The Family Affair pt. 4

Welcome to NECF sermons. Each message here is

designed to uplift and strengthen you in your

walk with God. Don't miss out. Stay with us until

the end for a rewarding experience. Let's dive

right in. The accurate measure of our growth

in the things of God is actually seen in our

work life. in our love walk, how we love one

another, how we allow the love of God to flow

through us. And I really want to see a new wave

in our midst as a church, as a community, that

the love of God is not just on the pulpit. or

in our words, but we see it manifested in our

daily living towards one another. That is how

we see, you know, the power of God at work. Matthew

Matthew 18 · chapter mention

chapter 18. Matthew 18 from verse 15. Matthew

Matthew 18:15

18, verse 15 to verse 19. Moreover, if your brother

sins against you, go and tell him his fault between

you and him alone. And if he hears you, you have

gained your brother. But if he will not hear,

take with you one or two more, that by the mouth

of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the

church. But if he refuses even to hear the church,

let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.

Surely I say to you that whatever you bind on

earth will be bound in heaven. and whatever you

loosed on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again

I say to you, if two or three, two of you rather

agree on earth concerning anything that they

ask, it will be done for them by my Father in

heaven. For where two or three are gathered together

in my name, I am there in the midst of them.

Hallelujah. Now it is important to note that,

you know, that in our family cycle, in the church,

we must be ready to forgive one another. It's

an emphasis. We must always be prepared because

most times, because of the expectation that we

build towards one another, It becomes a shocker

when you are offended by somebody. So it is quite

very important that as family members, as a church,

as a family of God, we must be ready, prepared

at all times. Let it not be that until someone

offends you, then you look for what to do. No.

Before the offense will come, because you are

sure that offenses will do what? Will arise as

a result of your relationship with people. So

long as you interact with people, so long as

we interact with one another, conflict is mandatory.

Hallelujah. If it didn't happen with you, it

simply means that you are not participating in

fellowship with people. It simply means that

you are not, number one, it means that you're

not being a blessing to people and you're not

allowing people to be a blessing to you. It means

that the pastors have no influence in your life.

It means that you don't even belong to a team

in this church. It means that you don't belong

to a cell or you don't have a circle of people

around that are close to you in this church.

But so long as we are together, we are people

and we are interacting together, in the course

of our interaction, all right, there will be

friction. Now, the problem is not the friction.

Hallelujah. The problem is our response to what?

To the friction that will happen in the course

of our relationship. And what God will want us

to do is to create room in our hearts. Now, as

we plan to enter into the new year, Let there

be open -mindedness. Let us be prepared in our

hearts, all right, that my brother, my sister

can offend me. Once we have this preconceived

thought in our mind that my brother can offend

me, then I think up to 50 % of our problems are

solved, our relationship problems are solved.

Secondly, What is my disposition towards my brother's

offense, my sister's offense? My disposition

is that I have forgiven even before she offends

me. Do you understand? That you have already

what? You have already forgiven the brother.

You have already forgiven the sister even before

the offense. With this mindset, it is impossible

for the enemy. It is impossible for Satan. to

have a foothold. It is impossible for Satan to

influence our guarding our relationship because

we are living in love. We are allowed in love

to find expression through us, one another. So

we must get ready to forgive. Forgive our pastors.

Amen? Because our pastors, they will offend us.

Come on, every day, every week, there are people

that we keep offending every day, every week.

In the course of serving you, we offend you.

We'll correct you sometimes and we'll correct

you. Even we feel the impact of our correction

towards you. We have no choice. We just have

to correct you. We have to be bold. See, let

me tell you, it takes boldness, right? It takes

courage. It takes courage to give correction

to people. It takes courage to be firm and to

insist and say, you must do it this way, you

must do it that way. It takes courage to discipline.

There are some people that they can easily just

accommodate everything that happens, even if

you are wrong. Oh, everything is all right. It

takes courage to really be diligent in giving

instruction. In leading people and in guiding

people. So, in your relationship with your pastors,

you must be ready. You know, sometimes when you

correct people, people choose to respond any

way they want to respond. But we must be ready

that no matter how, no matter what will happen

in the course of this new season, that I... will

be open -minded and let the love of God flow

through my heart. So, in the course of our relationship,

pastors, church leaders, we must be ready to

do or to accommodate one another and to let forgiveness

reign. Now, sometimes people think that when

you talk about forgiveness, you know, many times

when I hear people talk about The issue of forgiveness

is that you should forgive so that you will prosper.

You know, if you don't forgive, your life, your

life will not be what? Your life will not be

prosperous. It's partially true. It's not true.

Because some of the most prosperous people, based

on the prosperity that we look at in the world,

some of the most prosperous people we see in

this world are the most unforgiving, are the

most vicious people we can meet. You think in

the business and the political cycle they forgive?

They don't forgive. Alright? So the motivation

for forgiveness and reconciliation is not necessarily

so that your life will be prosperous in the physical.

That's not the reason. If that's your motivation,

just know that Donald Trump says it appropriately.

He does not forgive. He does not forgive. He

deals with his enemies. And he's prosperous.

Isn't he prosperous? Hallelujah. So the reason

why you forgive is because, number one, so that

you enjoy the blessings of your brothers and

your sisters. Because if you have offense towards

me, the moment I clam this people to even bless

you, you will not be blessed. Because automatically

one will stand between you and myself. It's an

offense. Are we together? In our interaction

as a family, we will not be a blessing one to

another. Secondly, we will not be able to truly

demonstrate the love of God. Because the gospel

must be seen in our interaction with one another.

So what we do when we don't forgive is that we

limit the expression of God's love through our

lives. So it is for our benefit. And the benefit

is that so that we will be blessed and we can

grow. We must be ready to forgive and reconcile.

Team members, I've had some teams. There's quite

a few teams. You can't work together if there's

no forgiveness and reconciliation. Hallelujah.

So you must make up your mind that in this new

year, In a prayer time, even if Takunda will

say one thing I don't like, we'll be there. Are

we together? See, relationships don't just break

because they break on their own. Relationships

are not individuals on their own. It's two individuals

or people that choose to uphold a relationship.

And when one doesn't take responsibility, what

will happen? The relationship will be deteriorated.

Hallelujah. So we must be determined to take

responsibility for what? For ensuring that what?

We keep the love. Be ready to forgive and reconcile

with one another. Even at family level, there

are some of you here that you're not in good

times with your parents. Right? Your father and

your mother have not been speaking, they've not

been talking. So you've sided with one part.

You've joined one of the parents against the

other. And oftentimes it's the children ganging

up with the mom against the father. Oftentimes

that's how it happens. Some of us have inherited

our parents' enemies. And what do you call it?

You're like in a family. Your father is not in

good terms with maybe one of his cousins. Who

happened to be your uncles? Automatically, you've

sided with your dad and then you are against

them. So we must be ready to ensure that in our

relationships, there's no obstacle. In the family,

be ready to forgive and reconcile with your wife

if you are married. With your husband? With your

siblings? Some of you, you don't even talk with

your siblings. How is the love of God flowing

through your life? You and your siblings are

like cat and rat. We cannot be doing love in

this church and then you are living in grudge

with your... your siblings, they're living in

God with your parents, they're living in God

with your cousins, your aunties, your uncles.

Even in your work, God work, even with unbelievers,

towards unbelievers. So it is very important

that we examine our relationship. That's what

I want to bring to our notice. It is important

that we examine every... Of our relationships.

But in the family. In the church. In the society.

To ensure that what. We are. Living in love.

Hallelujah. The believer must be relationship

conscious. The believer. Must be relationship

conscious. At all times. Because that is our

identity. You must be poor reconciliation. At

all times. Let it not be that when there's a

division in a place and they come and they find

you, ooh, they believe that you're the one that

is orchestrator of that division. You are the

one that is the main engineer of that separation

relationship. But you must be pro -reconciliation

because we are born, our nature is to build relationships.

Hallelujah. So we must be prepared and ready

to forgive in all situations. Colossians 3, verse

Colossians 3:12

12. Colossians 3, verse 12 to 13. So therefore,

Colossians 3:12–13

as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on

tender mercies, right? Kindness, humility, meekness,

long -suffering, verse 13, the key verse, verse

13. Bearing with one another, and what? And forgiving

one another. If anyone has a complaint against

another, Even as Christ forgave you, what will

happen? You also must do what? Must forgive.

So our forgiveness is a response to what Christ

has done for us. So therefore, it becomes necessary

that at all times we are ready. To do what? To

forgive. To bear with one another. We are bearing

with one another because we are humans. We are

humans. So pastors, bear with us. We are humans.

We are growing. Leaders, bear with us. We are

humans. Correct us. And as we are corrected,

we receive correction in love. Hallelujah. Ready

to forgive when we feel offended? Ready to forgive

when we have a complaint against another? Ready

to forgive? Now in Matthew 17, Matthew 18 verse

Matthew 18:17

17, I just want to discuss some certain issues

that we're... I didn't emphasize in the previous

teachings. Verse 17 particularly emphasizes the

importance of the church. He says, and if, now

first of all, an individual offended you, alright,

you've gone to him to seek reconciliation and

then there was no reconciliation. you've communicated

to your brother or two, and then you've gone

to the person to seek for reconciliation, and

this was not possible. All right? Now, the next

step is to tell it to the church. But if he refuses

even to hear the church, let him beat you like

a hittin', like a tax collector. All right? So,

the church... is very, very important in our

relationship. We must not always, you know, silence

ourselves from the body. Are we together? Acts

Acts 15:10

chapter 15, verse 10. There's an issue that happened

in the church in Acts chapter 10, chapter 15,

Acts 10 · chapter mention

verse 1, where the brethren had an issue concerning

doctrine. I just want us to see an example in

the life of the apostles and we move on. Acts

Acts 15 · chapter mention

chapter 15, from verse 1. And certain men came

down from Judea and taught the brethren. What

was their doctrine? Unless you are circumcised

according to the custom of Moses. You cannot

be saved. So these folks came around and they

began to preach works to the brethren. Therefore,

when Paul and Barnabas had no small dissension,

that is, when they disagreed with them thoroughly

and disputed with them, they were determined

that Paul and Barnabas and certain others of

them should do what? Should separate and divide

the church into two? Should cause division in

the church? What should they do? Certain orders

of them should go up to Jerusalem. Okay, where

the elders are, where the leaders of the church

are. To the apostles and the elders about this

question. What question? The question of the

customs of Moses. Is it necessary for someone

to obey this to be saved? Hallelujah. I mean,

for us, we know at our time and our season right

now, we know that salvation is by what? It's

by faith alone. All right? But for them, it was

a contention. Now, what we want you to learn,

brethren, as you are growing, as you've not seen

us, your leaders do, please, I want to encourage

you, don't try it. All right? I've seen instances

where brethren will disagree on doctrine and

then the pulpit become an opportunity. Pulpit

and media become an opportunity to castigate

and to attack. For example, now Pastor Carson

preached something. Alright? And then I'll go

and listen to what Pastor Carson preached. And

he said for us to reason together on what he

preached. Alright? And reach a place of what?

Conclusion. Together, reasoning together. Then

I come online and I begin to castigate whatever

he said. That is not working in love. Hallelujah.

And sometimes we have warned some of you that,

you know, when you go online and you see things,

you don't have the liberty to make comments or

to contribute to attacks of people because you

don't see us do it. Are we together? So you must

be able to Walk in love. And one of the ways

of walking in love is knowing that the body of

Christ is actually the body of Christ. All right?

Now, in this situation, verse 3, so being sent

on their way by the church, they passed through

Phoenicia and Samaria, describing the conversion

of the Gentiles, and they caused great... Great

joy to all the brethren. So as they were going,

they were telling the churches around how the

Gentiles have repented, have received the gospel.

Verse 4. And when they had come to Jerusalem,

they were received by the church and the apostles

and the elders, and they reported all the things

that God had done with them. But some of the

sect of the Pharisee who believed not, who believed,

rose up saying it is necessary. Now, these are

the people that were adding the things of Moses,

the laws of Moses as a foundation or as a prerequisite

for faith. Some of the sect of the Pharisees

who believe rose up saying it is necessary to

circumcise them and to command them to keep the

law of Moses. Now, the apostles and the elders

came together. The apostles and the elders, what

did they do? They came together, all right? on

that matter, on this matter. And when there has

been much dispute, dispute here is not that I

agree, I disagree, I agree, I disagree. Oh, they

were removing their clothes and crossing punches.

No, no, no. Dispute here has to do with what?

Conversation of scripture. They were analyzing

scripture. They were dispersing scripture upon

scripture, discussing scripture. When they have

what? There have been much dispute. Peter rose

up and said to them, men and brethren, You know

that a good while ago, God chose among us that

by my mouth, the Gentiles should hear the word

of the gospel and believe. So God, who knows

the heart, acknowledged them by giving them the

spirit, just as he did to us, and made no distinction

between us and them, purifying their hearts by

faith. Now, therefore, why do you test God? By

putting a yoke on the neck of his disciples,

which neither our fathers nor we are able to

bear. And then to verse 22. Verse 22. Then it

pleased the apostles and the elders with the

whole church to do what? After they've discussed

the matter, alright? They did please the apostles

and the elders with the whole church to send

choosing men of their own company to Antioch

with Paul and Barnabas, namely Judas, who was

also named Barabbas, and Silas, leading them

among the brethren. They wrote this letter by

them. The apostles, the elders, and the brethren,

to the brethren who are of the Gentiles in Antioch,

Syria, and Cilicia, greetings. that some who

went out from us have troubled you with words

unsettling your soul, saying you must be circumcised

and keep the law to whom we gave no such commandment.

It seems good to us, being assembled with one

accord, to send choosing men to you with our

beloved Barabbas and Paul, men who have reached

their lives for the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

We have before them. Therefore send... Judas

and Silas, who will also report the same things

by word of mouth. For it seemed good to the Holy

Spirit and to us to lay upon you no greater burden

than these necessary things, that you abstain

from things of idols, from blood, from things

strangled, and from sexual immorality. If you

keep yourself from these, you will do well. Farewell.

Concluded. Matter closed. Hallelujah. So you

see, how this conflict, this issue, even when

it comes to doctrinal matters, they were able

to seek the counsel of the church, the leadership

of the church. And we can see how this matter

was amicably resolved. Hallelujah. So it is important

to know that there is no private matter in church

when it comes to conflict between believers.

Okay? What I'm saying is when the two of you

have an issue, it means that the body has an

issue. Hallelujah. So when you are able to try

to resolve it between the two of you, it becomes

important that you bring in the brothers in it.

The church should know about it in order to resolve

it. So believers must be involved. You cannot

be the sole judge of issues alone. You must.

You must involve others, especially in the church.

The verse goes on to say, but if he refuses even

to hear the church, let him be to you like a

heathen and a tax collector. Now, what does it

mean? Let him be to you a heathen and a publican.

I started explaining this on Sunday. Now, the

word heathen is someone who does not know God.

Someone who is a pagan, someone that is not a

believer. All right? And a publican or a tax

collector or a publican is someone who is a corrupt

individual, especially a tax collector to the

Roman authority. All right? Who, you know, inflate

taxes. They are known as very corrupt individuals.

They cheat with records, for example. So these

are those we will regard as sinners, the tax

collector and Republicans. And the Bible is saying

that we should consider such an individual. The

person refused to listen to the church. Even

the church tried to come into the matter, but

then the church could not reconcile such an individual.

We should treat such an individual like a tax

collector. Now, the context of the conversation

here, as we read from verse 15, is that this

person is a brother. The context of the conversation

is that a brother is a brother who sins. The

brother is not a sinner. Are we together? The

brother is not a heathen, is not a tax collector,

but should be treated as a heathen or as a publican.

Now, how should we treat such a brother? We began

to see how Jesus treated such an individual.

Matthew 5, verse 44. Matthew 5, verse 44, quickly.

Matthew 5:44 Matthew 5:44

Matthew 5, verse 44. Yes. But I say to you, love

Matthew 5:44

your enemies, right? Bless those who curse you.

Do good to those who hate you. And pray for those

who spitefully use you and persecute you. The

next verse. That you may be the sons of your

Father in heaven. For he makes his son to rise

on the evil and on the good and send rain on

the just and on the unjust. For if you love those

who love you, what reward have you? Do not even

the tax collectors, that is the sinners, people

we regard as the sinners, do the same. Don't

they do the same? Verse 47. And if you grieve

your brethren only, what do you do more than

others? Do not even the tax collectors do so.

Verse 48. Therefore you shall be perfect. just

as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 9,

Matthew 9:10

verse 10. Matthew 9, verse 10 and 12. Now it

Matthew 9:10

happened as Jesus sat at the table in the house,

that behold, many tax collectors and sinners

came and sat down with him and his disciples.

And when the Pharisees saw it, they said to his

disciples, why does your teacher eat with sinners,

with tax collectors and sinners. When Jesus heard

it and he said to them, those who are well have

no need of a physician. Amen. But those who are

what? Those who are sick. Chapter 10, verse 3.

Matthew 10, verse 3. Philip and Bartholomew Thomas

Matthew 10:3

and Matthew, the tax collector, were part of

his disciples. James, the son of Alphaeus and

Labius, whose son was Thaddeus. We see that a

tax collector was part of his selection of men

that were served as his disciples. Chapter 11,

verse 19. Chapter 11, verse 19. The son of man

came eating and drinking and they said, look.

a gluten and a wine biver, a friend of tax collectors

and sinners. But wisdom is justified by her children.

Matthew 21, verse 31. Matthew 21, verse 31 and

Matthew 21:31 Matthew 21:31

32. Which of the two did the will? Which of the

two did the will of his father? They said to...

The first, Jesus said to them, I surely have

said to you that tax collectors and harlots entered

the kingdom of God before you. Verse 32. For

John came to you in the way of righteousness

and you did not believe him, but tax collectors

and harlots believed him. And when you saw it,

you did not afterward relent and believe in him.

Hallelujah. So from these verses, we'll see Jesus'

disposition towards the people that are called

the tax collectors. So from Jesus' relationship

with these people, we see that he did what? He

didn't hurt them or condemn them and treated

them as sinners or as people to be avoided. Rather,

he became a friend to them. Hallelujah. Jesus

welcomed them. He welcomes them. He accepted

them. So it becomes important that we understand

what the scripture is not saying. The scripture

is not saying that when the person refuses to

reconcile, then we should sever our relationship

with him. Now, there's a difference. Now, there

are two things in scripture. There's a place

where, in Corinthians, of course, where the apostle

taught to leave a brother, all right, is involved

in an open sin. Okay? And then he is corrected

and refuses and continues in that. We should

avoid him and not even eat with him. And what

is the reason? So that he will come to realization

of his wrong and do what? And repent. Now, these

are two different things. The context of this

is in our individual relationship. When it comes

to offenses, when someone offends you, when someone

does something wrong towards you. Hallelujah.

So whether the brother accepts or acknowledges

is wrong or not, we have a disposition and our

disposition is to do what? Is to welcome such

an individual. Matthew 5, 44 that we read earlier

on. It says, but I say unto you, love your enemies.

Those who are in opposition to us, love your

enemies. Bless them. Bless them that curse you.

Do good to them that hate you. And pray for them

which despitefully use you and persecute you.

So what we do is that we love them. Okay? We

allow the love of God in our hearts to do what?

To be expressed towards such individuals. How

do we love them? We love them by blessing them.

How do we bless them? We bless them by saying

good things concerning them. And our utterance

is concerning them. We don't say negative and

evil things concerning them. We say good things

concerning those who do us evil. I know this

may sound difficult. Sometimes someone done something

evil to you and then you are expected to say

something good about the person. Sometimes we

can scramble and look around for anything good

we can say. But our eyes will fail us to say

anything good. But by the help of the Spirit

of God, hallelujah, we can always say good things

about people, even the people that wrong us and

do evil against us. So we say good things concerning

those who do us evil, not saying evil things

concerning them to destroy their image, to destroy

their character. Even when we hear people saying

evil things about them, we say good things about

them because that is what God will expect of

us. We do them good. We help them while in need.

Amen. That's how we love those who despisefully

use us. We help them. We do them good. And we

pray for them. What do we pray for them? What

do we pray for them? We pray for them that it

will be well with them. Hallelujah. That it will

be well with them. Not that they will die. or

that something evil will happen to them, okay,

that person that has offended you, that person

that has done you wrong, your response towards

such an individual, even in the most unwelcoming

version of the person that he has refused to

reconcile, he has refused to even admit that

he is wrong, he has refused to even accept that

he has done, he has offended you, pray for him.

You're not praying that you have an accident

and die. Because that wouldn't be the love of

God. But you are praying that it will be well

with such an individual. You are praying that

he will be prosperous in his ways. You are praying

that he will enjoy the love of God. You are praying

that he will continue to grow and be great. Hallelujah.

So as we run out this year, I just want us to

stop there and continue another time. But I really

want it to be intentional about your relationship

in this coming year. I really want you to be

very intentional about your relationship this

year. We prayed, we keep praying. Listen, it's

good to pray, but as we pray, God will be staring

us in our hearts. God will be staring us in our

hearts. And then we will be led with the right

thing to do at all times, right responses at

all times. And the response we always do is the

response of love towards one another. Hallelujah.

So, I really want us to be encouraged, right?

Be intentional that this year that we are entering,

that I will be a better person. Being a better

person simply means that you allow the Spirit

of God to walk through you. That the love of

God that is already in you is not coming from

anywhere. The love of God that has been shed

that brought your heart by the Spirit of God

that lives in you will be given room to express,

to be expressed. We appreciate you being here

today. We hope you carry this word with you throughout

your week. Don't forget to check the show notes

for additional insights. Stay connected with

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with someone you care about. Until next time,

stay blessed.