

us the

certificate of

divorce.

And yet

Christ goes

to that

cross to

win his

bride.

And if

your faith

is in

him today,

he goes

to the

cross for

you.

We are

unfaithful,

but he is

faithful.

And one

day soon,

he will

come for

his bride.

And do

you know

what?

Our

groom is

going

nowhere.

What do I

pray?

And let's

just be

quiet before

the Lord.

And friends,

just bring

your own

prayers and

your thoughts

before him

this morning,

wherever this

has fallen

on you.

the Samaritan

woman said

to him,

you're a

Jew and

I am a

Samaritan

woman.

How can

you ask

me for

a drink?

For

Jews do

not

associate

with

Samaritans.

Jesus

answered

her,

if you

knew the

gift of

God,

and who

is it

that asks

you for

a drink?

You would

have asked

him and

he would

have given

you living

water.

And so

Lord, I

just thank

you for

Jesus.

Father,

thank you

that whatever

is going

on in

our lives

today,

all maybe

the hurt

or the

regrets or

maybe the

worries or

the people

that are on

our minds

right now,

we bring

them to

you.

Thank you

that nothing

takes you

by surprise.

And thank

you in

Jesus,

we have

one who

comes to

us,

offering us

grace and

truth.

So may

we leave

here today

not with

a sense

of our

guilt,

but with

a lifting

our eyes

to the

greatness of

his grace.

So Father,

be with us

as we finish

our time

this morning.

Would you

be in our

conversations

afterwards?

Lord,

would you

help us

to respond

in ways

this morning

that glorify

you and

are for

our good?

And we

pray all of

these things

in Jesus'

name.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.